Thoughts on A Rainy Day

Gloomy. That's the weather I woke up to today. I guess that the sky acclimates itself to what I was feeling this past few days. Or was it the other way around? Am I that fragile that I am affected by the clouds above my head or am I that special that the heavens sympathize with my chest? I find that the latter seems to be unlikely so once again, I feel how insignificant and vulnerable my being is.

Grey. Just like the sky, I think that is the color to describe my current state of mind. It's not bright, it's not even dark, it's just meh. It's just bland, it's just...Grey. What do you think about that color? Doesn't it look cool though? It's just somewhere in the middle, I think if I can color my personality it would be just that. Somewhere in the middle. Not right in the middle though, that's a dangerous place to be, just somewhere around it.

Exasperation. Is that what I am feeling? About what though? About this whole situation that the world is in? Maybe, but if I may say so, I think that I am just tired, exhausted, and spent. There's nothing more I could do about it but wait for everything to settle and calm down. And in the meantime, I should try too as well. I'm really not annoyed, irritated, or anything really. If anything, I think that I have become numb and indifferent to things that matter.

Raindrops. I watched them fall and flow on the windshield of my car as I was driving myself to work. It was kind of risky but I did not even use my wipers when the rain started, I just wanted to see how the droplets climb up that looking glass unto the top roof of the car. It feels like everything is backward, why are they floating up? And why is that car in front of me so uncomfortably close, oh well that's my bad. I'm sorry bro.

Emptiness. There's this emptiness I feel for the last couple of days. Not in my heart, but in my mind. I have nothing in my mind really. Well technically, I do have a lot in my mind, but nothing significant or of importance. They are all just fleeting electrical currents that I tend to forget as soon as I drink a glass of water. And believe me, I drink a lot of water.

Rehydration. That just came to my mind as I was talking about water. For the body, it's easy to recuperate and rejuvenate when it comes to dehydration from water. Just take that banana in, and lots of fluid, and you'll be good in no time. But what should we do when our motivation becomes depleted to the point of dehydration due to demotivation?

Demotivation. That sounds about right. But is that even a word? My word processor didn't turn red, I guess it's something. It sounds fancy too. Maybe it's just a fancy way to say that I am lazy, lack enthusiasm, and succumb to procrastination.

Reconnection. I think this is a way to combat dehydration due to motivation. Find a way to reconnect with your dreams, your goals, and with people who matter. Reconnect with your family and friends. Reconnect with the things that you were working towards in the first place. Close your eyes. Think of what you would like to do, what to have, or what you would be doing some years from now. What do you see?

Future. Do you like what you see? Does it seem real to you? Do you know how to get there? Well, the first step is to move, you can't get there without moving, unless you see yourself in the streets, with no clothes on, no food to eat, and on the brink of death. The future is ours, it has always been, and it will always be, ours to work for.

Money. Obviously, it's the way to get to a better future. It's always been the issue for most of us. When was it not the issue? Sometimes, in my wildest imagination, I want to give in to my greed and stuff myself with riches I could never count, I could never spend. How would I like to have a huge supply of money? I would certainly love that. It would solve a lot of the current problems.

Worries. I guess it's natural to have them. It's only human to worry about things that we can't even control. But I'm grateful that what I have are just common and manageable. I could not worry very much even if I wanted to. Because I know, that there's a greater power that will aid me in sorting everything out.

Murphy's Law. But this one is interesting though. It states that "everything that can go wrong will go wrong". Such a chaotic law, such a devastating thought. I sort of believe that too, it may seem contrary to my previous sentences but get this, not everything can go wrong though. So not everything will go wrong.

Just like this salted bread (pandesal) and a cup of coffee, this pairing could never go wrong, hence it will never be wrong. Do you get my drift?

Apologies. This is what I would like to offer to folks triggered by the positivity that may be deemed toxic by others which are enveloped in this whimsical and nonsensical article. I'm sorry that you feel that way, I know things may not be okay for some time, and heck they may even stay that way for a long time, no one knows if it's going to be okay but who knows, maybe they get a little better.

Toxic positivity. That's fascinating. That's new, at least for me, but I guess it's real and it's a thing.