Homeboy's; Regrets and Acceptance
There are so many things that I’m starting to regret. I thought I already knew this would happen and regretting will be no room for me. It’s funny how I was so sure of my decision back then. I was so proud of it that I laughed at those people who encouraged me back then. “I will be fine”, was my reply to them. I never thought this day would come, after many years. Why now?
Not sure why it comes to this, this is not me. I’m confident that I would never be down like this. My decision was perfect and I could tell it was going well. After too many challenges I overcame and many battles I won. Never in my wildest dreams that this day would come since before this happened I already planned this. However, something inside me is feeling unwell. The happiness I felt passed like a storm created a trace. I’m not sure what’s going on right now.
I want to free myself like a bird soaring in the sky. I want to color my everyday life like finding flowers in the wild. Now my life is starting to get boring being stuck in the house for a whole day and a whole week. I barely breathe the salty wind from the sea; The peaceful feeling from the ambience of nature. I want to stay outside at night while stargazing or just feel the night sky. A homeboy lifestyle is not fun, I just realized it now.
I should have accepted life in the city. I should have chosen the life of an office man where I can enjoy my whole day working with colleagues and strangers. I should have rejected my thoughts of staying near home. I’m just a failure because I always follow my heart but not my brain. That’s why I hate unstable emotions. It’s always arguing about what to do but it will end up following the feelings later.
Actually, there are so many “I Should Have” in my thoughts but I chose not to follow it. I’m afraid that I can’t enjoy life more because of stressing my life could be from working. I’m afraid that I will become old before I can be free to do things I want to do. I may be tied up inside the house because of my small business. There are times I rejected the earnings and followed the fun things to do.
Yeah, once in a while I feel sad and a little bit down because of being alone most of the time. Life is just like that, eventually, it passes and then a new kind of life comes. When time gets bad on that day, time will get good later or maybe right after. Life is just tricky, if we don't know how to play along with it we will end up anxious. All we need is to stick to the dreams we planned to achieve so we will not be discouraged in the long run.
Thank you for reading
This was the successful distribution of school supplies at Anislagon Elementary School.
This was my previous post about asking for support for school supplies.
https://hive.blog/hive-188409/@mrnightmare89/project-school-supplies-3-details-and-expenses
https://peakd.com/hive-188409/@mrnightmare89/ydfzmyed
https://hive.blog/hive-125125/@mrnightmare89/anislagon-elementary-school-needs-support
I just did it on my own this time even though I did not receive support.
https://peakd.com/hive-101690/@mrnightmare89/fixing-the-basketball-ring-at
This was my first ever asking for support.
https://hive.blog/hive-174578/@mrnightmare89/project-basketball-ring-by-hive
This was my first sponsorship.
https://hive.blog/hive-174578/@mrnightmare89/sponsoring-first-day-of-flores-de-mayo
By the way, I am accepting hive/hbd in my store.
https://hive.blog/hive-167922/@mrnightmare89/hivehbd-will-be-accepted-in-my-store-and-future-plans
https://hive.blog/hive-176874/@mrnightmare89/project-school-supplies-2
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fit in my article.
ABOUT ME
Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, you can tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine. Together, let's explore the world by broadening our thoughts. If you need a shoulder I can lean you mine and I hope I can lean yours. The world is fun when living is not being alone but with someone.
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