Crypto Issues, Physical Breakdown and Dealing With Worrying
I think I just have to accept that I take rather long breaks from here from time to time. After all, when something is online, it's just easy to let go of when things in your 'real' life take over. But as I always write, I keep coming back for all of the inspiration I find here on Hive.
It's been rather intense lately, in many ways. Emotional turbulence, a physical breakdown, frustration, exhaustion, and the feeling of being so disconnected from the place where I'm living.
Most people here don't even understand what I'm talking about. My mom really tries, she really does her best to follow me and I feel she gets me somehow. She actually had a realization about a year ago when I helped her to buy bitcoin and her credit card was declined. When I called her bank they simply said that they would never support anyone who tried to buy crypto. This wasn't news to me since I know most banks here have this approach. But she was upset and didn't understand that they could do something like that. It was her money and she felt she should be able to spend it in any way she liked. I then explained to her that a bank can do as they please. They can decide what kind of transactions to accept or not. I think something clicked for her then, everything I had been talking about. (I found another way for her to buy bitcoin since the bank also refused a foreign bank transfer).
I actually haven't had any issues with my Swedish credit card, up until now. From April 1st it will not be allowed to use the card to buy crypto.
The taxation on crypto here is also a nightmare. Basically, they almost make it impossible to make any money from crypto.
But this wasn't what I planned to write about. Just some frustration that felt good to express 🙂
Some weeks ago I started to feel more and more out of balance physically. I felt nauseous, had no appetite, had such difficulty eating, and couldn't really sleep much. My body was so stressed out. I also had a pressure in my chest and heart. And of course I felt completely exhausted. So well, not much to do. I had to call in sick and do my best to restore some balance. After a week or so I started to feel better but not great. But after having rested for 2 weeks I started working again this week.
It's really been a struggle for me over the last year or so to eat enough. I tend to lose weight easily and I really have to make an effort for that not to happen. Sometimes I walk around in the grocery store for a long time. Searching for something that I feel like eating. But I mostly come back empty-handed. (Or I buy something but I kind of have to force-feed myself).
But the good news is that I have been eating fermented foods more or less every day for I guess over a month and it has really helped with my 'usual' digestive issues. It's really such an improvement. It really feels too good to be true.
Something I struggle with a lot lately is worrying. I worry so much, sometimes it feels like it's out of control. It's like my brain constantly has to worry about something. It's so bizarre. But luckily I'm able to catch myself most of the time (yes I have done some work on this). And something that also has helped me is that I actually allow myself to worry as much as I want about a particular thing for a limited time and then I let it go. Depending on the 'thing' I decide maybe 1 hour, 1 day, or 1 week. But setting a time limit helps. I actually also read that this is a recommended strategy (I didn't know this, I figured it out myself). And yes, it's interesting also to sometimes revisit memories from like over 20 years ago and start worrying about something from way back. I don't know what my brain is up to but clearly a lot is going on 🙂
Oh man, this is not a very balanced picture of everything that has been going on lately. I'm doing ok, just to let you know 🙂
I actually have a lot of things I would like to share here but clearly I need to save it for another post. I was staring at the ceiling a lot when I was completely exhausted and I had some realizations. And I'm proud of myself for not having activated my Netflix subscription again. I never want to go back to binging Netflix. It's just such a good practice to stay bored. Interesting things tend to happen if you stay bored long enough.
Thanks for reading 🌸
Love and blessings to you all 💚
OH darling, sorry to hear you've been having a tough one. I know what you mean about saying stuff here too and then next minute you're fine. Life DOES go up and down, doesn't it? I'm sorry you're worrying so much about things but I'm glad you've got some management strategies in place to deal with that as well. And wow - am SO glad that fermented foods are making a difference - maybe it's just about rebuilding yoru gut biome over time? And if you can do that, I wonder if that'll affect your mental health as well?
Hi 🙂 I'm so glad you saw this. Yes for sure, life goes up and down but I can't say I feel very optimistic at the moment. I guess it just frustrates me so much that I'm more or less stuck here in Stockholm. I'm trying to move forward with the plans to sell my flat but there's still so much to fix here. That was what I started before my breakdown. It's like I can't do anything more than the bare minimum, it's just a challenge. It would be easier of course if I had someone who could help me with my flat but well, that's not the case. But I just have to accept that things take longer than I wish.
Yes I hope so 🙂 Even though I experienced my first setback since I started with this yesterday. I hope it'll not last so long. But I'll continue with fermented foods, it can't hurt.
But it's not all dark and gloomy here. I really enjoy belly dancing and yesterday a new yoga course started at my favorite yoga school here.
I hope you are well. I'll do my best to catch up here 🙂
xx
You can always contact me on Insta if you need to chat or want to share your post link, I hate missing your posts.
Yay for belly dancing and yoga to wiggle the life stuff out!!! Xx
Thank you ❤️
You can always use sites like HODLHODL,localbitcoins, paxful and bisq to buy non-kyc bitcoin so no need for cards you just transferring money to a seller and they send you the bitcoin on chain
It’s a great way to buy bitcoin that can be kept off the books be that for privacy or tax purposes. It’s even better if you do it with a coin join or a submarine swap to break any ties with your personal data like your bank account and that bitcoin UXTO you own
Personally I am counting on them becoming tighter on bitcoin and shutting things down so I take all the steps i can to make sure I am protected
I’m sorry to hear you’re having these overwhelming feelings I know it can be daunting at times and no ones advice can really make much of a difference in fact it can be quite annoying so I won’t even try lol
As for Netflix oh there is so much temptation for me it would be chocolate that I would lean on but I,ve cleaned up my act otherwise with no more junk food in 6 months and watering cleaner and regular fasting and it’s really made me feel better can’t say it’s a silver bullet but for me it worked
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Yes, I'm aware there are other ways to buy bitcoin. I haven't really gone down that route yet though, let's see what happens. I do my best to report everything to the tax authorities, it just doesn't feel right to me to avoid taxation. I have already made quite a U-turn considering I used to work at the Ministry of Finance. But let's see how things develop.
At the moment I'm not so reliant on fiat on-ramps since I hold more in stable coins. I also have a German bank account and the situation there is more crypto-friendly. But maybe you are right and it'll be difficult to invest in crypto and at the same time be compliant with the regulations.
Haha, thanks. I don't feel that way everyday 🙂 It's just when your physical health is poor usually it also affects your mental health. And they just reinforce each other.
It's not all bad. I can indulge in any food really because I want to gain weight. But at the same time, I want to eat healthily so well, I just listen to what my body wants but unfortunately often it's just such a resistance to eat. It can take me over an hour to finish a meal.
Sounds great with no junk food in 6 months, I'm sure that must have made a difference. I also fast from time to time but it's hard when it's still cold outside.
I’m with you on the mental health side of this all! I’ve been incredibly stressed of late for a few reasons, mainly where the world is headed with people blindly following without a second thought and what that’s going to mean for people who prefer to take a step back and analyze before reacting or saying anything. Too much polarization!
Pretty shitty on the bank but I’ve had similar issues myself. I could buy crypto with our credit card for a while and I would prefer to do that so I could earn points on the purchase in the end. Then the bank stopped that and I’ve now had to use a different more direct approach that I don’t like but sticking with it for now anyway. I’m hoping to get to where I need to be before they fight harder to prevent people from buying things like bitcoin. Hoping that another 12 months or so should get me there but you never know..
Glad you’re eating! It’s a tricky battle for some I know that. I’ve got a friend I knew who had issues like that and she would lose weight easily and fight to get it back every so often.
Yes, thinking about what's going on in the world can be very stressful. I do my best not to get so caught up in it.
That sounds great with a 12 months timeframe. I guess I still hesitate a bit to go all-in on crypto but now might be the time before it's too late.
Thank you for understanding the challenges that come with trying to gain weight. It's a new experience for sure.