Boundaries, Betrayal, & the Unspoken 'No'
When I woke up a few days ago and saw a writing job application recommendations link from him, I chuckled hard;
"Boy, you got to be kidding me", I said to myself.
The way he wants to waltz back into my life is remarkable and at the same time annoying. If he feels it will take a writing application to get me to start being friends with him again, then, he's gone head over heels because that's not happening.
I have learned to keep enemies as enemies because Robert Greene has taught me that it's better to have enemies than to have friends. And it's a simple law that I always take for granted until it comes back to bite me in the ass.
When I say, every single time, I am serious. I have a lot of people who were once friends and are now enemies and I don't think I am ever going to be friends with them anymore.
Yes, I forgive but I don't forget. Forgetting would mean giving them another chance to hurt me again. And that's not something I want to do to myself. I have seen people making this mistake over and over again. Trusting someone again after they hurt you is offering them a second half to play and score while you go home without the trophy.
Now I have told you that a lot of people have hurt me and suddenly become strangers. This means if I want to make a list, you will not be leaving my profile any time soon. So, I spare you the trouble.
Do you know that scenario where someone only calls or texts when they want something? I have a feeling that you do. This is something that happens to almost everyone as long as you are softhearted and a giver. I can't begin to count the number of people who do this.
I've had people who stayed with me for a few years, and some a few months and I can tell you the ingratitude I receive has made me say no to possible lodging help without feeling sorry. I have turned down a lot of requests to spend a few days, weeks, or months because of how I have been deeply hurt by the people I helped in the past.
No matter how pitiful your story is, I won't look at you twice in the face. The only respect I can give you is to listen attentively to your side of the story, once you are done, I'll let you know my answer is no. If you ask for my reasons I won't be obliged to give you one because I wouldn't want to bear my soul and heart to you about my past. Neither would I want to be taken down memory lane of those hurting moments which will definitely bring back tears to my eyes.
Besides, giving you a reason means letting you into the details. A detail if you are smart you can use against me. A detail you might suddenly know how to tailor and sweet tongue me into accepting to do something I vowed never to do again. To be on the safe side I'll keep the details of my "NO" away from you. This keeps both of us safe from getting manipulated and ending up getting hurt.
I know what I am saying might not make sense to you but it does to me.. I am just trying to write this post without revealing the details of those circumstances to you too. I know you are not here asking for accommodation for a few weeks, days, or months, so I'm sorry if I am treating you as such and deciding against sharing them
I can't begin to tell the tales of these incidents because I had decided to not hold it against them anymore but to forgive and just never allow it to happen again. So retelling what happened with whom and when is something I would love to share but I can't and I am sorry.