Like a Chameleon
"Chillaxing in trees is my happy place."
I took a stroll to a garden, a minute walk from where my boat was moored, and I spent a few hours sprawled out on the branches of this tree; Just like a chameleon.
I find trees enchanting and the perfect place for me to sit and tune out the cacophony of the world, especially when I feel a bit lost in the clouds and need to centre my thoughts.
Doing this is nothing new though. I recall retreating to the top of trees as a little girl, whenever I needed to be alone and uninterrupted, in my "comfort zone". Being there, I felt that the leaves in the trees were as happy to see me, as I was to be amongst them.
Growing up, I wanted to be so many things, and I was constantly changing. I displayed natural talents in many areas, and there were some things that I had a serious zest for.
Gymnastics and acrobatics were two things that tickled my fancy, and watching live performances at the stadium with my mum and two sisters gave me a real thrill. Tightrope walking was my favourite activity.
"Do not try doing that in the backyard," my mum always warned.
My mum had that cunning ability to read my mind. She knew all the tricks I had up my sleeve.
Of course, I intended to botch up a rope to two trees and try walking on it. My thoughts then were that I could start low so if I fell I would not hurt myself, and that I could heighten the rope as my skills improved.
I also wanted to be a fashion designer and a karate expert; I imagined myself (just like in the movies) karate kicking and doing flying sidekicks, beating up a gang, and walking away shrugging my shoulders without looking back. Did you have those visions too, or do you still do?
Well, I wanted to be able to do that to defend myself.
Whenever I voiced my desire to be one of those things, I was always told;
"Pick something mainstream, that you will get a job in.
"What do you have in mind?" I always asked.
"Like a nurse, a doctor, a teacher, you know a real profession like that.
I would ponder and reply, but I have no interest in doing any of those things.
"You need to pick one, or I will be a Jack of all trades and a master at none." Everyone teased.
I never took that phrase too seriously, and I always fired back with:
"How could I ever be Jack?"
Jokingly, I dubbed myself the Chameleon.
I was always left feeling confused.
I internalized it and tried to make sense of it, but I never came up with much.
However, I simplified my ambition to be Happy.... Happy became my default response, thereafter.
Throughout the years, I have dabbled in many different things and have been successful at many.
I am not a parent, but I wonder how different my life would be if my parents had different mindsets. Growing up children did not have a voice. I know that things and times have changed and the newer generation tries to identify their kids' natural skills and nurture and facilitate the requirements for kids to excel in doing the things that they display natural talents and skills for, which bring out the best in them and make them happy.
Like all skills, if you don't practice them, you might lose the sharpness and your ability will lessen. I am none of the things I wanted to be, but I don't dwell on any of them. They say it's better late than never, but I'm realistic and don't see myself ever becoming any of those things. However, my interest in any of those things has not waned. One thing for sure is that I do things and create a world around me that brings me happiness.
What are your views? Do you think children should be forced to be one-dimensional and focused on a specific curriculum, or should they be nurtured and given the chance to explore doing the things that they display natural talents and preferences for?
Here are a few scenes of greenery from Castle Gardens, where I spent my time reflecting on my days of feeling like a chameleon.
Thank you for reading, I hope these photos gave you calm. This surely was my oasis of serenity today.
Hi @millycf1976,
Thank you for participating in the #teamuk curated tag. We have upvoted your quality content.
For more information visit our discord https://discord.gg/8CVx2Am
Thanks for your continuous support @teamuk:)))
https://twitter.com/camilleforbush/status/1529285402493870083
The rewards earned on this comment will go directly to the people sharing the post on Twitter as long as they are registered with @poshtoken. Sign up at https://hiveposh.com.
It's too bad that the slack line wasn't around when you were a kid. Now you see them all over the place, tied between trees in pu lic parks with people walking them and doing tricks. That would have been perfect for you as a kid.
People have altered this phrase over the years
The original and full version is
Oh, a slackline would have been the answer to my problem. That's exactly what I had in mind about utilizing the big sturdy trees in my backyard.
Taking me to watch the tightrope acts was like taking me to a candy shop and telling me that I could not have any.
The funniest thing is that my parents knew then that it was something I could have had a fair chance at... However, like many things, parents pass their fears and limitations on to their kids.
Damn! I missed one for my sharp tongue then 😂
Thank you so much(((::))))
I appreciate it greatly 😊
Thank you @brumest and the @qurator team. I am pleased that you appreciate my work and I thank you for the support:))))
I think we should strive for that happy place in our kids. After all, isn't that what we all long for? It was in my parents' nature to make sure that their 9 kids had a plan, one that would take them into their retirement without a struggle. It was important to them as my grandparents lived through hard financial times. I guess it comes down to not wanting to see your kids struggle.
You have a more bohemian outlook, happiness, and calm. I'm with you on that. My parents? Not so much. :) They were all about security and comfort, although not in a bad way. We had a comfortable life and I am grateful.
Parents are more focused on happiness, although in trying to lean that way, they have confused happiness with letting children make decisions on where to eat, what to eat, and where to go. Hello? They still haven't got it right, Milly. Maybe there should be a manual and I think you should write it as you presented it in a perfect way.
I love trees and I spent my life with my six brothers climbing and finding that perfect place to dwell. I totally get it. Sounds like a perfect day!
Yes, that's very true.
Unfortunately, some parents also have selfish needs and are more focused on their children having a title that's relatable and impressive.
I think I have accepted and gained a better understanding of who I am and exposure has affirmed that all my ideas were not unrealistic, just not inside the box in which my parents navigated their lives.
I don't hold anything against my parents though, I see where they were coming from, and as you've said, there's no manual, so maybe they did what they knew, the best that they could.
I bet you wouldn't trade that for anything else, and that the skills that you gained are invaluable and made you a better person.
From the little that I read and know about you, seems you've lived an interesting life. I'm intrigued and impressed ❤️
Oh, we all have our downside. :))
You hit the nail on the head though. I think a lot of parents tend to live vicariously through their children. If they are successful, then the parents are. If they are a failure, it is their fault.
Spot on!! Funny and sad at the same time 😏
I know, right?
Yes, absolutely!
It must have been quite task for your parents though. I bet there's a real mix of personalities, dreams, and mindset amongst you and your siblings... But as you've said your grandmother's life was a mark to measure and a driving force to ensure that you were all elevated above her level 🙏🏾
Thank you for the support @thekittygirl and the @innerblocks team.
I appreciate this, always:)
Hi Milly!
I could stay under that tree for hours too. That could be my happy place :)
I think our generation didn't even need to be told expressly what they expected from us, I feel the pressure was there without words, hehe.
I have a son, who is about to graduate from high school, and from my experience and what I see around me, the new generations have it easier in this regard. The world has changed and conventional careers, jobs, or even lifestyles are not what is expected of anyone. At least that's my experience. For me, it is very important that my son does and is what he wants and that makes him happy. At the end of the day, it is his life. I just tell him to make sure that whatever he decides to do, he should do it well and that he should be happy with his choice.
Hey @coquicoin,
I like your approach to guiding your son. That's the way it should be indeed.
That's true actually when you really think about it😅
I'm sure your son feels the support, and knows that if he should change his mind that you would be supportive of him either way. I think it takes pressure off kids when parents have this approach.
Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate hearing your feedback, always :))))
Nowadays young people are under much less pressure in that sense. But on the other hand, they face other kinds of pressures because of the access to so much information and social media.
And it's always a pleasure to stop by, and exchange points of view.
Have a nice evening 🤗
!LUV
@coquicoin(1/1) gave you LUV.
H-E tools | discord | community | <>< daily
Yes, there are so many pros and cons.
Looking back, was SO naive about so many things when I was a youngster. There was no internet and a small parish library where everyone knows everybody, and my parents were well known, my dad a principal and my mum a teacher...so even if we wanted to borrow library books to read to explore different topics, there was always something to deter you.
I also see the struggle that the newer generation face with so much available on the internet, and peer pressure and influencers "influence".
I got caught up reading news lately, and if I had a teenage daughter, I would be sick fretting every time she left the house, likewise a son with all the petty gang crimes.
I wouldn't trade or want to relive my life in these times, so I embrace every day and make sure not to repeat old mistakes.
🙏
It is difficult now with so much information and as you say so call influencers. I have chosen to be quite open in communication with my son. There is always a line between being parents and friends, but the more communication the better. Let them feel free to talk about their anxieties, fears, and concerns. And also what calls their curiosity.
I was also very naive when I was a teenager, I started to open my eyes at university and yet everything was very different from today.
I fully agree :)
That's all I wish I had growing up. I could not speak to my mum about anything. Still cannot do it.
I never had any close friends either, and I have two sisters; all three of us are joust a year apart, but we were never close sisters to share secrets or discuss things with.
I'm always pleased to see mothers like yourself. Children and teenagers need to have this in their lives.
Kudos to you 👏
I have a good relationship with my mother but I don't talk to her about deep issues, hehe. The same with my sister. We are close because we get together frequently, but even though we are two years apart we never shared secrets and talk about our things, you know. And even though I had good friends while growing up and we are still friends, we never talk about our deep concerns at that time. So I enjoy the communication I have with my son a lot, of course sometimes we argue, and we don't always agree, but trust is there and that is so important.
Thank you😊😊
😊😍
Congratulations @millycf1976! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 6500 comments.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPSupport the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!
Thank you so much @hivebuzz. Yes, I have voted on your proposal :)
Sorry to say, but we don't see your proposal support. Didn't you vote on the proposal post instead?
Now I want to see a photo of you in that tree like a chameleon so that we can play "Where's Milly?" ;)
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a musician, singing and playing keyboards. Or a writer. Or an ice skater, every time the olympics rolled around! I tried to do what conventional wisdom told me I should do and was miserable and not successful. In the end I have published a novel, which is still the proudest thing I've ever done even though it's not well known. It also made me the happiest. And I am saving up for a keyboard. :) I took ice skating in college since it was an offered class and I LOVED it! I could have learned so much more if I had been allowed to take lessons or even just go to an ice rink, but I never stepped foot on one until that college class. My parents were definitely of the "it doesn't matter what the kid thinks" variety. Signing me up for swimming lessons twice even though I was petrifyingly phobic of water and had panic attacks, level of "don't care what the kid wants," so yeah. I can only imagine what it was like for a parent to actually try and figure out what the kid likes to do and supports that!
!LOLZ
lolztoken.com
They can really get inside your head.
Credit: reddit
@millycf1976, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of @phoenixwren
Use the !LOL or !LOLZ command to share a joke and an $LOLZ.
Delegate Hive Tokens to Farm $LOLZ and earn 110% Rewards. Learn more.
(1/1)
Hehehehe. Thank you:) lol!
Haha! I should have taken a picture of myself for real...I didn't because the park has many drunks sometimes, I chose the trees because I like the feel of the wood (not a good sound there 🙃) more than sitting on the chairs alone. When I'm in trees, I get a bird's eye view, and people really don't expect to see anyone there. I always look at big trees when I go by them. It's a strange fascination of mine.
I wanted to do tightrope walking so badly. I loved walking on high ledges anywhere I saw them. I enjoyed finding my balance and the focus required, and a rope would have been the ultimate challenge for me.
I do hope you get the chance to own a keyboard, even if it's a secondhand one. I have seen used keyboards in great condition here in the UK, but never took much note of the price, model, or anything like that. My mum loves keyboards too, and she always has one (don't think she can play it though).
Ice skating appeals to me too, but I think roller skating would be enough for me. I enjoyed doing it as a teenager.
You mentioned your book before. That's something to be proud of indeed:) I will refer back to one of your old blogs and look up the book.
I was the same with water. My mum and two sisters had to hold me down to wash my hair. It was not an easy task. At first they thought that I was being mischievous, then they realised I was really fearful, with panic attacks and my mum felt sorry for me. I hated the sea like you have no idea. I saw the waves as big monsters. We do get big waves especially on the South coast in Jamaica. My weekend was ruined whenever they went on beach picnics. I'm much better with water...still cannot swim, but I'll keep my head under the water for 10 seconds without a problem...In the Philippines, when I first moved to the resort, I would not go in the pool without holding someone's hand. A month later, I had an encounter with my REAL PHOBIA - a snake came in my flat. From that day, I went into the pool no problem. I did aqua aerobics every morning by myself for over an hour. Every time my husband saw me in the pool he marvelled because he knew it was a milestone achievement.
Are you better in the water now?
I'm with you on loving trees. My biggest b*tch about Denver is that there just aren't that many trees (we are, after all, naturally prairie).
The link to my book is at the top of my page here in my profile stuff! :)
I am better about water now - still not going to go swimming in the deep end, but in high school, I approached the swim teacher (because my high school had a pool), and asked her if I took swimming for gym class, but I couldn't swim laps like the other kids, would I fail the class? Because I thought if I just made myself get in the pool every day I might calm down about it. She said yeah, take the class, it'll be fine! Well that woman was A SAINT. There are two teachers for swim classes for safety, and so she spent more time with me than with the rest of the class (while the second teacher mostly dealt with everyone else). At the start I would only go in the most shallow part (3 feet) and clung to the wall. By the end of that semester, I had successfully swam half a lap before I panicked and grabbed the wall, I ventured into the middle of the pool, I could tread water for a handful of seconds, and she (and the other teacher, and my friend in class for moral support) got me to go in the deep end - clinging to the wall, completely crying my eyes out - but I did it! Willingly!! 😅
So yeah, I totally credit that teacher with ratcheting my water phobia down by about twenty thousand notches. Bless her. <3
My my! I find your story relatable. I was the same with clinging to the wall. I never had swimming at my school, but most kids grew up by the river and spent much time at sea, so I guess there was no need for a swimming pool.
Do you see how much difference a teacher with patience can make in your life? I'm happy that she took you under her wings.
I'm a lot more balanced and stable now, maybe I should give swimming a try next time I go to a pool...on the shallow end of course.
Oh, prairies are nice, but I love trees more:)
For sure. At the summer swim classes my mom signed me up for, I distinctly remember how the "teachers" were yelling at me and telling me to jump in the deep end on day one and telling me how they were going to get me in trouble with my mom for not doing well in class. I was like 6 or 7. Sure, terrorize an already terrified kid, that's a great teaching method. 😕
So WRONG! What a shame, heh?
I had some horrible teachers too. They were just in the wrong profession and needed tutoring themselves. I'm happy that other teacher gave you hope 🙏
Yes the photos did give me (even more) calm. I’m reading this in a very beautiful place. ☀️🙏🏽
I also had the kungfu aspirations, especially as a boy, and I needed those skills😂
I'm happy to hear that 😊
Haha! I still have those wishes; Don't you think everyone should be taught martial arts and self defense in schools?
I think so. It would help with discipline also.
Precisely!!! Martial arts is developing internal strength too:)
I think they should be nurtured to fulfil their passions AND be taught to have an open mind and resilience, so that they aren't too loaded up with one skill and none in others.
ABSOLUTELY! Resilience is what we need to survive in this tough world, and having an open mid helps indeed. That's a super valid point too about having broad (other) interests.
I have no doubt that you have done a fantastic job with your son :))))
He's a legend. Funny though, he worked his ass off at school to get near perfect results and everyone thought he'd do medicine or law. He was not interested in either and hated first year uni doing arts, so quit, and did sound engineering. I was like, great, you should follow your passion. He had in in his head I WANTED Him to do this or that when all I wanted was for him to be happy and follow his passions. I think it was coz of his nature, wanting to please. Then the industry tanked coz COVID and he's workinv as a pub manager and about to have a baby. He doesn't give a shit about money, well, not to be rich. He'd be a house husband if he could. I hope he can lol. I don't know, it's hard. I want him to be fulfilled and happy, I suppose. But that's his journey now.
You have the right mindset!
Kudos to you, and I'm sure he'll excel at whatever he does:)))
Hi friend
You had great capture
Like they green color
Love ti be in Nature too
Greetings @millycf1976
Hey @wendyth16,
😊 Thank you very much for stopping by :-)))