No one person is indispensable - but all people are important

“Hey, you”. It was my best friend, David. He pushed past me into the house and immediately noticed the nylon of junk sitting conspicuously on my locker. “What's this?...” he asked, rummaging through it. “Treasure, you don't eat junk unless something is wrong.”

I lifted my shoulders in a shrug.

“I just feel like eating them.”

He eyed me warily, taking the seat close to the window so he could study me properly to detect if I was lying.

“Why did you blacklist my line? You thought I wouldn't know?” I hadn't just blacklisted his line, I also did so to everyone who tended to reach out to me during that period. I had just felt like being alone. What I didn't remember was that some of those people had my house address.

I thought then that David would yell at me for causing himself and my female best friend who was sick at the time to worry about me but instead, he sat next to me on the bed and let me rest my head on his shoulder.

That was all I needed to tell him how much of a liability I was suddenly feeling like.

“I think I am the luckiest guy to have you in my life and Treasure, she cannot spend 30 minutes without you in her space. You think anyone would stick around a liability like that?”

I knew he was right but somehow, I wasn't just feeling like I achieved anything that year.

“I know how many times just the sight of you has fixed a day going bad for me, when I went to see Treasure, she said it's you she wanted to see, I had to pretend like I wasn't jealous. Girl, you have a magical aura. That's enough achievement for a lifetime.”

“You think my family would share your thoughts?”

“No, I think they would have a better opinion. Who takes care of your sister's kids better than you do? Who is your mom's favorite gist partner? Who is your younger brother’s partner in crime? Dude, you're famous!”

I had to laugh there. He smacked my arm and warned me never to blacklist him again, then he took me out to get a plate of my favorite Yoruba meal, Amala.

As I sat there gulping down the brown balls dipped in peppery soup, I looked at David who was sitting just across from me, reporting me to Treasure on a video call, and realized that I had real friends.

Instead of becoming excited, a strange feeling suddenly gripped me. What if I didn't have David to check on me in the next few months? What if we left school and Treasure found other friends? What if my niece and nephew became fond of someone else because I had been away for a long time?

I knew these people loved me, but what if it didn't last?

From that day, I began to ensure that I wasn't doing anything to upset any of them. I even stopped teasing Treasure and David so they wouldn't pick offense. I began to call my sister every weekend so I could talk to her children to confirm that they were still as excited about me as they used to be.

I didn't realize I was doing something off until I heard Benson Boone’s ‘Beautiful Things’. When he got to the second part of the song, I opened my mouth in wonder. It was like he was reading my mind but with melody.

“...Oh I'll tell ya, I know I've got enough
I've got peace and I've got love
But I'm up at night thinking
I just might lose it all….”
Benson Boone - Beautiful Things

Somehow, hearing someone else say the same words I thought almost every day made me realize how wrong that feeling was. I had to be grateful for the beautiful things in my life, not stepping on eggshells around them.

I took the earphones out of my ears then took a deep breath and made a list of the things I wanted to do for everyone I loved. I decided that would be my way of keeping them henceforth, instead of dying with self-generated fear.

After all, according to my mother, “The things that are mine would last forever”.