Telling Or Withholding The Truth: The Psychological Conditioning.
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Yesterday I was reading this post from @edystringz, it's more of a rhetorical question to me, because if you ask anyone if they should always say the truth, they'll take a moment, give it a thorough thought and of course, it becomes really difficult to answer because there are it's often dependent on so many variables. However, what would you really consider as the truth?,
The truth might be a secret, might be something you should tell someone but feel too embarrassed or scared to do so. In my psychological endeavors, I find it empirical to say that most people don't actually intend not to say the truth. In fact everyone wants to say the truth, but the effect, the feedback or how it is going to be received are the biggest reasons why people do not say the truth.
Like it or not, the feedback of others, rubs off on our prospective actions and decisions. Sometimes the truth can be an information that might change the attitude, behavior and dispositions of others towards us and when we begin to reckon with this fear, we begin to nurse the ideas that the truth would do more damage. However, is keeping mute the same as not telling the truth?,
In a way, it is. This is because the truth can be an information that brings change, change in almost all ramification, so when we decide not to, it keeps the people who need to hear this truth in ignorance. They're devoid of that information which could actually help them. This is to say that lying, or withholding an information from people who need to know the truth are peas from the same pods, the difference is, they have different root, but they're intents are maliciously maligned.
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Then, there's the angle that people lie or withhold the truth from people they love in others to protect them. Well, I wouldn't say this isn't true. However, I believe this belief can be a bit aggrandizing. It's true that we don't need to live in the cognizance and awareness of every factual stance in our universe. For example, no one should exactly know when they'll die, if not the essence of living basically becomes gratuitous.
This is to say that by default, the universe is designed to let us live in inquisitiveness. It's by constant seeking of what is the truth that has brought about the advancement of humanity in general. Living a lie, or being told a lie, or having the truth withdraw from one can be gratifying, however, its effect can only be ephemeral. We sometimes choose to bask in the comfort of ignorance because it can be blissful.
Nevertheless, we must understand something, the truth has its ways of often coming out in the open, the only difference is the timing. Of course, the truth comes even better with the right timing. But totally keeping it away would be totally difficult. It's why we should totally analyze what truth? To what end? How trivial or Important, or how weighty.
The weight a truth carries sometimes determines our hesitation. But one thing we should understand about the truth is that it's mostly inevitable, whether we choose to tell it or not, sometimes we have personal choices why we might choose not to, either because we're ashamed, afraid of stigmas or scared of hurting the people we love. The truth has characteristics that prove its essence or existence and in most cases, the effect when it's found out, but not from the people who should tell it can be distasteful.
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In a nutshell, telling, or withholding the truth at the end of the day, is a personal thing that is often influenced by so many factors, one's sense of morality for example, sometimes a keen sense of godliness too. But then I believe knowing the truth, or facing the shock of knowing the truth can be mentally unbalancing, in fact, its intensity can make people live in denial, but in the long run, it is totally emancipating. Sometimes we have to live with our truth
one of the biggest undoings is actually living in a self-concocted lie or living in a cocoon of deception, we should totally tell ourselves the truth because then, the need to say the truth, will come when we have allowed our internal convictions to flow through our external resolve like a chakra. However like I said, it's a personal decision which only us can bear the burden.
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I didn't even think of telling the truth in the context of saying it to ourselves.
We do need to be sincere with ourselves about everything, it's the only way we will be able to put all the pieces of our lives together and live in harmony with our very being
Telling others the truth as I already said may not be necessary especially if it's going to hurt them anyway
It's better to keep it away from them. Most people use the things they hear against the human who told them
They tend to over analyze what you said, and define it to fit what they want to hear
@bobthebuilder2 had once written a post What Do You Think When Your Wife Says, "Do I look good in this?" sometimes ago
And he said this 👇👇
You see people tend to interpret the things we say to suit them. And it may not be the way you meant it.
They allow your words mean what they want them to mean
So, unless someone is mature enough to take the truth, I say, keep it to yourself.
Basically you have analyzed the concept of truth ? in a very different context and I think there are different context.
They listen to the concept or context that you have actually described. I would say that sometimes we need to tell people what they actually need to hear because it might determine a whole lot of conditioning in their life. Just like telling people they can do the impossible even when you know it will actually take so much more for them to actually do so. The power of the words or tongue is very important in the human life i'm so is telling the truth or lying, it can have so many diverse effects especially on the psyche.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, it was awesome reading from your context.
This is a really dicy topic.
I must say that a lot of truth is hidden in the fear of being judged.
I heard of a woman who lied he was AA because he didn't want to lose his wife who was AS.
Some years later they gave birth to a child who was SS.
And my question remains what is the point of lying or withholding the truth if it will eventually come out?
I feel whatever will happen will happen with the truth or not. The truth has a way of coming out
Truth is, I wouldn't really blame people for wanting to not tell the truth even if sometimes the intent can be malicious some other times it might not really be malicious but just based on pure human emotions.
However one of the most rational thing about telling the truth is that eventually it comes out like you said and that is why it is very important for us to be upfront.
Sometimes I take the truth to be very personal and hence I try to think that if I am afraid of the reactions of people when they hear the truth inevitably they would eventually find out and it wouldn't really change that reaction.
So at the end of the day it eventually pays off to just be upfront and live with the fear that comes with it or learn how to live with it
True
Yes I agree with you @josediccus, Because just saying the truth I believe is not really the problem, the problem is the things that follow after the truth has been told, the reactions and the repercussions, what the other person will feel when you tell them the truth.
some people don't really want to hurt others or their feelings by withholding the truth from them but sometimes we find out that when you withhold the truth, ok, what you tend to achieve by withholding the truth from somebody might end up you know being the reverse so I think it's better we say the truth and just face the consequences and whatever that comes out from it later.
You are definitely right, the repercussion of telling the truth is why so many people do not tell the truth. It's more of an emotional thing rather than a logical thing. When we tend to understand that the truth is inevitable, it's my change our disposition towards the concept of the truth.
One thing is that we cannot completely change people from knowing the truth, we can only manipulate the timing. Which can be really Important. However, at the end of the day it down to personal decisions, thank you so much for dropping by.
I think I agree with you in the aspect of timing, you know telling people the truth or not telling them the truth depends on time, when you withold the truth from somebody it doesn't mean that someday the truth will not be out, it will still be out.
Thank you for thanking me!!!😃😃
Thats a good write, buddy.👍