The Incessant Question: What am I doing wrong?😫🥺 [ESP-ENG]

Convertirme en madre aunque suene a cliché ha sido lo mejor que me ha pasado, no cambiaria ni un solo dia desde que tengo a mis peques conmigo, aunque el estres a veces me gane, y en medio de uno u otro grito sienta que necesito un respiro, al final los miro, y siempre agradezco por tenerlos conmigo, pero a medida que crecen me cuestiono mas y mas, si lo estoy haciendo realmente bien? Y a veces me encuentro con que me parezco a mi madre en algunas cosas, y a pesar de que la AMO, no quiero ser como ella en ciertos aspectos.

Becoming a mother although it sounds like a cliché has been the best thing that has happened to me, I would not change a single day since I have my kids with me, although the stress sometimes wins me, and in the middle of one or another scream I feel I need a break, in the end I look at them, and I am always grateful to have them with me, but as they grow I question more and more, if I am really doing it right? And sometimes I find that I am like my mother in some ways, and even though I LOVE her, I don't want to be like her in some ways.

Y a veces la entiendo, quizas mi hermano y yo la teniamos loca 😂 asi como Ema y Chris me tienen a mi jeje, no me gusta ser la mamá regañona y hasta aburrida me ha dicho mi hijo, porque no siempre puedo jugar, vivo de aqui para alla, entre la casa, la comida, la ropa, los clientes, mi trabajo aparte, hasta escribir aca, todo lleva su tiempo y ultimamente cada vez que me dice para jugar estoy en alguna cosa, hasta que hace 2 dias me dijo que soy aburrida, y claro, porque aunque mi esposo si me ayuda, y mucho, bueno me ayuda no, cumple su parte como papá!! El siempre tiene mas tiempo, y para el es mas divertido :(

And sometimes I understand her, maybe my brother and I had her crazy 😂 just like Ema and Chris have me hehe, I don't like being the nagging and even boring mom my son has told me, because I can't always play, I live from here to there, between the house, the food, the clothes, the clients, my work aside, even writing here, everything takes time and lately every time he tells me to play I'm doing something, until 2 days ago he told me I'm boring, and of course, because although my husband helps me, and a lot, well he doesn't help me, he does his part as a dad! ! He always has more time, and for him it's more fun :(

Y mamá regaña mas, porque mamá no quiere a un niño malcriado y desobediente, papá es mas flexible, aunque intente hacer parecer lo contrario! Entonces me pregunto, ¿Como hago para calmarne y no recurrir a un grito ante un ataque de rebeldia de Chris por ejemplo? Que aunque es un niño muy dulce, en los ultimos dias esta super rebelde, no se queda callado nunca cuando se le regaña, para todp es una respuesta, habla feo, me mira feo, y aunque a los minutos este como si nada, yo no quiero que eso pase, porque si lo dejo pasar voy a criar a la copia de mi hermano, y de ese lo unico que quiero que tenga es la sangre, que por cierto me debo un post en catarsis con eso!! Pero bueno, no quiero que sea un niño de mal caracter, y quizas no he optado por las mejores formas de "castigarlo" ¿Le hara falta lo que llaman mano dura? No se :(

And mom scolds more, because mom doesn't want a spoiled and disobedient child, dad is more flexible, even if he tries to make it seem otherwise! So I ask myself, how do I calm myself down and not resort to a scream when Chris, for example, is rebellious? Although he is a very sweet boy, in the last few days he is super rebellious, he never keeps quiet when he is scolded, for everything is an answer, he talks ugly, he looks at me ugly, and although a few minutes later he is like nothing, I do not want that to happen, because if I let it happen I will raise a copy of my brother, and the only thing I want him to have is the blood, which by the way I owe myself a post in catharsis with that! But well, I don't want him to be a child with a bad character, and maybe I haven't chosen the best ways to "punish him". Will he need what they call "hard hand"? I don't know :(

Por otra parte Ema es otra cosa, aun esta chiquita pero con solo 1 año agarra unos berrinches de padre y señor nuestro, asi que quiero estar preparada mentalmente en que hacer, porque sino entre los dos se agarraran de los moños😂 ambos con un caracter hiper fuerte, pero asi como quiero ponerles caracter y que se porten bien, no quiero ser la tipica mamá regañona y aburrida, asi que sinceramente me encuentro siempre entre ser y no ser.

On the other hand, Ema is another thing, she is still a little girl but at only 1 year old she throws tantrums, so I want to be mentally prepared on what to do, because if not, they both will get on each other's nerves😂 both with a hyper strong character, but as much as I want to give them character and make them behave well, I don't want to be the typical scolding and boring mom, so honestly I always find myself between being and not being.

Pero de lo que si estoy segura es que quiero que mis hijos sean super seguros, y se que a punta de regaños, gritos no ayudare mucho con eso, asi que definitivamente debo mejorar muchas cosas. Tener un hijo es muy facil, CRIAR UN HIJO es lo realmente retador.

But what I am sure of is that I want my children to be super secure, and I know that with nagging and yelling I won't help much with that, so I definitely have to improve a lot of things. Having a child is very easy, RAISING A CHILD is what is really challenging.

Por aca recibo con mucho cariño alguna recomendación de alguna mamita como yo…

Here I receive with much affection any recommendation from a mommy like me...

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All photos are my property