Motherhood: A Crazy Yet Fulfilling Journey

My little princess just turned one this year and it was a huge milestone!

To begin with, I had my first miscarriage last 2013 and for years I have been struggling to beat anxiety and irrational guilt thinking that I lost my baby. It has been a roller coaster of emotions for me and my husband that’s why we give it all in God’s plan if He will give us another one. And then, after 6 years a blessing came and I found out I was pregnant. At first, I couldn’t believe it when I saw those 2 pink lines, I called my husband and showed it to him and finally, it hit me that boom I’ll be a mother! I really had to make sure that this is real, and that after years of waiting at last we were blessed to have a baby. So, I went to see my OB-GYN to check if the baby is fine and she told me I’m 3 weeks pregnant.

It has not been easy at all, because at age 36 I was considered to have high-risk pregnancies due to gestational diabetes. At the start, I managed my gestational diabetes by doing a healthy diet and checking my blood sugars 3 times a day. The blood sugar checking was a little strange, but for 8 months of doing it, I was already used to it. Most of the time, I get frustrated if I got high reading as I am worried that my doctor will suggest I do the insulin shot. For me, the more medications I take the more complicated the birth would need to be and I don’t want that to happen. As my pregnancy progressed, my blood sugar became very unstable resulting that me having to take the insulin shot for a month until the baby comes out. I cried and was very upset to myself that I couldn’t handle such things. This is where my husband played a huge role in my pregnancy. He was my backbone; he was the one who made my pregnancy journey nurturing and remarkable.

Since my baby was born in the midst of the pandemic, this was another challenge for us because all my prenatal checkups were done online and instead of having it every month, I was scheduled to have it once every trimester. Yet, I remain optimistic that my baby is healthy so when I was told to do an Anomaly Scan, I was so excited because finally, we will know the gender of our little one.

As soon as I got the result, I handed it over to my best friend so that for our online gender reveal I and my husband will be both surprised if it’s a girl or a boy.

At 39 weeks, I was called by my doctor that I’m scheduled for labor induction, I have no idea what it was but all I think was that I’m lucky that they gave me a specific time and day to go to the hospital because, during that time, it was so difficult to get inside the ER without undergoing RT-PCR test.

I packed everything in my hospital bag, fixed our room and the baby’s crib, got a nice hot shower, put on light makeup, and yes I’m ready to do this. As soon as we arrived at the ER, they did a COVID Rapid Test and when the result came out negative, I was then admitted to the labor room around 9:00 AM and started labor induction. It was around 1:30 AM the next day where I started to have a series of contractions, and I told my doctor that it is really painful to the point that I almost requested an epidural shot. But I always keep in my mind that I am strong and I can do this without pain relief options and I will do this in the normal way. When I was in the delivery room, I was asked to wear my surgical mask, Oh no! How can I breathe with my mask on?! I don’t know how I did it but with two pushes my little baby was out.

From the minute Zadie Mireia (Princess to Admire) was born, our lives changed for the better.

It was never my plan to breastfeed Zadie but as my OB explained to me that it is more beneficial to breastfeed during the pandemic and it also promotes closeness to the baby then I’m all for it.

I never failed to document Zadie’s journey, I’m proud to say that despite the pandemic, her Daddy and I choose to give her everything a parent can provide. She is our greatest gift, the love of our lives, and our only treasure.

I know a lot of women out there have a similar or even worse experience to what I’ve been through but with a good support structure from your husband, families, and friends everything will be fine. With God’s perfect plan, I am beyond grateful and blessed to have the chance to be a mother.💚