One thing is certain, death awaits every living thing in this world. Not just for human beings but also for plants, animals, and all. It's true that our time might come but we still encourage ourselves to be happy and not to worry about it much. Since we already knew about it, we thought nothing would change by thinking about it over and over again.

Of course, we are expecting it to happen but we just don't want it soon. Upon growing older I noticed something about life. We can't accept death when we are still in the middle of life. However, our brain changes and the mindset of being old teaches us to accept it. The kind of happiness will never be the same and there are even times we will get tired because of the illness we are feeling.

Still, life is rude. It teaches you how to love it and live it. Also, it encourages you to be happy and all of a sudden it will be taken away. You did your best to survive, you did your best to live but all of a sudden death is waving at the wrong time. You start to think that life is forever because of happiness and for a brief moment it will make you cry. How can this be unfair when all you want to do is be happy and live a longer life with your loved ones?

This year is kind of crazy. I'm caught up in what's happening and I'm so tired of thinking about why this is happening. Just a month ago my friend died because of cancer. Then just weeks ago, my big brother died. I was overwhelmed by the pain of losing my big brother. Then just yesterday, again, a childhood friend and a neighbor passed away again. Another life was lost that is dear to me. It was too much to handle anymore. It was too much to bear for someone who is always afraid of dying.

I became afraid of life and refused to give a smile. I thought of why I would be when life will just hurt me again. Why would I give my very best to encourage myself to live when I know in the long run there will be an ending? What's the use of working hard when I know I can't have it forever? What does it mean to live when everything has an ending?

I took a break…………
I was tired………….

I found myself shedding tears all of a sudden. I wanted to be in a specific place where I could release all my sorrows. However, I was confused why when I was already at that place I couldn't let all the heaviness in my heart. I kept wondering until I was worn out to think and understand more about life. I decided to let my life flow whenever it took it. Like a leaf floating in the wind, floating and floating and it just lands where it stops.

I didn't understand. I wasn't aware of what was going on. I didn't know if the smile I showed to my friends and my loved ones were real. I avoided not showing sadness to them because I felt like I didn't want them to feel the same. I understand that life should be understood depending on someone's opinion. I don't want someone to be influenced by me and we should share the same perspective about life. I hate that so I took more time being alone rather than spending time with other people.

I thought of seeing beautiful things to change my point of view on life which was caused by the number of people who are dear to me who passed away. I went to the shore to see the beauty of the sea. I went to the mountain to feel the freshness of the wind. I went to random places to at least give a little freedom to myself. Something I wanted to see or feel but I didn't bother to think of it much or find it desperately. I just let it be whatever can make me happy.

The time comes I appreciate again the beauty of life. The heavy heart began to feel lighter than before. The worries were still there but at least a little bit clearer. My fears were replaced with the things that made me happy. Especially when I visited that beautiful shore and also when I dive under the sea. It was magnificent. It was more than that I guess. Thanks to it I came back to being myself again. A silent man but an enthusiast of many things in life.

I found myself back on track in life. I accepted all the things that happened. I submitted myself to the pain and thought of it as me. When the time comes it will hurt me I will just be. I will just cry when I understand that I must be but it should not stop me from being happy. Happiness and sadness are what make life more interesting after all. You will never understand what true happiness is without feeling sadness.

It's part of the journey of someone's life that can never be achieved if it will always be the same. How can someone feel more alive without experiencing downfalls and pain? That's why for someone who is currently in agony right now. I'm telling you to just let it be and wait for it until the time and the world will heal for you. Don't restrain yourself too much because it's unbearable. Don't think that there's no ending to it. Believe it or not, we human beings are capable of overcoming no matter what kind of pain.

The process might take too long because it's too painful. Don't worry because no pain will stay forever. Just like life in this world, so obviously in time, you can get over it. Just keep holding on and just keep fighting because life without challenges will not be considered life. Thanks to those challenges we could tell how lovely it means to live.

Thank you for reading

All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.

ABOUT ME

_{Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, you can tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine. Together, let's explore the world by broadening our thoughts. If you need a shoulder I can lean you mine and I hope I can lean yours. The world is fun when living is not being alone but with someone.}

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