I'm Paradoxical
Is it me or the other me? Who I really am? Sometimes I don’t understand who or what I want to become. Like when I’m in love, the feeling is unexplainable and yet I want to keep feeling it.
Do you think I’m weird, right? Yes, I don't deny it because I’m confused as well. You know what’s funny, well, let’s just say it’s funny to excuse myself to be misunderstood. Hmmm, perhaps it’s just me who thinks that way not to embarrass myself if people know what I really am.
Just like any other, I want to be happy. I’m still a human after all and happiness is what makes us continue living. You know what, when I see myself being alone, I want to feel. I’d think of things that could hurt me, the agony and the anguished feeling is what I seek in the moment. Reasons? No, I don’t have that to tell you the truth. It’s just that, when the night is lonely I feel like I'm one of them.
I crave attention too but I don’t welcome people to notice me. Actually, I hate myself for being this but I love how I’ve become. Yes, it’s hard to understand, just like the thoughts in my head. When I am alone, going to sleep or having a rest; When I have nothing to do, my mind keeps on thinking things I don’t want to think about.
I want to be in the crowd but I don’t want to for a long time. Suddenly, I feel like I’m not happy anymore, so the thought of going for a second or a minute. Maybe I just want to recharge because the number of people surrounding me is draining me. You think it’s stupid, right? Sorry, but that's just how I am. I’m practicing not to tolerate that kind of attitude, however, it's hard to.
Imagine, I like to be happy but I keep thinking things that make me sad. I want to be with everyone and yet leave to let myself be alone. That’s why I consider myself paradoxical. One person but two personalities inside me. One wants to be happy and the other one wants to be sad. Just don’t understand me or know me better because I assure you that I won’t be a problem for you. I’m very cautious after all.
Thank you for reading
This was the successful distribution of school supplies at Anislagon Elementary School.
This was my previous post about asking for support for school supplies.
https://hive.blog/hive-188409/@mrnightmare89/project-school-supplies-3-details-and-expenses
https://peakd.com/hive-188409/@mrnightmare89/ydfzmyed
https://hive.blog/hive-125125/@mrnightmare89/anislagon-elementary-school-needs-support
I just did it on my own this time even though I did not receive support.
https://peakd.com/hive-101690/@mrnightmare89/fixing-the-basketball-ring-at
This was my first ever asking for support.
https://hive.blog/hive-174578/@mrnightmare89/project-basketball-ring-by-hive
This was my first sponsorship.
https://hive.blog/hive-174578/@mrnightmare89/sponsoring-first-day-of-flores-de-mayo
By the way, I am accepting hive/hbd in my store.
https://hive.blog/hive-167922/@mrnightmare89/hivehbd-will-be-accepted-in-my-store-and-future-plans
https://hive.blog/hive-176874/@mrnightmare89/project-school-supplies-2
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.
ABOUT ME
Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, you can tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine. Together, let's explore the world by broadening our thoughts. If you need a shoulder I can lean you mine and I hope I can lean yours. The world is fun when living is not being alone but with someone.
You can find me here: