A non-silent night / Una noche no silenciosa - The Ink Well Prompt #33: Shadows


Imagen de Kei Rothblack en Pixabay

This is my entry for The Ink Well Prompt #33: Shadows

I'm not used to writing suspense or horror, life is so full of that that I prefer to write stories about adventures with a touch of humor, however, I will do my best to fulfill what is required.

At first, I thought about writing something longer but I realized that in a few words you can make the reader play more with their imagination.

Muffled screams and shrieks spread through the neighborhood.

Locked in her closet, a girl kept pressing her knees to her chest waiting for the nightmare to end. Beads of cold sweat trickled down her neck unnoticed, tears clouded her reddened and swollen eyes, but did not prevent her from failing to perceive the shadow of the lifeless being crawling under the closet doors. His erratic, lethargic footsteps carried him from one side to the other, sniffing, searching incessantly and anxiously to appease his insatiable appetite with the warm flesh of a young girl.

Sara held her desperate cries between her hands. The exasperated pounding of her heart and her agitated breathing did not overshadow the constant snapping of a bloodthirsty jaw.

After 5 minutes of waiting, maybe 20, time had lost its meaning, silence reigned again inside the room.

The girl sharpened her senses and after making sure, her trembling hand carefully turned the doorknob. The hinges squealed, causing her eyes to close for a few seconds to a heartbreaking end.

There were no footsteps or grunts in response. The blood returned to her face as well as her breath. Crawling stealthily she peeked into the hallway as cautiously as possible. The wandering shadow was still inside her house, but it was in another room.

The front door was open, open to the safety of the night, away from danger. That instant was the moment, the opportunity to escape, she couldn't hesitate any longer.

She walked slowly towards salvation, without making the slightest noise. She crossed the corridor looking directly towards her goal, so as not to notice the corpses lying in the room. A few steps from freedom, unexpectedly, the cell phone on the coffee table vibrated loudly, jumping thunderously on the floor.

A message flashed on the screen: "Run away! There's a zombie in your house"

Screams and shrieks filled the silence of the night again.

See you next time...





Esta es mi entrada para The Ink Well Fiction Prompt #33: Sombras

No estoy acostumbrado a escribir suspenso o terror, la vida está tan llena de eso que prefiero escribir historias sobre aventuras con un toque de humor, sin embargo, haré mi mejor esfuerzo por cumplir con lo requerido.

Al principio pensé en escribir algo más largo pero me di cuenta que en pocas palabras se puede hacer que el lector juegue más con su imaginación.

Gritos y alaridos amortiguados se extendían por el vecindario

Encerrada en su armario, una chica seguía apretando sus rodillas contra su pecho en espera de que la pesadilla acabara. Las gotas de sudor frío bajaban por su cuello sin ser percibidas, las lágrimas nublaban sus ojos enrojecidos e hinchados, pero no evitaban dejar de percibir la sombra del ser sin vida que se arrastraba bajo las puertas del armario. Sus pasos erráticos y aletargados lo llevaban de un lado al otro, olfateando, buscando incesante y ansioso por calmar su insaciable apetito con la tibia carne de una jovencita.

Sara contenía sus gritos desesperados entre sus manos. El golpeteo exasperado de su corazón y su agitada respiración no opacaban el constante chasquido de una mandíbula sedienta de sangre.

Tras 5 minutos a la expectativa, quizás 20, el tiempo había perdido su significado, el silencio reinó de nuevo dentro de la habitación.

La chica agudizó sus sentidos y tras asegurarse, su mano temblorosa giró con cuidado el picaporte. Las bisagras chillaron, haciendo que sus ojos se cerraran por unos segundos ante un final desgarrador.

No hubo pasos ni gruñidos como respuesta. La sangre volvió a su rostro así como su respiración. Gateando sigilosamente se asomó al pasillo lo más cautelosa posible. La sombra errante seguía dentro de su casa, pero se encontraba en otra habitación.

La puerta principal estaba abierta, abierta hacia la seguridad de la noche, lejos del peligro. Ese instante era el momento, la oportunidad de escapar, no podía seguir dudando.

Caminó despacio hacia la salvación, sin hacer el menor ruido. Atravesó el pasillo mirando directamente hacia su objetivo, para no fijarse en los cadáveres que yacían en la sala. A unos pasos de la libertad, inesperadamente, el celular sobre la mesita de café vibró enérgicamente, saltando estruendosamente sobre el suelo.

Un mensaje resaltaba sobre la pantalla: "¡Huye! Hay un zombi en tu casa"

Gritos y alaridos llenaron nuevamente el silencio de la noche.

Hasta la próxima.



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14 comments
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This is horrible, really horrible in the sense that it evokes horror in the reader. We do so want the girl to get away. But you do not let us off the hook. Well written, well drawn scene.
We appreciate that you plan to read and comment on the stories of other writers. We look forward to enjoying those comments. Thank you for posting this story in the Ink Well community.

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My goodness, for a moment I thought you disliked the story! 😳

Well written, well drawn scene.

Thank you. I appreciate your kind words 😊

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That was intense! I can almost feel Sara's fear and the courage it took to walk and try to escape. You were right, my imagination was playing around with different scenarios in my mind. Good job on this well written piece. :)

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Soooo good
Felt that moment when she braved it up and opened the door with closed eyes waiting for the end - that would be me haha
With a prayer on my lip

That darn telephone- rooting for Sara to get out safe

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I think the girl did it more out of survival or fear than courage. And, you know, what are friends for? They always send us a text message when we don't need it 😂

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Hello @jadams2k18,
I appreciate brevity. That's my style. In very few words you managed to scare the daylights out of me. Really well done, especially for someone who doesn't like to write horror.

It's good to stretch your creative muscles and do something unfamiliar.

BTW: The title is fantastic!

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Thank you very much for your kind words

It's good to stretch your creative muscles and do something unfamiliar.

You're right! But I still don't like horror 😜

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Wow, for a person who does not like to write horror, you did so well, @jadams2k18. Nice job creating suspense and terror as Sarah must wait for the opportune moment to escape... hopefully unnoticed... but oh that damned cell phone!

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Thanks! 😊

but oh that damned cell phone!

Maybe they use the same cellular service providers in my country, where you send a text message and it arrives 12 hours later. 😂

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Poor child, she had the courage to come out unscathed.

For not liking horror, I found it a precise story, which captivates the reader's suspense without extending in horrifying scenes.

Congratulations @jadams2k18

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Thank you very much for your nice comment.

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