Every piece of music has a spirit to it
Every piece of music has a spirit to it! My mom said this all the time when we were growing up. She would chide us whenever she heard us singing songs that didn't sound edifying or lyrics with vulgar words, and whenever she got songs on CDs, they had to be either gospel or educative songs.
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I eventually grew to understand what she was always saying. It was the reason sorrowful songs were always played at funerals and romantic songs at weddings.
It made me choose my song list wisely. Sometimes, however, I came in contact with some songs that didn't match my value system and just couldn't get it out of my head.
It is this intentionality about what I listen to that makes me hold on to an artist when he sings one or two beautiful songs.
I had just been asked by one of my friends who was an avid writer like myself to suggest a song she could use for a scene where one lover had to bury the other. I requested some time from her and dug into my YouTube music app.
As I went through the song list they suggested, my eyes caught a familiar name. It was Benson Boone. I clicked on his song without thinking.
I had barely gone halfway through the first verse when I began to tear up. By the chorus, I was sobbing. I had never lost a lover before but the song painted a vivid picture in my mind.
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I had seen one or two of his music videos so it wasn't difficult for my brain to bring up an image of him grieving. I clutched my chest as the weight of the pain he felt hit me from every line.
It didn't stop at feeling Benson Boone's pain, I remembered my grandmother who I had lost a short while ago and couldn't control breaking down completely into tears.
I wondered what my roommate would say if she returned from school to meet me shedding almost uncontrollable tears. We had recently seen a movie together where the major character who imparted everyone's life had to die due to an underlying health condition.
I held my lips together to control the laughter that threatened to burst from my already swelling lungs as she prayed to God that the young man should be healed.
“But it's just a movie,” I said when she got upset with me for laughing.
“Things like this happen in real life too,” she said, her voice shaky. It was then I realized she had been holding back tears. I had to pause the movie, put my arms around her, and tell her that it was okay.
I knew it was an act so it didn't move me to tears even when the guy eventually died and my roommate buried her face in her pillow and wept.
I heard her tell one of my friends the next day that I was the most cold-hearted lady she had met. I just found it difficult to relate to his death because it seemed out of my emotional reach.
Here I was, that same week, sobbing furiously just because of a song. I wiped my eyes, blew my nose, and downloaded the song so I could send it to my writer friend. I told myself that this was just a song, and I didn't know if it was real or not so there was no need to get all emotional.
I decided to delete the song after sending it to her. I didn't want to hear it on a random day, especially where my roommate was, and break into tears. But a part of the chorus kept resounding in my head.
“…I don't want to say goodbye cos this one means forever
Now you're in the stars and six feet’s never felt so far
Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers
Oh, it hurts so hard, for a million different reasons
You took the best of my heart and left the rest in pieces….” In The Stars - Song by Benson Boone
Instead of trying to fight hard against the emotions that were now pulling at my throat, threatening to tear me apart, I played the song one more time and allowed every tear to fall down my cheek, as much as it wanted.
When I finally felt calm, I sat down to reminisce on what had just happened. I was perfectly fine before I began to look for songs for my friend. I had listened to a few songs before my eyes fell on Benson Boone.
I couldn't tell why that song was so striking even when I couldn't relate to losing a lover, but whatever it was, I finally agreed with my mom about every song having a spirit, especially one from the artist.
Ps: I know I have written about this song before but I couldn't help doing it again and of course, a different memory inspired this