Take Me back to the Stars

I saw a man standing, watching the other man. He was seriously observing the man, as if he wanted to be like that man. Perhaps he was jealous of what the other man achieved so far. A nice job, a better life status and most of all, a better environment.

The man who was standing couldn’t hide his emotions. Like a flood in a strong storm, it’s overflowing. However, himself was like an empty shell, nothing to be proud of and nothing to brag about. Fear and laziness took over him until now; When he looked back he had nothing but dirt on him without treasure he could dig.

He thought he was working hard already and that he deserved a reward. He was just the only one thinking that way because other people around him thought differently. He didn’t work hard, he had no value and was unsuccessful. He couldn’t hide what he truly felt this time. Like a glass, his heart was broken into pieces. This time, he bathed himself with his own tears.

Desperate. He wanted to come back from the time where the opportunities like stars in the sky. It shines and there are so many that it’s easy to pick where and what to. Lonely. He knew there was no going back from the past to correct his path in life. Hopeless. All he could do was to be jealous with other people because for instance, he saw himself like that other guy long ago. Unlike now, he could only see a man frustrated to achieve something even though it didn’t make any sense at all.

He realized that life should not be misunderstood. By the time you started thinking that it would already be enough, you stopped that kind of mindset right away. Life is always full of challenges. Sometimes you are like a fish in a big ocean. A good life is just a bait for you to grab it and be content with it. Like the weather, life will not stay the same always. There are times it will be going up but expect it to go down in time. When you’re not prepared, for sure, you will find yourself in mud crawling.

Basically, that’s what happened today. The man I just saw was actually me. In fact, I’ve never been this way but when my pride and the things I love doing are mocked. The chilling and always acting it’s nothing to worry about will shatter. I just couldn’t believe what I’m most proud of, writing, was just discouraged.

I’ve had enough. There’s nothing to be proud of and there’s nothing to be done. Why pursue this kind of dream when someone just saw it as worthless. It's painful and unbearable. I couldn’t believe I was blinded with my happiness that kept me going. I was a fool and naive not to realize it right away. I guess it’s better to stop this passion and find other things that I might be considered worthy of. So, maybe, a Goodbye….?

…….