Art of Doing Nothing
Got the schedule ready on what to do on the weekends. A long list of pending tasks that will create serious trouble for me if they aren't done within the deadline. I know the risk, yet I get caught in the loop of doing nothing but pass the time.
Throughout the whole week, I stay engaged with my job stuff. Even though I must devote myself to my personal stuff after office hours, I get stuck in that loop. Okay, I might have justifications for those days that I was tired of the office chores, but I get no justifications for the weekends that I have spent almost doing nothing?
Maybe weekends are meant for taking rest? Fuc**ng hell, that's how I do persuade myself and kinda fuel the loop that's actually never breaks.
What do I do? Let's talk about the last two days that I spent at home, almost doing nothing worth mentioning. I planned a few things, kept office related stuffs aside, not on weekends. Made a plan to cover my academic syllabus, picked two extracurricular skills to proceed with to boost my skillsets. So three at my arsenal, right? Wont lie, made some progress on the academic end, but it doesn't justify the time I have spent. Like I might have spent half of the day, which could have been done within an hour or so, how? doing the actual work for little and procrastinating the whole time.
Yeah, I do get distracted with the tiniest stuff as well. You know, I was all alone at home, no source of external distraction. But what to say about others when my mind itself procrastinates without any external influences? How ironic it is!
To be honest, I tried my best, I sat at my table for work or study whatevere you say. Eyes on the screen, fingers on the keyboard, multiple times I did open the stuff for getting started, and all it takes is "open in a new tab" to explore this, this, and that, and here I go again, the loop of checking out unnessary stuffs and the actual flow state gets broken. Oh, the funny thing, to get past these, I started to read a research on keeping the flow state, it was by Azeria-labs, perhaps on "Mastering a new skill" along with a few more relevant stuff. I got to know about this work from one of my community seniors, who shared this while demonstrating his success and how it helped him to develop the art of having flow states for deep work. I started this, and it got lost as well. I feel like I am fighting a war with my procrastination part, and it get win every time, no matter how much heavy artillery of willpower I bring in, it somehow overpowers and wins me over.
Another funny thing is, I get serious on the nights before my office days. Like I have to attend the office after almost seven hours, now I am highly motivated again to break down all the shackles of procrastination and get into the flow state for some productive stuff. Isn't it a joke to me from myself? Thats how things have been going on.....