Unveiling the Marriage Lists: Tradition and Expectations for a Nigerian Wedding

I recently wrote a post about my sister's wedding introduction and how we had to go get the marriage list for the bride!

"A piece of paper..how hard could it have been to get?" So I reasoned after my mom said it might be difficult to get the marriage list for my sister.

Ok I was ready to go with her, she said she could only get the list if we go to the village where my father was born, since my father is no more, my mom has to get it herself and she has to deal with my father's relatives in the village.

The first day we went there, she met an old woman who is also a relative somehow and she directed my mom on the main person to meet. Then we had to go back another day because he wasn't around.

The day we finally got him, he said my mom first has to go see my father's first wife, since my mom was the second (Polygamous marriage).

Hmmm, I knew this would be another issue because my Stepmom seems not to like us since the beginning. So I don't know how she's going to agree to help us.
My mom went for it though since she was ready to do anything for my sister, and my Stepmom is the one who can help us get the list faster

Well we called her on phone, she said "what do we want?", My mom said she wants to meet hee in person so they discuss, but she told my mom that she's not going to be home anytime soon.
My mom knew it's just a game so she decided to go back very early in the morning and it worked, she met her. To cut the long story short, she refused to bring the list for us 😐, as expected!

My mom went back to the old lady then she promised to bring the list herself for my mom, we were to come the next day to get it

But she could only get the list for the women for us!
List for women?, My mom answered this question by saying there are 3 lists that we need for this marriage to be done.

List for the women, list for men, list for the girl's father...

Finally we got all the lists we needed!

The first and most important according to them is the father's list:

What's in the list?

• One he-goat
• Two crates of beer
• Two crates of malt
• Four Alligator pepper
• Four kolanuts
• One cup of gun powder
• One bottle of hot drink
• Ten litres of Tombo (a Native wine)
• Four old coins
• 1 piece of george
• Cash - N40,000

All these are needed for a ritual to appease the father (who is dead), so that he'll bless the marriage.
For me I don't believe in these things, but that's what they have to do. They believe that bad luck may follow the marriage if it is not done, either the girl will never be able to bare children or the marriage will be broken if this is not done.

I hope to show you how this ritual will be performed soon.

Moving on to the second list: The list for community Men

What's in the list?

• Opening of table - N6000 cash, 8 kolanut, 1 Alligator pepper, 1 bottle of whiskey cream, 4 gallons of native wine

• Opening remark - 1 bottle of whiskey+ N4000

• Ngwagbu nmanyi (an amount of money put into the cup of drink that the wife will present to the husband)

• Icho nmanyi (money for the effort used in bringing the wine)

• Ego Amala (Money for tradition)

• 2 cartons of small stout

• 2 cartons of star beer

• 2 cartons of malt

• 2 cartons of gulder

• 2 crates of soft drinks

• 1 bottle of seamans schnapp

• 1 big He-goat

• 1 roll of cigerates

• 1 roll of matches

• 1 bottle of smuff

• Tobacco leaves potash

• Ego umuokorobia (Money for young men) - N10,000
  1 bottle of hot drink
  Carton of beer

Stuffs required from the father in-law

1 bottle of whiskey cream
Chieftaincy wrapper (Fabric)
Walking stick
Red cap
Matchet with cover
Shoe and handwatch

Brideprice is determined by the father

• Ina nmanyi (wine collection) - 1 bottle of St remy and N5000.00

Well that is the end of the list for the men. There is really a lot there isn't it! I was as surprised as you are hehe.

Well the next list is even more longer than the ones you've just read...the list for the women!

List for community women

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As you see in the above list there are up to 37 items that are listed there. The groom has to get everything for the wedding to be approved and for there not to be problems.

Getting everything he's required to get will mean that the groom can take good care of the bride and everything she needs, also the community will know that there daughter is in safe hands.

For me I don't even think they need everything in that list. What if the guy cannot afford everything?..well according to the tradition it will mean that he's not ready for marriage yet! He should try next time...lol!

That's all about the marriage list! After we have gotten the list, my mom has to go hand it to the groom family and they'll get back to her, if they still have interest in the marriage after all these requirements!

This is the point where we are all kept in suspense, waiting for their response. Hmm I hope it is positive one. I hope to complete this gist to the point of church wedding where my sister will be on white gown and her husband on whatever color suit hehe! And let's see what role I play in the wedding.

🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼🌺🌼

Hopefully the next gist i'll write about this will be when the first ritual is performed, that is..what you see in the first list. For now let's wait to see the groom's family's response after getting the list!

At least you now have idea of what marrying a Nigerian girl looks like, this is just for one culture in the igbo tribe, there are a lot of cultural diversities in Nigeria, some cultures even require more things than you seen on the lists in this post.😂

Read about the marriage introduction:
Finally a "Knock at our Door" Marriage Traditions

See you in another post 🤗