Was Once A Lolo's Little Girl

avatar
(Edited)

20200412_085746_1.jpg

I am Lola's girl, but before that, I was Lolo's little girl, to begin with. I lived with my grandparents on my mother's side because my Mom was taking teaching units at that time, and my father was working in Zamboanga. I call my Lola, Nana, and my Lolo, Tata. It was supposed to be Nanay and Tatay, but I was a lazy kid who kept calling them Nana and Tata.



MY FIRST KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR


Honestly, I almost forgot my Tata's face because I was still six when he passed away, but I will never forget the days when he was my shield and protector.

I was one of the boys and was always with them from morning until afternoon. I was a naughty kiddo who loved to tease her grandpa. When I heard him shouting my name to go home already, I would run away from him instead of going home right away. I didn't know he was sick, but he loved to chase me around. I only knew he was always at home sitting by the window.

photo_2022-11-13_15-54-05.jpg The only picture I have of my Tata. I asked my Nana to give me one so I can remember Tata's face.

If my Mama and Nana were mad at me, I would always go to my Tata in tears (some were crocodile tears), and he would scold them for scolding me. I was a spoiled granddaughter, his first grandchild from his only child.

The bubbly spoiled granddaughter of Tata

Papa was assigned to Zamboanga del Norte. At that time, my mother finished her teaching units, so we lived there for more than a month. Siraway was a very secluded area, and communication was through letters. The fastest way to communicate was through military communication.

As a six-year-old child, almost everything was hazy. When we went back home, my Tata was no longer sitting by the window. He was in a white rectangular box with flowers and vertical lamps around. People were always at our house from morning to evening. I remember asking them why Tata is not waking up even when I call him. I didn't want him to wake up, and he wouldn't see first his spoiled Keen-Keen, so I always slept under the coffin. I didn't cry because, in my mind, he was tired and was sleeping soundly amid the loud noises.

At the church, I was staring at my Tata, and when they were about to close it, I got worried and cried so loud. I threw tantrums. I didn't want them to close the coffin. Mama explained that Tata will be in heaven watching over me as my guardian angel. I didn't want that - it meant I can't be seeing him again. But Tata had to leave, and I had my one last sight with my Tata in tears. I no longer had a protector and a Tata who would chase me around.



MY SWEET OLD MAN


My Lolo Panyong, but my sisters and I prefer to call him Lolo Onyong.

Because my Tata passed away too soon, I've been asking my father about my other grandparents. I grew up not seeing them even once, and the same for them. Unfortunately, my Lola Waling died before my sister and I could visit. I had to beg my father if I could go with him. I was 17 years old at that time. Going to Baganian from Kauswagan, Lanao del Norte was a hassle.

It was a last-minute decision. I always fell asleep during travel, and we only had a motorcycle. My father had to tie me with a rope around his waist and put a box behind me so I won't fall. I slept for the 8-hour-long travel. When I woke up, I saw this old man in tears with a big smile. He helped father untie the rope and was laughing while doing so. He was amazed at how I was able to sleep despite the rope and the rocky road.


We taught him how to finger heart. Our first and last picture with us, his granddaughters of his favorite Loloy, my Papa.


I've been craving a grandfather's love since the passing of Tata, so I was a clingy grandchild to Lolo Onyong. I always hug, kiss, and crack some jokes with him. He would say, "Kabugay nalang nimu jud, Keen (You're so playful, Keen.)" Since my sisters were left at home, they wrote a letter for him, and he cried while reading it. So I promised him that next visit, we will be complete.

I was in college, and the sem break was not in the vocabulary in the engineering department. The second in the pack was in college as well. It took us five years to visit him again. I was not the only one clingy, my sisters were, too. Our stay at that time was for a week only, but there was never a dull moment with Lolo. He always bought fish that we never tried eating before. Whenever we requested to go from the mountain to the beaches, he was always on the go. Even though he's in his 80s, he walked fast and would tease me about how I always pant with just a few-minute walk. Since it was his first time seeing us complete, it was also his first time hearing us calling names. And he can't help but laugh at it.

I am Waling - Papa's mother (Lola).
The second is Panyang - Papa's grandmother.
The third is Onyong - Papa's papa (Lolo).
The youngest is Oming - Papa's grandfather.

After three years, I went back to Baganian again. The project at the university ended, and I was jobless already. Instead of waiting for another project to work on, I decided to help in the opening of our bakery and manage it for a month before flying to Cebu to grab my license.

1998CAM_2019_08_22_13_24_35.jpg

The third in the pack had an exam, so she wasn't able to go with us.

My month-long stay in Baganian was all worth it. It was a joy to my heart that I was able to prepare a hot chocolate drink for Lolo and serve it with bread. I was able to call him for lunch, snacks, and dinner. One month was short, but we were able to create memories together. I love how he easily laughed at my jokes and would always say, I'm his bugay but langi na apo (naughty but sweet grandchild). I even told him that when I come back, he will have an engineer granddaughter and must prepare a feast for me.

Unfortunately, COVID happened. Two weeks before the board exam, PRC announced the postponement. I was stranded in Cebu City. After more than two years of waiting, the board exam was pushed through, but sadly...Lolo passed away two months before the board exam results. I was shattered. I didn't know how to stand up again. I was not ready to say goodbye and not see him again.

Papa and Lolo had to travel for more than 30 minutes to reach the area with a signal so we can video call together.

The delta variant was rampant - I had no chance of seeing him for one last time. Even if I took the RT-PCR, I was still a possible COVID-19 carrier. Plus I will miss my class and be absent from work for a week. I can file a leave of absence at work, but I will be missing out on the lessons in review, which I find difficult to process, and Baganian has no mobile signal or WiFi. It was a tough decision, so I asked for advice from one of the instructors.

It was the lowest point of my life. I was heartbroken (I still am) and couldn't even enjoy my birthday. I cried my heart out for days. I tried so hard to rewire my brain and prayed for strength and courage to go on. My motivation to go back to my hometown and Baganian with a license was stronger than before. So when the result was out, I screamed and bawled at the coffee shop.

photo_2022-11-13_16-20-22.jpg
My promise to him

I waited for 3 months to claim my PRC ID. After 3 years, I was back in Baganian again to show Lolo Onyong the license I promised him. It is odd and difficult for me to visit Baganian without my sweet old man with his teary eyes and a big smile. I am still hurting, but I mustered the courage to go to the cemetery, and I took a photo of Lolo with my license. I know he is proud of me.

Despite being together for a very short time, the moments we shared with my Tata and Lolo will always be with me, forever carved in my heart and mind, even when I'm old and grey. I'm still lucky enough to experience how it is to be loved by them.

I miss you two. Hope I make you proud.
Until next time, Tata and Lolo.
I love you always and forever.

Your bugay na apo,
Keen-Keen



2.kneelyrac.png

K N E E L Y R A C
InstagramTwitterGoodreads



0
0
0.000
31 comments
avatar

That's just 🥺, I love how sweet you are to them. Talagang pinaparamdam mo yong love mo for them. Halata naman na you are a loving daughter. Sayang lang at ang aga talaga nilang nawala.

Pero grabi, mej ntawa ako dun sa tinakian ka para di ka mahulog sa byahe. Oo nga naman pano ka nakaka tulog ng ganon ee tas motor pa sasakyan 😅

0
0
0.000
avatar

Oo, nakakapanghinayang talaga na they are gone too soon. :(

Tulog mantika talaga ako basta nasa byahe. Noong pauwi na kami, dun ko lang nalaman very rocky road talaga ang daan for 1.5 hrs na byahe. Kaya pala tawang tawa Lolo ko. 😅 nakatulog na ako noong cementado na yung daan.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Me too I am lolo's boy for I learned a lot from my grandfather. I am not that close to my father so I looked for others. My Lolo was the one who gives me adventure actually as he gives me time to explore things in farm, Swam in the river and experience the childhood in the rice field. Covid 19 was tough and a lot of stories was made, still they lived inside our hearts too, my lolo was now 78 still strong..

0
0
0.000
avatar

The love of grandparents is really different. You're lucky that you grew up with your Lolo, and he's strong until now. 🙏

0
0
0.000
avatar

I became emotional and this blog had a strong sense of love and longingness. Though I am not a lolo's boy since I prefer to stay away with them, but I cannot hide the fact that grandparents love and care is best. I cannot hold back my tears when you get your PRC ID and presented it to your lolo's grave. Such love! Even if your lolo is not here anymore, but I'm pretty sure that wherever he is, his soul is with Him. !PIZZA

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thanks, Denn. ❤
It was too hard for me to write this blog. It took me a long while to start and finish writing because I kept on crying. And when I was looking for the pictures, I was sobbing. Haaays. But I'm still lucky parin to have my Nana.

0
0
0.000
avatar

What a heartfelt post. Condolences, Engineer, and to the whole family. This post made me know you from a different angle.

I know you are a good person, a good granddaughter. They may not be with us forever but their memories will always be in our hearts forever. ❤️🙏

0
0
0.000
avatar

Thank you! 💗
Writing this blog made me smile and cry at the same time. I cherish the memories we shared, but, sadly, it ended too soon.
And yes, the memories will always be in our hearts. 💗

0
0
0.000
avatar

Gosh, sorry I have to stop on the rectangular box. I always get emotional basta grandparents. Hmmm, I know for sure he is guiding you always, Kneel!

0
0
0.000
avatar

Iba kasi talaga pag grandparents.
Hays, naluluha na naman ako.
But thank you, Ji. ❤

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

That was just so heartbreaking!

Personally, I'm a distant and cold person. When my grandparents died, I shed no tears, but I remember them dearly indside.

In Dec 2019, I had my month-long vacation in my hometown and a week before I left to work in January 2020, my grandpa died. We were close as a family. I was very sad inside though not showing any emotions. In January 2021, I resigned from my job to go back to my hometown. After my two-week quarantines, I went to the cemetery to 'talk' to him. He was my inspiration and the man I look up as an ideal role model. He was a good child of his parents, good brother to his siblings, good husband to his wife, a good father to his children, a good granpa to his grandchildren, and a good friend to his fellows. He was industrious and caring, he was all that I envision myself to be as a grown man. In my works, I keep myself inspired of life even through the difficulties because of him.

Your story was heartfelt, it moved me and made me remember my Lolo Titing, in a happy way.

Hoping for your healing, you are a good granchild, they are happy for you.

Thank you, see you around Hive!

@oniemaniego from the HiveHealth Team

0
0
0.000
avatar

You have a wonderful and good grandpa. He is not around already, but his legacy will always remain.

Thank you for sharing a bit of your story with your Lolo. You may be distant, but I can sense that you are not that cold person. 🙂

Thank you for your kind words, as well. I still have something to work out, especially on the acceptance part. But I will get there soon. 🙂❤

0
0
0.000
avatar

Wahh! I was just reminded about my late grandmothers. Kakamiss yung pag-aalaga nila sa'kin. I know your Tata is very proud kung ano man ang narating mo so far Ma'am @kneelyrac. Kahit hindi na natin sila kasama dito, mananatiling sariwa yung mga magagandang alaala na iniwan nila sa'tin. Aguyy, parang maiiyak na ata ako ha. 🥺

0
0
0.000
avatar

For sure super proud sila sayo carr! Huhu naiyak ako at the same nainggit di ko naranasan yung may lolong ganyan 🥺

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hayys... ang sikip ng dibdib ko lalu na yung natulog ka sa ilalim ng kabaong tapos yung umiyak ka when they are about to close it. My younger sister did the same when our father died, grabe yung iyak nya but she's not a child like you. Iba din ang reason nya for crying.

Peru grabe ka ha nakakatulog ka sa byahe kahit sa motorcycle. Ako di ko talaga kaya matulog kahit sa bus pa hehehe..

0
0
0.000
avatar

Pasensya natagalan sa pagreply. Pero oo, madali akong makatulog pagnagbabyahe. Hehe nakailang beses na ako napunta sa kabilang barangay kasi napasarap sa tulog sa bus.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Talaga ibang talent din yan ako kahit anong antok ko di talaga makatulog, yung isip ko nag iisip baka ano mangyari sa daan hehehe

0
0
0.000
avatar
(Edited)

akala ko ba di ka sweet , sweet ka naman pala kneel eh, hahahaha you are so makulet nga kneel, but yeah I’m so sad for your loss.. yang hindi mo makita coz of the restrictions, i can feel your pain .. but im sure he was very happy with what you achieved ! sakit ng mga entry ngayon eh, i had to put courage to read them all , since im still recovering with what i wrote a week ago, which also got me teary eyed.. *virtual hug kneel

0
0
0.000
avatar

Sorry natagalan sa pagreply.
Weather2 lang ang sweetness, jude. Depende pod tao & lugar, coz saako mama, dili kay ko showy. Hehe

Virtual hug, jude. Read your entry. Sakit kaayo.
But congrats on winning the contest.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Congratulations @kneelyrac! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain And have been rewarded with New badge(s)

You distributed more than 59000 upvotes.
Your next target is to reach 60000 upvotes.

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

HiveBuzz World Cup Contest - Recap of Day 9
Hive Power Up Day - December 1st 2022
HiveBuzz World Cup Contest - Check your ranking
0
0
0.000
avatar

Congratulations @kneelyrac! You received a personal badge!

You powered-up at least 10 HIVE on Hive Power Up Day!
Wait until the end of Power Up Day to find out the size of your Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking

Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

HiveBuzz World Cup Contest - Recap of Day 11
Be ready for the last Hive Power Up Month of the year!
Hive Power Up Day - December 1st 2022
0
0
0.000
avatar

Congratulations @kneelyrac! You received a personal badge!

You powered-up at least 10 HIVE on Hive Power Up Day! This entitles you to a level 1 badge.
Participate in the next Power Up Day and try to power-up more HIVE to get a bigger Power-Bee.
May the Hive Power be with you!

You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking

Check out the last post from @hivebuzz:

HiveBuzz World Cup Contest - Recap of Day 12
Hive Power Up Month Challenge 2022-11 - Winners List
Be ready for the last Hive Power Up Month of the year!
0
0
0.000