Unending Obligations: a one step at a time approach, pause, rest and continue

My best friend once told me I was not Superman and I should take life easy. Another good friend told me I was sacrificing too much for family (parents and siblings). It seems this week's topic was directed at me. My obligations seem overwhelming, and just yesterday, I forcefully told my boss at work that I would be proceeding on my 6-week annual leave by Monday, which was supposed to have commenced since November 13th. He was reluctant to release me, but my facial expressions must have given him a second thought. Unfortunately, I will only get to spend 4 weeks out of my leave, as annual leave does not extend beyond the year.

My obligations are sometimes documented (such as in my work schedule) and, many times, off-paper.

Work: I work as an administrator even though I am a medical professional, and I get to manage close to 200 hospitals within my state. The major issue with the hospitals is that patients have frequent complaints about dissatisfied services, which could be out-of-stock on drugs, out-of-pocket expenses, etc., and sometimes I have to interface among the three major stakeholders of health insurance in Nigeria: health maintenance organizations, healthcare providers, and the enrollees (patients). I receive numerous calls and messages, and I feel like switching off my line occasionally. The mistake I made was to make myself easily accessible to all, such that these stakeholders would rather call my line directly than interface through the office line. The unfortunate aspect is that my colleagues are not as passionate about problem solving as I am. Little wonder my boss was hesitant to release me yesterday. My plan for the holiday is simple: switch off my major phone number and travel to Warri in Delta State, where my brother stays, a 10-hour drive from my location. And yes, if I realize I'm not getting rest from frequent WhatsApp messages and calls (which I receive also), I'll stay away from them too, and hopefully I will find solace surfing through the wonderful communities on Hive. I received counsel from a distant friend sometime ago; she told me to ensure I am not lacking in my primary duties and that for the general responsibilities that sap my energy, I should pay little attention to those. If consequences arise from the general responsibilities, I would not take the fall alone. The problem, however, is that my boss prefers me to handle most of the responsibilities, and two of his secretaries have advised me to pitch my office close to the boss's, as he hardly does anything without wanting my input. Though it feels good to be relevant, I have found myself compromising on quality time for myself, including my health. Thankfully, my boss will begin his pre-retirement leave in February, and when a new boss arrives, I'll do well to limit the exposure of my dedication, though not compromising standards or responsibilities.

Family: I am not married, but I feel married already. Though my work schedule is from Monday to Friday, it requires field work intermittently, which may require me to travel many kilometers on roads with bad terrain. Having to go home to elderly parents and attend to home responsibilities has been overwhelming. All my older siblings are far away. And as the only medic in the family, I have taken on the responsibility of taking care of my elderly parents. I believe this is the best appreciation I can give to them for being handy and taking care of their health. Nigeria has witnessed a massive exodus of doctors to foreign countries, but truth be told, nobody takes care of family like family. Though opportunities abound elsewhere and beckon for me to jump at, I have found fulfillment being around my dad and my mom. My dad is over 80 years old, and my mom is almost 70. Financially, it has not been easy. I remember paying ₦190, 000 (almost double of my monthly take-home) in early November to secure a new inverter for the solar system at home so they could enjoy uninterrupted power supply. Seeing them happy is a satisfaction I cannot find anywhere else. Sometimes I fear how my life will be when I'm married, but when I get to that bridge, I'll cross it.

Others: Man does not live in isolation, although we were all born individually. Other engagements have equally demanded my attention, and I try to oblige all of them. Sometimes I turn a dead ear to some requests I deem frivolous or not urgent. Taking time to rest after work and family is a priority for me, and anything that usurps that must be very cogent.

I have, however, come to realize that the first and foremost obligation is to myself. I am only relevant as long as I am alive and well. Secondly, I didn't come to this world with the problems at hand, and even long after I am gone, problems and people will exist. Thus, I have adopted the mindset to take life one step at a time, rest when I am tired, and never give up. I have had to temporize some work assignments until it's most convenient with adequate planning. Hastening to achieve life's goals may end up not achieving anything tangible. Eating good food, especially in the morning, and riding my bicycle after work are two ways that I stay balanced in all this turmoil.

IMAGE CREDIT IS MINE

Thank you for taking the time to read my content. I would love to have your comments and contributions.