Olive a country girl pulled into a scandal [Eng | Spa]

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(Edited)


Hello, Writing Club community!


Olive has always been a petite girl from a small town, she does not quite know what did Robert saw in her as she was not as petty as the city girls or as smart as the people of the college he went into, she was just some random field girl, yet Robert always came for her when he was near town, his visits were quite constant and at least she got to see him once per year.

Robert came and went over and over again, a couple of years has pass, and he still showed up at least once per year, Olive hoped he would let her go and get his way in life, yet he bought a home in the little town. Great things were expected of him after all, and that would eventually take him away from her, yet it didn't happen, and even her wildest dream also dint got to be a reality, Robert dint came for her this last week, the news reported him to be imprisoned for a horrible crime.


Olive

Made by me on Canva, uploaded by TanTanika on Pixabay.


Some things didn't quite fit with the news, as he was in Olive's department for days before the crime, he took a plane back to the capital while she was preparing to tell him the big news, having a lover would look bad on a person in his position, but to father a child and not taking responsibility would look worse.

Corporations are usually not family-owned, to be precise, almost if not all the corporations are not privately owned, but the Evans empire was an exception to every rule, It started for generations before Robert's father and Robert being the first in line to inherit it sure put pressure on him and Olive, as he could not casually marry whoever his heart decided. After all, he could marry anyone he liked, but people would expect him to marry someone "worthy" of him, but if he fathered a child outside a marriage people would see him in a worse position than his younger siblings.

Olive knew he could not have possibly done the crime, after all, Patricide just didn't fit with Robert's plan, he had bought a house in the fields and planned to move with Olive and drop his family empire on the next in line, his younger and wiser sister, so something was not right, the whole trial appeared to be trampled with corruption and abuse of power, and Olive finally realized that maybe her unborn child was in danger because people would do almost anything for money, including killing their father.


A killing of the Evans family empire

Uploaded by Clker-Free-Vector-Images on Pixabay.


Olive never dared to get near the house Robert mentioned and watch the news with anxiety, closely following the trial, yet she took her time to find a job, the problem was that the only man hiring in town was a drunk famous for beating his wife, yet Olive had to endure, Robert would no longer wire money for her and soon the food in the fridge would run out.

Robert had a total of Four siblings, all equally capable of running the family business, and you could separate them into two groups, Oscar and Victor would be the expected inheritors among the male, especially Oscar as he was constantly on the news pointing the finger at Robert, Victor otherwise was rumored to be a Casanova that wasted his days in alcohol, women and even men.

The sisters were substantially different, Rafaela was already a millionaire on her hard work, she started small and tried to use her position and contacts in the best way possible and ended up building and ruling one of the best-emerging companies in the country, and the last one was a cast out just as Robert, Veronica was pushed off the family and reneged by her father, for being a lesbian.


Rafaela was not a suspect as she had no motive

Uploaded by Stocksnap on Pixabay.


One could see the most likely killer almost from a mile away, Victor would not waste his time and Veronica would never try to take the company, their goals in life would be to enjoy their money, Rafaela and Oscar would be the main suspects, and the fact that Robert was the one jailed would point directly at them.

The petite small-town girl never expected to be honored with the presence of both Victor and Veronica at her doorstep the morning of the first day of work, they both were smiling yet wore sad eyes, as the death of their father had a heavy load on their backs, it was evident they were plotting some grand scheme, yet Olive wanted no part on it.

They came with documents of the House Robert owned, a trust fund that would come to her, and even a collateral fund in case something would ever happen to him that would grant her ownership of some of Robert's properties. Victor was the first to speak to set the terms, he and Veronica were sure of Robert's innocence and Oscar's plot, and believed only Rafaela would have some evidence of his actions, as she had set up a spy network long before they even became teens, after all in the trial they had a chance to speak with Robert, and he asked them to come and take care of Olive.


Signing the trust fund

Uploaded by Andibreit on Pixabay.


—I sincerely think there is a plot to cut you out of the family in the hands of Oscar, Robert prepared some documents to marry you and left them with dad, he was not on good terms with him over it, but he would never stab dad like Oscar said he did, it is just not who Robert is, he is brave and valiant, but he is no murderer.
—There is no point in telling Olive, brother, she is not the kind of gal that would jump into a corporate drama and do her best to save her lover, just look at her, she even took a dirt poor job and "settled" with her fate.
—Olive we need you, we need you to convince Robert to fight back at the trial, he wants you to have some spare cash or whatever, but if he knows the quite obvious detail of your pregnancy...
—Wait, how did you know?
—Your belly is already showing country girl, and Robert is just the kind of brother that would get some random nice girl pregnant and shut away all corporate stakes for love, he is a hopeless romantic.
—Ok, I take that after looking at the documents, you expect me to involve in the court, how do I reach him?, how do I save my child and his life?

Both siblings spoke in unison in reply:
—Heck, that is what we are talking about.


Olive belly is starting to show

Uploaded by Lucianapappdesign on Pixabay.


Victor took his time, and drove Olive and his sister back to the capital city, the famous city of kings, yet did it with extra care, avoiding any main street and doing his best to not be tracked, they were protecting precious cargo, you see, the whole murder of their father had them both shock in surprise, they were both a bit gray on the moral compass, but stabbing the old man was off limits, and they wanted to make sure justice reached Oscar.

Rafaela could not be done it as she just dint have anything to win from it, besides she was also too small to be able to beat and kill her father, so it could only be Oscar, the smart college graduate with the perfect score, the boy genius of the family, only him could be as cold to do something like that.


City of Kings

Uploaded by Csliaw on Pixabay.


Olive lived in Victor's mansion for months, she dints shown up at the trial as she was expecting, and Veronica did manage to persuade Robert to fight back, the authorities would not dare to involve themself as soon as the whole trial became a 2vs2 of the Evans family empire, yet the public was having a blast with the media coverage.

Oscar the mastermind, Veronica the macho girl, Victor the gigolo, and Rafaela the power abuser, all siblings earned a negative name in the eyes of the masses, yet the trial was in complete lockdown, unable to either get Robert's sentence for the lack of definitive evidence or much less get any of the others sent to jail.

It took a long time to find any shed of evidence, but for it to be as simple as a falling jewel of the knife used to kill the father would prove to become a sore point in the eyes of the masses, something only the rich could do, to kill someone with an expensive and ancient ceremonial knife, no one in a sane mind would do such a thing.

The final lab test came, and Robert's lawyer was smiling, it proved that someone in the family did it but it did not match Robert's fingerprints; Olive pregnancy was already looming in her eighth month and it would be now or never, Victor convinced the lawyers to put her on the stand and let her speak about Robert unborn child and their relationship plans, it was the best way to prove Robert wanted no part with the Corporative empire of the Evans.

Robert's initial reaction was unique, as he both cried and asked for some time alone with Olive, yet the judge refused such time as it could stress out the pregnant woman, and the final Nail on the coffin was placed with the test results, Robert's blood was on the gem, with that he was sentenced to death and a grim smile could be seen in Oscar's face, the trial after all was trampled by him, yet little did he know that Victor held a final card in his hands.


Ancient ceremonial knife

Uploaded by Growndiamond on Pixabay.


Days before the birth of Olive's child an appeal was granted to Robert, the judge had seen some new evidence and a lot of pressure from both Victor and Rafaela's shares of the Evans corporation, and as soon as Oscar was dragged into court he stared all of his siblings and asked what was going on, but as soon as the court played the video things went sideways real fast.

Victor never had any lovers joining the mansion at night, he was just covering for his father, but because of that he was allowed to place a camera in his father's office, just in case any of his father's lovers ever tried to accuse him of sexual or physical abuse, and also worked as a fail-safe for the lovers, because his father was an old man performing acts that he physically was unable to do so anymore(blue pill miracles), and he could die anytime doing so.

The video showed in a clear recording with no editing how he had a Lover leave the room, the issue was that it was another man, such a scandal was what prevented Victor from realizing the recordings before, but minutes after the lover's departure Oscar came inside the office, holding both a bag and an extremely expensive ceremonial knife, Robert was an innocent man.


Ancient ceremonial knife

Uploaded by Aryokmateus on Pixabay.


Today I tried something a bit more intricate than my usual murder mystery short story, Is based on a dream I had and it was so weird to see life from four sets of eyes that it still feels kind of uncomfortable for me, but I love how it allowed me to practice a way of narration that is not my usual dark undertone. What do you think about this story and people like Oscar that would do almost anything for money? Leave me a comment in the section below if you wanna voice any opinion or share a thought.



Made by me in Canva Pro



¡Hola comunidad de Writing Club!


Olivia siempre ha sido una chica sencilla de un pueblo pequeño, no sabe bien qué vio Robert en ella, ya que no era tan mezquina como las chicas de ciudad ni tan lista como la gente de la universidad a la que él fue, era una chica de campo cualquiera, sin embargo Robert siempre venía a buscarla cuando estaba cerca del pueblo, sus visitas eran bastante constantes y al menos ella conseguía verle una vez al año.

Robert iba y venía en ciclos, habían pasado un par de años y seguía apareciendo al menos una vez al año, Olive esperaba que la dejara marchar y se abriera camino en la vida, sin embargo compró una casa en la pequeña ciudad. Después de todo, se esperaban grandes cosas de él, y eso acabaría por alejarlo de ella, pero no fue así, e incluso su sueño más descabellado tampoco llegó a hacerse realidad, Robert no vino a buscarla esta última semana, las noticias informaban de que había sido encarcelado por un crimen horrible.


Robert en su camino a Olivia

Hecho por mi en Canva, subido por Stocksnap en Pixabay.


Algunas cosas no encajaban del todo con la noticia, ya que él estuvo en el departamento de Olivia días antes del crimen, tomó un avión de regreso a la capital mientras ella se preparaba para darle la gran noticia, tener una amante se vería mal en una persona de su posición, pero engendrar un hijo y no asumir la responsabilidad se vería peor.

Las corporaciones no suelen ser de propiedad familiar, para ser precisos, casi si no todas las corporaciones no son de propiedad privada, pero el imperio Evans era una excepción a toda regla, comenzó desde generaciones antes que el padre de Robert y Robert siendo el primero en la línea de sucesión seguro que puso presión sobre él y Olive, ya que no podía casarse casualmente con quien su corazon decidiera. Después de todo, podía casarse con quien quisiera, pero la gente esperaría que se casara con alguien "digno" de él, y si engendraba un hijo fuera del matrimonio la gente lo vería en peor posición que a sus hermanos menores.

Olivia sabía que no era posible que él hubiera cometido el crimen, después de todo, el parricidio no encajaba en el plan de Robert, que había comprado una casa en el campo y planeaba mudarse con ella y dejar su imperio familiar en manos de la siguiente en la línea de sucesión, su hermana más joven y más sabia, así que algo no iba bien, todo el juicio parecía pisoteado por la corrupción y el abuso de poder, y Olivia por fin se dio cuenta de que tal vez su hijo nonato estaba en peligro porque la gente haría casi cualquier cosa por dinero, incluso matar a su padre.


Patricidio

Subido por Niekverlaan en Pixabay.


Olivia nunca se atrevió a acercarse a la casa mencionada por Robert y miraba las noticias con ansiedad, siguiendo de cerca el juicio, aun así se tomó su tiempo para encontrar un trabajo, el problema era que el único hombre que contrataba en la ciudad era un borracho famoso por golpear a su esposa, aun así Olivia tuvo que aguantar, Robert ya no giraría dinero por ella y pronto la comida en la nevera se acabaría.

Robert tenía un total de Cuatro hermanos, todos igualmente capaces de llevar el negocio familiar, y se les podía separar en dos grupos, Oscar y Victor serían los herederos esperados entre los varones, especialmente Oscar ya que salía constantemente en las noticias señalando con el dedo a Robert, Victor por lo demás se rumoreaba que era un Casanova que malgastaba sus días en alcohol, mujeres y hasta hombres.

Las hermanas eran sustancialmente diferentes, Rafaela ya era millonaria gracias a su duro trabajo, empezó con poco y trató de utilizar su posición y contactos de la mejor manera posible y acabó construyendo y gobernando una de las empresas más emergentes del país, y la última fue una expulsada al igual que Robert, pero Verónica fue apartada de la familia y renegada por su padre, por ser lesbiana.


Rafaela y su propio imperio

Subido por Xusenru en Pixabay.


Se podía ver al más probable asesino casi a la legua, Víctor no perdería el tiempo y Verónica nunca intentaría llevarse la empresa, sus objetivos en la vida serían disfrutar de su dinero, Rafaela y Oscar serían los principales sospechosos, y el hecho de que Robert fuera el encarcelado apuntaría directamente hacia ellos.

La pequeña pueblerina nunca esperó ser honrada con la presencia de Víctor y Verónica en su puerta la mañana del primer día de trabajo, ambos sonreían pero llevaban ojos tristes, pues la muerte de su padre tenía una pesada carga sobre sus espaldas, era evidente que estaban tramando algún gran plan, pero Olive no quería ser parte del plan.

Vinieron con documentos de la casa que Robert poseía, un fondo fiduciario que le correspondería a ella, e incluso un fondo colateral en caso de que algo le sucediera a él que le otorgaría la propiedad de algunas de las propiedades de Robert. Víctor fue el primero en hablar para establecer los términos, él y Verónica estaban seguros de la inocencia de Robert y del complot de Oscar, y creían que sólo Rafaela tendría alguna prueba de sus acciones, ya que ella había montado una red de espionaje mucho antes de que ellos se convirtieran en adolescentes, después de todo en el juicio tuvieron la oportunidad de hablar con Robert, y él les pidió que vinieran a cuidar de Olivia.


Firmando el fondo fiduciario

Subido por Edar en Pixabay.


—Sinceramente creo que hay un complot para apartarte de la familia en manos de Oscar, Robert preparó unos documentos para casarse contigo y se los dejó a papá, no estaba en buenos términos con él por eso, pero nunca apuñalaría a papá como Oscar dice que hizo, simplemente Robert no es así, es valiente y valeroso, pero no es un asesino.
—No tiene sentido decírselo a Olivia, hermano, ella no es el tipo de chica que se metería en un drama corporativo y haría todo lo posible por salvar a su amante, solo mírala, incluso aceptó un trabajo de mala muerte y se "conformó" con su destino.
—Olive te necesitamos, necesitamos que convenzas a Robert de que se defienda en el juicio, él quiere que le sobre algo de dinero o lo que sea, pero si conoce el detalle bastante obvio de tu embarazo...
—Espera, ¿Cómo lo supiste?
—Tu barriga ya se está mostrando chica de campo, y Robert es justo el tipo de hermano que dejaría embarazada a una chica agradable al azar y cerraría todas las apuestas corporativas por amor, es un romántico empedernido.
—Ok, entiendo que después de ver los documentos, esperas que me involucre en el juicio, ¿Cómo llego a él?, ¿Cómo salvo su vida y la de mi bebe?

Ambos hermanos hablaron al unísono en respuesta:
—Caramba, de eso estamos hablando.


La barriga de Olive se comienza a notar

Subido por Xusenru en Pixabay.


Victor se tomó su tiempo, y condujo a Olivia y a su hermana de vuelta a la capital, la famosa ciudad de los reyes, sin embargo lo hizo con mucho cuidado, evitando cualquier calle principal y haciendo todo lo posible para no ser rastreados, estaban protegiendo una carga preciosa, ya ves, todo el asesinato de su padre los tenía a ambos sorprendidos, ambos eran un poco grises en la brújula moral, pero apuñalar al viejo estaba fuera de los límites, y querían asegurarse de que la justicia llegara a Oscar.

Rafaela no podía hacerlo ya que no tenía nada que ganar con ello, además era demasiado pequeña para poder golpear y matar a su padre, así que sólo podía ser Oscar, el universitario inteligente con la nota perfecta, el niño genio de la familia, sólo él podía ser tan frío como para hacer algo así.


La ciudad de los reyes

Subido por Jorge2015 en Pixabay.


Olivia vivio en la mansion de Victor durante meses, no aparecio en el juicio como se esperaba, y Veronica consiguio persuadir a Robert para que se defendiera, las autoridades no se atrevieron a involucrarse en cuanto todo el juicio se convirtio en un 2vs2 del imperio de la familia Evans, sin embargo el publico se lo estaba pasando en grande con la cobertura mediática.

Oscar el cerebro, Verónica la machita, Víctor el gigoló y Rafaela la abusadora de poder, todos los hermanos se ganaron un sobrenombre negativo a los ojos de las masas, sin embargo el juicio estaba en completo bloqueo, incapaces ni de conseguir la sentencia de Robert por falta de pruebas definitivas ni mucho menos de conseguir que alguno de los otros fuera enviado a la cárcel.

Se tardó mucho tiempo en encontrar algún indicio, pero que fuera tan simple como la caída de una joya del cuchillo utilizado para matar al padre resultaría ser una llaga a los ojos de las masas, algo que sólo los ricos podían hacer, matar a alguien con un caro y antiguo cuchillo ceremonial, nadie en su sano juicio haría algo así.

La última prueba de laboratorio llegó, y el abogado de Robert sonreía, demostraba que alguien de la familia lo había hecho pero no coincidía con las huellas dactilares de Robert; el embarazo de Olivia ya asomaba en su octavo mes y sería ahora o nunca, Víctor convenció a los abogados de subirla al estrado y dejarla hablar sobre el hijo nonato de Robert y sus planes de relación, era la mejor manera de demostrar que Robert no quería saber nada del imperio Corporativo de los Evans.

La reacción inicial de Robert fue única, lloró y pidió un tiempo a solas con Olivia, sin embargo el juez se negó ya que podría estresar a la mujer embarazada, y el último clavo en el ataúd se colocó con los resultados de la prueba, la sangre de Robert estaba en la gema, con eso fue sentenciado a muerte y una sonrisa sombría se podía ver en la cara de Oscar, el juicio después de todo fue pisoteado por él, sin embargo, poco sabía el que Víctor tenía una última carta en sus manos.


Banner hecho en Canva, por mi

Subido por Rihaij en Pixabay.


Días antes del nacimiento del hijo de Olivia se le concedió una apelación a Robert, el juez había visto algunas pruebas nuevas y mucha presión por las acciones de Víctor y Rafaela en la corporación Evans, y tan pronto como Oscar fue arrastrado a la corte miró fijamente a todos sus hermanos y preguntó qué estaba pasando, pero tan pronto como la corte reprodujo el video las cosas se torcieron muy rápido.

Victor nunca tuvo amantes que entraran en la mansion por la noche, solo cubria a su padre, pero por eso se le permitio poner una camara en el despacho de su padre, por si alguna de las amantes de su padre intentaba acusarle de abuso sexual o fisico, y tambien funcionaba como un mecanismo de seguridad para las amantes, porque su padre era un anciano que realizaba actos que fisicamente ya no podia hacer(milagros de la pastilla azul), y podia morir en cualquier momento haciendolo.

El video mostraba en una grabación clara y sin edición como hacía salir a un amante de la habitación, la cuestión era que se trataba de otro hombre, tal escándalo fue lo que impidió que Víctor se diera cuenta de las grabaciones anteriores, pero minutos después de la salida del amante Oscar entró en la oficina, sosteniendo tanto una bolsa como un cuchillo ceremonial extremadamente caro, Robert era un hombre inocente.


Banner hecho en Canva, por mi


Hoy he intentado algo un poco más intrincado que mi habitual historia corta de misterio y asesinato, está basada en un sueño que tuve y fue tan extraño ver la vida desde cuatro pares de ojos que todavía me resulta un poco incómodo, pero me encanta cómo me permitió practicar una forma de narrar que no es mi habitual trasfondo oscuro. ¿Qué opinas de esta historia y de gente como Óscar que haría casi cualquier cosa por dinero? Déjame un comentario en la sección de abajo si quieres expresar alguna opinión o compartir un pensamiento.

Fuente del separador entre idiomas, hecho en Canva en base a la imagen previamente citada en la parte de ingles.



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Es una excelente historia amigo, con una trama interesante. En semejante problema se metió Olivia con esa familia tan adinerada de Robert que siendo de bonitos sentimientos fue encarcelado siendo inocente. Y en cuanto a Óscar fue muy lamentable su actuación quitarle la vida a su padre y pretender que pagara su Hno. Robert, como dicen por allí "no se vale". Afortunadamente se descubrió al culpable eso me gustó. Saludos amigos. Fue un verdadero placer leer tu post.

Que tengas un excelente y productivo día 🙏🏻

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Y no olvidar que resumiste toda la trama del cuento de dos mil palabras en un solo párrafo, impresionante, yo mismo lo intente y me ha salido el cuento completo, ja, ja, ja, tremenda habilidad, un abrazo y nos vemos por allí, saludos.

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Ja ja ja, gracias la verdad es que me gusta mucho leer. Estaré pendiente de pasar siempre por tu blog. Saludos nuevamente 😜👍

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Un honor, gracias, suelo publicar dos reviews y un cuento por semana, a veces incluyo cosas personales, inclusive pienso en que el siguiente post sera sobre navidad y Sofía, mi bebita, espero lo disfrutes :)

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(Edited)

Yes, I made it. Now, that was quite a storyline. I spotted something though

Both brothers spoke in unison in reply:

Both brothers spoke in unison in reply:

I am sure you wanted to say both siblings in there because that's Veronica and Victor we are talking about 😃

Away from that. This family had a lot going on for them. Just yesterday, I dropped a comment on someone's betrayal fictional story. I didn't know if I was wrong or right but today this story fermented my thoughts.

The people who are prone to betrayal or try to harm someone to get what they want are mostly those who don't seem to have a lot going on for them.

The rest of the siblings had a life. Robert found love and was willing to sacrifice the family business for it.

Veronica had her lesbian life. Victor, his Casanova life, and Rafaela had her business.

Everyone had something to do with whatever wealth or connection the family business brought them. The only person who didn't seem to have anything going on for him was Oscar. So it's no surprise he would be the one to pull such an act.

Thank goodness, Victor came to the rescue. And now, everyone gets to live happily ever after.

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Brothers in Spanish is accurate, in English is a total mistake, my bad, It is a translation error because I think in Spanish and write in English, they have no neutral pronoun because male pronoun is to be called as plural and female as an individual while men don't usually get one of those individual things in Spanish, in fact as one of the Latin derivative languages, we used to have a neutral pronoun with an E like 700 years ago, but people ditched it because it made the already complicated rules of grammar a total nightmare, as Spanish is already one of the most complex languages in the world for its incredible diversity and crazy adaptability, it goes to say a lot that a C1 in Spanish is almost impossible to find in people born in other countries, to the point that a Nobel winning author called Jose Saramago, won his prize by writing in Spanish with no punctuation and structure, yet still writing in a way that you could read him with ease and totally hate how flexible Spanish is.

Just explaining the context of my mistake, going to correct it either way, but this could give you some context when reading Spanish-speaking authors, because for once I love to be corrected as it could help my growth as a Writer 😍.

Going around Oscar as a character; most betrayals have something to do with the lack of something, to be precise, Veronica was a cast out for being too similar to her father, he hated his reflection of his own secret homosexuality to be just allowed to exist, heck I will at one point write her own story as I already kind of have a general picture of the whole Evans empire, yet Oscar was always the one that saw himself as the "true inheritor" of the empire, so his jealousy translated to deny himself any kind of growth outside that said limitations, meaning that he quite literally stopped himself from growing as a human being, this could be seen like an insane thing to do for most people, but it still rings true for most people that tent to betray, they think they are entitled to do so, and if one thing its constant with entitlement, is that it always leads to insane decisions.

Love your comment, one of the most constructive comments I have had on Hive so far, thank you :)

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Just explaining the context of my mistake, going to correct it either way, but this could give you some context when reading Spanish-speaking authors, because for once I love to be corrected as it could help my growth as a Writer 😍.

Yes, and I learned something new today. I felt guilty that I did not stop to consider that was as a result of the translation. Now, I understand, next time I see them elsewhere, I will nod in recognition. Thanks for explaining.

yet Oscar was always the one that saw himself as the "true inheritor" of the empire, so his jealousy translated to deny himself any kind of growth outside that said limitations, meaning that he quite literally stopped himself from growing as a human being, this could be seen like an insane thing to do for most people, but it still rings true for most people that tent to betray, they think they are entitled to do so, and if one thing its constant with entitlement, is that it always leads to insane decisions.

You even put it more perfectly than I did . This is apt!!! People who feel entitled to other people's things simply get clouded reasoning and almost never seek to improve themselves in other ways.

Veronica was a cast out for being too similar to her father, he hated his reflection of his own secret homosexuality to be just allowed to exist, heck I will at one point write her own story as I already kind of have a general picture of the whole Evans empire

Amazing. I can understand how such a public figure would fight to keep his reputation intact and then cast out anyone or anything that threatens the very existence of those secrets.

I'll like to read any new story on this empire. Please, remember to tag me. Thanks 🙏

Love your comment, one of the most constructive comments I have had on Hive so far, thank you :)

No, thank you for inviting me over. I am the one who enjoyed this more. 😍❣️❣️

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But learning to write best is always good, as I'm trying to improve my writing in English, so please do not stop to give these constructive comments, they are made of pure gold, so continue to do so, even if you know why the error was made, you could just point it out, maybe the authors themselves don't they are making a mistake.

I just told you how I built Oscar as a character, I didn't show any of his inner thoughts and way of workings because it would become a short novel if I did, but heck maybe one day I should do a Patreon and write it down, who knows right? So about the whole Entitle mentality, it is a lot deeper, if you ever worked with the public you see it every day, and it is annoying.

I will remember to ping you if I do it anytime soon, big hug and I am really glad to have invited you over, it was worth both of our time and helped us both in growing, big hugs, thank you for your time.

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Interesante historia, con un misterio intrinseco y familia sedienta de poder. Lamentable la situación, pero el conflicto al menos pudo resolverse. Es nivel de manipulación de aquellos hermanos sobre la pobre chica es perverso, obligándola a declarar contra su esposo, sin embargo que bueno que tenían todas esas precauciones para que la verdad al final saliera a la luz. Muy buena historia.

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El único motivo por el cual arrastran a la chica es para que su declaración arruine parcialmente las posibilidades de Robert de heredar la empresa, inclusive ese es el principal motivo de Víctor, si te fijas, con Robert fuera de camino, Verónica expulsada por su padre, Óscar preso y Rafaela con su propia empresa, Víctor puede literalmente caminar a la silla de su padre y tomar todo, y al mismo tiempo todo el mundo le apoyaría por ser "el bueno" de la historia.

Pase mucho tiempo construyendo los motivos de los personajes, cada quien tenía que tener una persona creíble si no no funcionaria la historia.

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Muchas cosas oscuras pueden esconderse detrás del poder y el dinero, una historia apasionante y extensa a la altura de una novela corta de publicación inédita que se disfruta desde sus primeras líneas, viendo las características de cada personaje y las injusticias que rodean las relaciones familiares tormentosas. Gracias por compartirla en Writing Club, estoy seguro de que nuestros lectores la disfrutaran tanto como yo. Un Abrazo Jesús, cariños y saludos a la pequeña Sofía y que el niño Dios le traiga mucha alegría en esta navidad.

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Amén, gracias por leer ante todo. Mi objetivo era hacer una narrativa atrapante y parece que lo he logrado, al menos eso es lo que siento al leer tu respuesta, un abrazo y de nuevo gracias por tu tiempo :)

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That's quite a storyline. Do you often take notes after you're dreaming? I've not been writing fiction in a while but you motivated me to start something. I shall write some fiction this week.

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Most of my short stories are dreams, like 95% of them, so I started taking audio notes just after waking up, but I usually build details around them, slowly and by parts, just to make sense of some of them, because believe me, some of my dreams are so damm weird that it amazes me.

I would love to read it when you do publish it <3, big hug and see you around :)

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Lo que más me sorprende es que semejante historia tan laboriosa haya surgido de un sueño que tuviste jaja. A veces la inspiración nos llega de maneras impredecibles y hay que aprovecharla al máximo como tú hiciste.

Tienes mucha imaginación y creatividad, y supiste crear muy bien los personajes de la trama dándoles una personalidad única en cada caso. Lo bueno es que al final todo se resolvió. 😄

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Lo más importante es saber hacer limonada de los limones que nos da la vida jajaja, un abrazo, saludos y gracias por pasar.

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Literatos-estatico.jpg

Esta publicación ha recibido el voto de Literatos, la comunidad de literatura en español en Hive y ha sido compartido en el blog de nuestra cuenta.

¿Quieres contribuir a engrandecer este proyecto? ¡Haz clic aquí y entérate cómo!

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Muchas gracias, un honor contar con su voto en esta publicación, un gran abrazo :)

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Querido Jesus Tiano, de parte de todo el equipo que conforma nuestra Colmena, queremos agradecer tu presencia en nuestra actividad realizada y compartiera con nosotros tu espectacular publicación.

Nota mucho esfuerzo y mucho tiempo armando tu historia que me he deleitado leyéndola con mucha calma.

Me encantan las historias que llevan la narrativa como lo has hecho, caramba, he quedado impactada pues ha sido una tremenda historia, al final quienes creímos culpables del asesinatos no lo eran. Lo bueno es que Olivia pudo dar a luz a su hijo en mejores condiciones de la que estaba y se comprobó la inocencia de Robert que iba a sufrir además un cruel destino.

Gracias por haber estado en nuestro 8vo encuentro virtual, nos sentimos felices con tu participación.

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Tenia dos ideas paralelas, Robert lo hizo y lo sentencian, muy obvia y sencilla. Víctor lo hizo y atrapo a Óscar al mismo tiempo que saco del camino a todos los demas hermanos para heredar la empresa.

Decidí dejarlo en Óscar porque si Víctor tomaba control no explica la expulsión de Verónica por ser miembro Lgbti+ de parte de su papá, por ende aquí esta el hilo final, algo coherente y que tenga construcción de mundo creíble... Un abrazo y un honor participar con ustedes, aún mas que leyeras y que te gustara jajaja <3

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