Life Doesn't Come With A Manual. It Comes With A Mother (LoH101)

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(Edited)

September 29, 2022

Over the years, women have always been downgraded and considered weak due to the patriarchy depicted in history. We are always defined as household workers and only know things about caring for the family and home. That is absurd to believe because, nowadays, resiliency and the number of challenges faced and overcome are used to define someone's capabilities rather than gender.

The new Ladies of Hive contest talks about resilient and inspiring women. @tibaire asked,

Let's talk about a resilient woman, it can be your friend, family member, co-worker, etc. What is her life challenge and what did she do to overcome the trial she faced?

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Would you believe me if I say we are thirteen siblings in the family? Imagine how a mother can handle more than a dozen children. A weak one would definitely go crazy.

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Above all the inspiring women I know, there's only one whom I considered the toughest and most resilient of all, none other than, my mother.

Ignorant and weak she may consider herself when she was young, but motherhood turned her into a person she never thought she will become.

As a third of the thirteen and eldest daughter of the family, I witnessed how my mother faced a lot of challenges and how she was able to get through a lot of storms. I've been with her throughout her journey as I stood as the second mother of the family.

And having a husband who was always away to work to make ends meet, she stood as a mother and a father to us at the same time. She carried all the burdens and responsibilities of raising her children alone and went through restless days and sleepless nights for the sake of giving her children a comfortable life.

We aren't rich or poor. But there were times in my childhood when we suffered hunger due to our father's shortcomings. A lot of times, I've seen her eating less just to give us enough food on our plates. She'd rather starve than see us starving.

If during the day she was restless, each night she was sleepless. She would get up with just one cry from a baby and attend to the baby's needs. She would stay awake until everything was fine. And as her assistant, I stayed up late as well. In that way, she had a company.

A lot of storms came that she dealt with by herself, as our father was away on his duty. I was about 10 or 12 years old when a devastating typhoon caused havoc in our place. During those days, our father couldn't be reached out to. We even thought he had abandoned us. My mother, on the other hand, doesn't have enough to suffice our needs. She had stayed up all night worrying about what might happen. We were too young and no one could help us, but ourselves.

With God's guidance, we survived the typhoon. It receded the next day, and we were starving. One problem left was how to look for something to fill our growling stomachs. We went out to collect fruit from fallen trees with our mother. We got bananas and some vegetables. They saved our day. And a few days later, our father showed up, probably to check if we were still alive. But at the back of my head was hatred against him for being away during those days we needed him most. If not because of our mother, we probably would have given up our lives.

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When our father betrayed our mother and opted to go with another woman, we saw how she cried bitterly and worried about what would happen to her family. She feared seeing a broken home with fatherless children. Yet, her love for him prevailed as she believed that someday, our father would change and go back home again. It seemed that her prayers were granted when one day, our father realized that we were her real family, and he found his way back home, for the betterment of everyone.

Losing is part of being a mother as well. I witnessed how she became devastated when she lost a child, not just once, but twice. She suffered a miscarriage during the first trimester of her pregnancy with her fifth child. She lost her 7th child a few weeks before his 1st birthday due to an unknown sickness that even doctors weren't able to revive. It was so sudden and unexpected. He got sick in the afternoon. He was sent to the hospital at night and went back home the next day, dead and cold. It wasn't just devastating to her as a mother but to the whole family.

"Sometimes you don't realize your strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness."

A mother's greatest weakness is losing a child, and we never expected it to happen to our family. However, death is untimely and we don't own our life, so we need to move on. But that became her strength.

She seemed to have moved on easily when she lost her unborn child. But it took her a long time to recover from the loss of her baby. I've seen her wailing silently, shedding tears but soundless. The sense of pensive sadness, grief, and guilt were all painted on her face. As a daughter, it was too painful for me to see my mother in despair and sorrow. She has been our strength, but seeing her weak made us weak as well.

Only mothers who have lost a child know how painful it is. For the sake of her remaining children, she stood stronger and continued being a mother.

"Being a mother is learning strengths you didn't know you had, and dealing with fears you didn't know existed." -Linda Wooten

Her weaknesses became her strengths. And her past experiences, sufferings, and pains had even strengthened her resilience.

If there's one thing that I got from her, it's being resilient and hardworking. And I'm proud to be her daughter.

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This is really emotional and encouraging at the same time. Your mother is a super woman, there are mothers that'd abandon children when they figure the father is no where around or doesn't show much care especially with more than a dozen children but your mother didn't give up. She really deserves the whole world. She's amazing!

Beautiful entry Jane. Good luck

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I am so deeply moved by the story of your mother. Our mothers are usually the first woman we look up to. Seeing her inspired you and made you who you are now @jane1289.
Your mom is tough! 13 children is a lot. I can't imagine the pain she underwent in during her pregnancy, during labor, and raising you all into better people.
It's nice to have a mom like yours! Salute!

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Thanks !LADY it wasn't easy for her, especially that most of the time, our father was away. Oftentimes, I wonder how she gets through the sufferings and sacrifices. But a responsible mother would do anything for the sake of her children. And you know what she often gets sick. I guess I got sick more than her 😂..

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Really? That’s really unfortunate if she gets sick easily. Bilhan mo na sya vitamins and you too, stay healthy

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Dati yun..ngayon matanda na nagkakasakit na..amay symptoms of diabetes na..

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Your mother is indeed a resilient woman, tge pains she has passed through are really something that not just anyone can become victorious in the end but she was. I'm so happy your mother was able to face her weakness and played her role to you and your siblings.

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Thanks.. That tells why I want to succeed. To give a comfortable life to my mother

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I pray you succeed because I'm certain you will always be there for those who will be in need of your help and that is what God wants.

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Would you believe me if I say we are thirteen siblings in the family?

😱😱😱 13? That's a lot!

The problem with having lots of kids is that it becomes very difficult to look after them and it's even worse if one parent is away and the burden falls on the other. But your mother excelled greatly in taking care of you guys, she had to make a lot of sacrifices to ensure her children are well taken care of, she's a super mom

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I thought you know it? I guess I mentioned it before on read haha... And guess what, there are many naughty kids in our family..glad my mother didn't turn crazy 😂😂.. She has long patience I must say..something I admire too about her.

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(Edited)

That's why I said she's a super mom. We are just 5 children in my family and I know the stress we gave our mom when we were little 😆 I can't even imagine handling 13 kids, she's really strong to have kept it together

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Naiiyak ako sa kwento mo ate, ung mama mo kamuka ni mama ko huhu. Grabe ung andami nyo na magkakapatid pero mas pinili pa din ng father mo ung mangibang bahay. Parang gusto kong kwestyunin ano pang kulang sainyo ate. Salute kay mother dear!! Buti napabalik nya ung dad mo no. Are they living now good terms ate?

Deserve ni mother earth mo lahat ng love sa mundo.

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Yup..retire na si papa..matagal na yun...tumatanda na rin, kya nagbabago, bumabait 🤣.. Well, no one will take care of her if he gets sick, but only us. !LADY

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Only mothers who have lost a child know how painful it is. For the sake of her remaining children, she stood stronger and continued being a mother.

Truer words have never been spoken 🙏

Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. And kudos to all mothers out there ❤️

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Life Doesn't Come With A Manual. It Comes With A Mother

Very much true like one million percent. LOL. Your mum is such an inspiration!
!PIZZA

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This is so touching and emotional to me sincerely and I feel the resilience spirit in your mother. Taking care of thirteen children isn't a simple or easier task but she proved her motherhood journey to be never relenting one. She fought for her family through prayer and God intervened.

I love the title of your post and I have learnt something today. True and great mothers would guide their children in the best way.

"Sometimes you don't realize your strength until you come face to face with your greatest weakness."

👌👌

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It's hard to raise a single child. And it's a hundred times harder to raise more than a dozen children..thanks !LADY

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Salute to all mothers out there, or should I say to all ladies out there 🥰

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Got teary-eyed while reading. Being a mother I can relate to her. Even just thinking of losing a child, i think I'll lose my mind but your mom went through it and stayed strong coz she knew you and your siblings needs her. Grabe! Amazing woman!

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A wonderwoman..that's how I call her.. 😊

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The effort and sacrifice of a mother are so underrated. Kudos to all of the moms out there. Got teary-eyed while reading this.

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Kudos to all mothers tlga..kung wala sla, wala tyo dto

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Thirteen children, my God! How did he manage to educate them all? I have no children, only two nephews, here in the same city, and when they come to spend the night, they turn my apartment upside down.

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Haha.. That's chaos..
Others are still studying in secondary school. Some are turning to college next year . It's tough to send them all to school, but for their future, we are doing our best to give them the education they want.. I give financial support to them..

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(Edited)

Oh my. Your mum like all great mothers is a queen and I am ready to fight whomever thinks otherwise. So much of her pain is familiar but I wouldn't know what it is like to lose a child.

I am sure your being around to see what was happening to her affected you and I would understand why. And so I am sending the both of you love for conquering a time that seemed impossible to ❤️

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She went through a lot but glad she weathered them all. Hirap din talaga pinagdaanan nya. And her stories and that of others prove that things, people and circumstances change. And it's good to draw courage from their experiences when we are challenged.

!LADY

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Salute to your Mother madam for enduring them all. She's a mother kaya talagang isip nya is for her own kids. Naiisip ko lang, I can never be a mothe talaga ee. Doko ata kakayanin.

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I know how to become a mother, so I don't like tobecome one 😂

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Mother! That word mere seem ordinary but what it holds never is. Mothers are our first superheroes, doctors, teachers, finance manager, helpers, counselors, and all other professions. They are brave and would rather starve than see a child of theirs not satisfied. I am so happy you had a great woman as your mother.

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And I am so grateful for having her... I guess no other mother can take care of a bunch of kids without getting insane haha

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One kid now can make you go to work with spoon and pot 😂😂

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Aww while reading through Dreemport, I just knew now that your father betrayed your mother, too? Pareho pala tayo ng piangdadaan sis. Ang martir din pala ng mama mo noh. Pinagkaiba lang is wala syang dalang anak. Sakin, as in dalawa pa. Kung isa lang sana, sabihin natin that was a mistake, pero naging dalawa pa eh. Like nagbubukod ng pamilya, iniwan kami sa province tatlo magkakapatid tapos nung pumunta Manila papa ko, naging instant lima kami.

Perhaps, I learned to be resilient, too because of my mother. She has been my inspiration to bounce back without gruudges in my heart. Kahit ganun nagawa ni papa, pinatawad ko naman sya at hindi naman kami nya pinabayaan, he was there to provide us with our needs, pero ayun nga walang katumbas ang financial support when it comes to physical presence.

Oh em gee, bat ang hugot ko ngayon. Huhu

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Jusme..madami na nga kami..magdadala pb sya? Haha..bka hndi ko matanggap yun.. Pero nka isip ako dati, panu kya kung may anak si papa sa iba, tapus pagtanda na namin malalaman 😂.. May ganung case kc haha

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Haha. Cguro matatanggap mo na yun sia pag matanda ka na. Walang kasalanan yung bata, isa stang anghel.
Hehe

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Gosh by the end of this I just want to hug your mother, what an incredible woman!

I've had three children, my first passed away shortly after she was born. The grief of losing a child is so immense, that I cannot fathom having many small people depending on me through it. The hallmark of motherhood is finding a way, and it sounds like your mom is a shining example of that. I'm sure she made it through the loss of a child, a terrible potentially fatal storm, and the abandonment from your father, because she HAD to... yet the credit lies not in the love of a mother alone, but in her ability as a woman to persevere! Your mom is now my hero as well, thank you for sharing this amazingly moving post @jane1289 ❤️

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Sorry for the late notice !LADY.
And thank you. All mothers are heroes. It's just that, some tend to sacrifice more as they thought it's the best thing to do as a mother.
I know you are a persevering person too. Stay strong 😊

!LUV

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This is great and inspiring! Well done to your mother.

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Your mom is a beautiful and inspirational woman. Her love for her children is palpable and epitomises the selfless love that parents do have for their children. I am sorry that she had to go through such heartache losing 2 children and her husband at various times, and that you and your siblings had to experience that alongside her. This was a gorgeous homage to your mom, Jane. Her resilient character definitely shines through under your narrative💗 !PIZZA !hivebits

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Thank you.. She's my top inspiration and the reason why I am working hard 😊..

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Ah... only if each baby is born with a written manual... but that is not the case.
True, the mothers are the guiding lights of the children. They may not be perfect, but their perseverance and resilience can get a family through difficult times.

I can't imagine the pain your mother wenth through after losing two of her kids.
I saw the pain when my wife had a miscarriage with our first baby... your mother endured that pain twice!
And here you are, a hard working daughter, a talented writer... a proof that despite all the pain your mother went through, she was strong and resilient enough to raise a big family.
Salute and respect to your mother.

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Thanks ya..although she's not done with her responsibilities up to this time, that's a burden I want to remove from her so she could rest well..
!PIZZA !HIVEBITS

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