Apocalyptic Homesteading (Day 1140)

Hello Everyone!

Peeling back the layers, The cost of speaking up, An experiment to try & A chilly day!

Alright, the sun has not quite set over the horizon yet... so I am doing good with staying on track with my writing routines... even though I kind of do not want to write anything at all this evening. That five hour and ten minute slog to get my last entry made... left me feeling less inclined to invest myself today than I thought that it would... but meh... here I am nonetheless.

I dunno if I really have it in me at all tonight... given that I was up until nearly dawn... and the four hours of sleep that I got was 'fitful' at best. All that I can really say in that regard... is that sometimes I wish that my brain did not peel away layers of ideas/thoughts as if they were part of an onion... in an attempt to reach the 'center' where some kind of 'truth' may or may not reside.

There is also the fact that my overall morale is in the gutter after losing the fickle amount of support that I had on here... largely due to speaking my mind. Well, that is not quite the right way to say it... and a better way would probably be: Due to speaking my mind in such a way that my words, thoughts and insights could by no measure of the word be misinterpreted.

If more folks spoke freely on this platform without fear of losing supporters or incurring the wrath of the 'elites' (insert ridiculous cackling laughter) the place would surely be better off than it is. I get it though, because folks come here to 'earn' and most folks actually need those earnings... no matter how meager they might be... so yeah... I totally get it.

The thing is though, is that if silence (or just not speaking up) is the price of admission... what the heck are we all doing here in the first place? Generally speaking when a community's actions fail to align with its espoused ethos... then it is not really a community at all... or at least not one that is worth the headache of being a part of.

I know that folks often view me as some kind of malcontent... or even worse an antisocial person (nothing against those who are antisocial there) but if they knew how off the mark that they were harboring such a sentiment... I wonder if their heads would spin upon learning the truth of the matter. Not that it is either 'here nor there' but if that makes things easier to swallow for folks... then run with it... because no amount of 'pigeon holing' me changes the facts. As I have said before such behaviors reveal more about those doing said 'pigeon holing' than it ever will about me.

By and large if I have chosen to 'take the kid gloves off' and speak my personal truth... then I am well past the point of exhausting my patience (and tolerance) with folks behaviors... and their opinion of me is less than meaningless at that juncture. The truth is I know how easy it is to then discredit me by pointing at me (metaphorically speaking) and say: Oh, him... yeah he is just crazy. Or words to that effect.

If you do not understand the advantages of being underestimated, written off and disregarded by those you are 'going up against' (challenging) then I dunno if I can explain it to you. Lets just say that (unlike many) I want to be viewed as weak, powerless and albeit vulnerable... or even stupid... just long enough to get close enough... to prove why those were some really bad assumptions to make about my character.

It is called guile... and for better or worse... I happen to have that in abundance... yet unlike many I use it responsibly... instead of wasting it on being a charlatan. All of which is more than can be said for a lot of folks that I know of on this blockchain... and albeit in the world at large. I also make no secret about it and own it as just a part of my character... as flawed as that may be.

Having any sort of 'moral compass' in this day and age that is unhooked from religion, politics or both (insert bile rising at the back of my throat) tends to be viewed as some kind of sham... but let me tell you there are plenty of 'us' that have such a compass... and 'we' watch it closely. To do otherwise would be downright irresponsible... and especially so as the world continues to grow increasingly unstable... and folks grow ever more desperate.

The truth is that most folks do not know the true measure of themselves... because although they may 'clutch at the pearls' of their ideas about themselves... without those ideas ever being put to the test... they are merely vapid postulations. Or even worse... and possibly more dangerous... they are merely ego driven false assertions that often wind up harming themselves (or others) whilst they try to exercise them... in an effort to prove they are true!

It is kind of like when folks picture themselves going out into the bush alone, living in the wild and not just surviving but thriving... with the barest minimum of necessities. Sure it makes for a good weekend camping excursion (and maybe some good stories afterwards) but once the days turn into weeks... only a few can actually endure it.

In other words most folks should enjoy their fantasies that they could endure such a lifestyle and maybe (to some small measure) even live said fantasies out... just to see what happens. That said though, they should also have a solid plan for dealing with emergencies... and a plan to retreat back to the 'warmth and convenience' of civilization... as fast as possible.

Believe me (or not) it is a thousand times harder than folks think it is to 'unhook' themselves from the ingrained habits that the modern world instills in folks. I know that I have said this before... but one of my favorite experiments (to prove that point) is the one where I recommend that folks turn off the valves to the water lines of their kitchen and bathroom sinks... with the idea of leaving them off for a few days. Then see just how many times they turn the faucet on to get water... even after they knowingly turned the water off. Try it... see what happens... and let me know how it goes.

Anyways, I got a bit side tracked there earlier on because I double checked the weather forecast... and saw that it had been updated since I last looked at it... and yup it is going to freeze tonight. So, I stopped writing, bundled up in some warm clothes and hiked around getting the water system drained before the hour grew too late.

The hike was actually really nice... and it did wonders to 'clear my mind' but whoa was it getting chilly out there quickly... so I made as quick of work of it as possible. All in all, the whole day was like that because every time that I went outdoors... it was chillier than the time before! At least the wind died down today so that was nice... but it still was not nice enough out there to make having a fire all that appealing.

Well, on that note ta ta for now.