Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1143)

Hello Everyone!

Another brief entry, Engagement is good when it is engaging, More naps less haggardness & Bob Backwards gets a roommate!

Alright, I am beginning the writing a wee bit earlier than usual... and hopefully in so doing... I can avoid feeling overly fatigued later on when it is time to do the editing and posting. I am also going to pause after finishing writing this paragraph... and put my reading glasses on since it seems that doing so helps tremendously with alleviating any frustration occurring... as I do the typing itself.

I have no idea why it just popped into my head... but I really miss writing longer entries and feel rather apologetic that I have not done it that often over the last year. Honestly, I think that folks 'bar' for a long post being a ten to fifteen minute read... is quite laughable and sort of wish that they would call it what it truly is... a short attention span on their part!

For what it is worth I get it... because the 'hook' for instant gratification... and seeking it out in every aspect of modern life... has been firmly seated in folks psyche to such a degree... and thoroughly normalized... to the point that... anything else is an aberration... to be avoided at all costs! A good example of that is my need to pepper my writing with three periods... just to make it easier on folks to consume... what to me... is an already abbreviated train of thought.

Some of the above is humor and some of that is of course the stark reality of generation after generation... being spoon-fed the notion that we must all hurry through life... earning... consuming... earning... consuming some more... and then quietly dying... without challenging one iota of the status quo along the way. Perhaps what folks need to do... is encourage 'larger minds' and not 'shorter content' but hey what do I know.

As I have alluded to before... I often try to phrase things in these entries in such a way that they discourage me having to engage with folks afterwards. What I have probably not explained... is that my tendency to do that has more to do with not wanting to get bogged down by lengthy exchanges... that eat up all my time... more than anything else.

I think that when folks are insincere it makes it easy to have brief interactions... that amount to a 'upvote, like or whatever' or to just spend a few brief seconds typing a reply in as few words as possible. For folks that are sincere though... well... everything is meaningful... and it takes real effort to see other folks point of view, understand the culture they are in (and how it influences their responses) and do their best to respond accordingly from there.

In other words knowing that I have those kinds of tendencies to do what many might call 'over engaging' or 'over sharing' and also having limited time that I can invest on one thing or another... I like my strategy of just not leaving a whole lot of room for commentary. I also have a frigging writing addiction to consider and the last thing I truly need is more reasons to indulge in it.

All that said, I made a conscious choice recently to both communicate and engage more... so if it seems like there are now more openings in the writing for said commentary... it is because there are. Please do not get it twisted though... because I assuredly will continue on... much in the manner that I have... without asking folks direct questions (in these entries) along the way... because any writer 'worth their salt' tends to inspire questions... and not have to constantly ask them.

I guess that 'sincerity' itself is in short supply these days... and often gets viewed as some kind of ruse (or tool) by others to 'get what they want' so I assuredly understand how difficult it is to recognize the genuine thing. The absurdity of having to distinguish (with each interaction) how sincere someone's sincerity is... is not lost on me by any stretch of the imagination.

It is kind of wild (or just oddly peculiar) that mere moments after deciding to engage (and communicate more) the other day... that I found myself reading some commentary that was (how do I put it) obviously being made from a place of sincerity. To top it off... and I guess to drive its significance of occurring home... it was even well articulated commentary... which is something that I truly enjoy!

Not to wax poetic here too much... but yeah it was very inspiring... and it assuredly reaffirmed that I was on the right track with thinking that I should reach out more. My only hang up in it all is of course the inevitable stigma of 'being a guy talking to a gal online' and all the weird crud that seems to arise when that occurs between strangers these days.

Thankfully, I did not glean any of that from our exchanges (thanks there for sparing me the drudgery) but given that it is all in a public forum... I sure know that some folks are just going to project their internal crap all over what is/was a healthy exchange of ideas and views. Get over yourselves and let me reiterate one more time that: Some folks are just nice!

There is actually a quote from Star Trek that I often think of when it comes to that stuff... and although I will not include the entirety of said quote here... or its context... the most important part goes like this:

"... It took me a while to realize it. Like a lot of people, I was too caught up in first impressions to see the truth that was right in front of me. I overlooked his bravery because I was focusing on his brashness. I ignored his courage because I saw it as arrogance. And I resented his friendliness because I mistook it for licentiousness. So, while this man was giving us his best every minute of every day, I was busy judging him. And now, he's leaving."

Thankfully, I am well versed in how folks tend to rush to make such judgments about others... and thus tend to look past them... which to be frank has been incredibly challenging to do on this platform given the level of scrutiny some folks put others under... all while never looking at how they themselves appear/behave... or using their 'weight/stake/influence' to make sure no one looks too closely at them... and their own motives.

The truly ludicrous part to it all... is that while I will on occasion be a wee bit flirtatious (not that I have been recently) it has often been in an effort to boost folks morale and not to actually 'flirt' with them in a traditional sense. Like it or not compliments, praise and albeit healthy minded admiration... goes a long frigging way to help folks feel better... and mayhaps more importantly... just feel better about themselves.

I know that much of that could be taken as 'virtue signaling' and although I still have not figured out what is wrong with being virtuous... that is a different topic altogether... and I best not let myself get sidetracked by it all. My point is... that I lived a very public life for a very long time (before this phase of my life) and not only did I pass many a 'purity test' along the way... I also found myself taking on roles that carried incredible duty and responsibility to ensure folks were not abusing each other... or themselves for that matter.

In other words transitioning from those scenarios and communities of people (who entrusted me with so much... knowing that I would not abuse said trust) to this community (I mean the Hive community at large there) was quite eye opening for me. There was also no one here that 'had my back' (so to speak) and the funny thing is... I enjoyed the challenge of carving out my own niche... earning my keep... and letting others figure out the true measure of my character on their own... or simply writing me off along the way.

None of that is to 'toot my horn' or anything... but more to highlight that it has been quite the journey... and often times the challenges to my character (and how folks have treated me) has been incredibly illuminating... about their own character. There are even some folks who refuse to join this platform (or participate in it) due to said treatment... and what I guess that they would term as 'the behaviors of the elites' on here... yet they still love reading my entries (and commentary) simply because they find it all so amusing... given how well they know my antics (and history) when it comes to dealing with communities of people.

To sort of wind that topic down... I should say that most folks who actually know me... know that if I have 'lost patience' and chosen to 'take the kid gloves off' then there is probably a damned good reason for it. They also tend to know that said 'damned good reason' generally revolves around helping others... and not harming others... or even helping others not to harm others. Given that distinguishing between those things is highly subjective... I equally tend to temper my responses to those judging me over said behaviors... but I think that is enough of an exploration of that particular 'rabbit warren' for this entry and encourage folks to draw their own conclusions... or not... as the case may be.

I got way off on a tangent there... and had no intent of delving into all that stuff but there you have it. Suffice it to say that I am simply a person who experienced too many abuses of power throughout my life... and subsequently realized long ago that no matter the cost... I will always rise to the occasion... stick my neck out there... speak my peace and if push comes to shove... put my metaphorical foot in either one or many folks ass with zero fucks given about any potential retribution... or threats of retribution. To do otherwise would just be more soul crushing than I am willing to bear.

Anyways, this morning I got up not long after sunrise... and immediately dove into reading and engaging on Hive and although I did my best to 'break away' from it all by noon... it was nearly one o'clock (or not long after) that I actually could break away. All of which was fine... because it was rather frigid outside and all my activities over the last several days had my muscles feeling downright achy.

I think that the main thing that got me was all the firewood that I gathered up to have that new year's eve fire... because even while doing it I could tell that dragging the loaded wagon around was giving my muscles quite the workout. I also ran low on firewood at one point (because it was colder than I had anticipated) and I wound up hiking around (in the dark) collecting some large (semi-waterlogged) pine logs from some of the various places that I have them piled up at... and failed to use the wagon whilst doing it.

Once I was done with all the Hive stuff this afternoon... I also took my own (inadvertent) advice and took a nap so that I could 'reset my mind' for the day. All that engagement and thinking sure can wear on me... and although it often wears on me in a good way... it is still a bit mentally exhausting to endeavor upon... hence why I have artfully dodged it for all these years!

While I was laying there half-awake... I had a small epiphany that over the previous year I had really slacked on my napping routines... and that it also may be playing a part in why my morale has been so low. I still think that there is something off in my dietary needs... but taking more naps (to see what happens with my morale) is one of those things that I can 'fix' without the need of more money... that I do not really have at my disposal in the first place.

We will see what kind of effects that I notice over the coming weeks... because I am going to try to somehow schedule in more naps... which is easier said than done given how I keep bingeing out on my coding projects. As a side note... I am still 'taking a step back' from them (like I mentioned that I was going to do) but I think that while this super cold weather lasts I am going to dive back into them in the next day or so.

On a different note. I have noticed recently that Emily (the hen) and Bob (the rooster) have taken to shunning Esmeralda (the hen that the dogs scolded recently) and they do not even let her roost with them at night. Which is kind of sad because she really is such a sweet bird (even if she is a bit overprotective of her eggs) and while that would not be a big deal during the warmer months... it has had me concerned for her during this recent cold snap.

The straw that finally broke the proverbial camel's back on it all was last night... when I saw her go under the coop and 'go to ground' there for the evening. Previously she had just been roosting on the floor of the coop (away from the other two birds) but I guess that she wanted the warmth of the ground to keep her warm... and maybe not to be hassled if I forgot to open the coop first thing in the morning.

I had also noticed that she has been spending a lot of time hanging out beneath the other rooster (Bob Backwards) pen and also kind of 'lurking' near him throughout the day. So, I took a gamble on his temperament having improved (which I noted months ago that I thought it had) and caught her while she was sleeping under his pen today... and put her in there with him.

To say that he was 'ecstatic' at gaining a roommate for the evening would be an understatement... and it was rather heartwarming watching him strut around... and more or less being a show off to her... as she pecked away at the food in his trough. Aside from gently pecking her on the head a single time the moment that I put her in there (as roosters are wont to do) he showed no other signs of aggression!

Although I only watched them long enough to ensure that she was not in danger... I never heard any ruckus afterwards... and he did not even do any crowing at sunset like he usually does. I think that over the coming weeks that I am going to work on expanding the coop... and try to get things setup in such a way that come spring time (when the hens start laying eggs again) that it can also be safe/accommodating for chicks.

Okay, I think that I need to wind this entry down and get to working on the editing and posting portion of things. My apologies if this entry is not quite that long... but if I start the editing, proofreading and posting process now... I can keep my time invested to just under five hours... and call it a night before the hour grows super late.

I sincerely hope that folks are doing well, are treating others and being treated with kindness and finding the new year as interesting as I am. Ta ta for now and have a nice time.

Another cold but pretty day!

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