Inconveniencing other people makes me sick to my stomach
The last time I used all of my power as a result of lack of electricity, I wanted to pay the fare to my former area to pay and charge. Over there, we had one man that ran a charging plant. All you have to do is offer your phone and charger and he will do the rest. He will give you a number tag so you can retrieve your devices when you return. A stipulated amount is paid before you get your devices.
This new area that I recently relocated to does not seem to have a place that runs charging ports. I don't know if they do because I haven't seen one nor have I asked around. The truth is this is a somewhat rich zone. Where there are lots of families trying to outdo one another. So everyone has their generators or solar. And at every given point, they power it on.
I have been here for a while and my landlady puts on the generator every single time there is no light and it's almost becoming annoying.. lol. There are three different people though who power their generators. My neighbor, my landlady, and a compound directly opposite me. When all three do this, I am the one who suffers from the noise. This is because I am in the middle and their generators' positioning leaves me completely surrounded. So I wake up most time with headaches or live through the entire day with headaches as a result.
On that day when all hope of power was lost, I forgot my landlady will power on her generator as usual and all I needed to do was to knock and ask for help.
Source
Nope. I did not forget. I just didn't want to bother her. If not, my power bank or phone wouldn't have gotten that low. Since she does it every day and almost at all times. It means throughout the three to four days we had no power, she ran her generator throughout the day and even in the night. I should have at least charged my power bank the previous night when it was almost down..... But I did not want to bother them.
Even when my girlfriend had visited to see my new apartment in the early days, she pointed out I wouldn't need to pay and charge my devices anymore as was the case in my former area. What she did not know was that I had made a mental note to not even try that after she said it.... Hehehehe
One of those days, I decided to use my free time to go and visit my friend. I literally had nothing else to do so I played catch up with my girlfriend and the rest of the days I visited people I had known in the past and caught up with them.
That was the day I finally decided and muster up the courage to hand my power bank to one of my landlady's daughters to help me charge. I had a good feeling I'll have some amount of power by the time I got back. And I did. But the funniest thing is that when I returned our power source had been restored. This means if I was adamant enough I could have still not shown my foot on her doorstep to charge. I didn't want to take chances since I needed to publish the next day and I could have probably died of boredom without my phone to read stuff on Hive.
It's difficult for me to ask for help... And it's really becoming ... I don't know what to say.
I am not sure if this is something I should try to change. But I know that if I did ask for help more, my path would be less tedious and less stressful. I know I would receive lots of them because I render as much help as I can to a lot of people. Most time even it inconveniences me.
Apart from the fact that I offer more help than I ask to be offered, I have an aura that draws people to me. I tend to get liked in an instant after a few interactions or two. I don't know if I should ask for help more but my ego just wouldn't let me. I often do not want to spoil or bring friction to the relationship that I had created between these people and I
So the "one thing" I could do in my life, that would make every aspect, everything else, simpler would be asking for help here and there. It would definitely make me accomplish certain goals faster but pride is the reason I am stuck with most of the things I am stuck with. Or maybe it's because I don't like the feeling in my stomach that comes with inconveniencing or bothering other people. All I know is it takes a whole lot of courage for me to ask for help. Sometimes, it's always my last resort.
What do you think?
I'm not the person to give advice because I'm just like you. I prefer doing stuff myself and if I want to ask, I find every other reason or solution to not do. Yet, I'm the first to help people and do not mind if someone asks me for help. I think it's just how we're made up. I'm a little better now though. If I feel like I'm close to death for something, I will build up the courage.
I'd say, if the situation is dire, or if you're feeling overwhelmed, then don't be discouraged from asking someone who you feel close to to help you. Also, don't change the helpful person that you are:)
Thanks for your #KISS
I enjoyed it 😉
lips sealed
I am glad to know that you can relate. 🥺
I always find reasons not to ask too. Sometimes it blows up on my face. Other times it just creeps away when I ignore it.
I am hoping I'll get better at it as you have. Thank you for sharing your experience on this. 🔥
I understand ma'am. Thank you. ❣️
You're welcome.
Have a good day or night:)
This is the story of my life and trust me, it is not actually pride atleast for me, and i think for you too maybe???? It is just that i don't like bothering and inconveniencing others with my demand and another thing is i dont like to hear the word No when i ask for help so i always want to be sure most time before i ask for help....
ABout the light issue, i also ask around for where i can use money to charge but just like yours, it is a posh area and they dont do stuffs...
In my compound, my landlord on his gen every night, there are also neighbours that on their gen, but to go and knock on their door and say i want to charge look somehow to me, i cant go upstairs to knock on my landlord door either, and the one i could do was the gatekeeper as i have been relating with him since i came into the compound, i buy stuffs from him so it was easy asking him to charge for me in the room that ws bestowed to him....
Anyways i was planning to collect my gen from my sister but they have restored our light and i have taken my mind off that again till the light is faulty again😁
Clearly, I wanted to tell you how much I related to your post and it turned into a post of its own.
It's not pride really. It's something both of us are gotten used to. Helping others and then being afraid others might not do the same for you so we'll rather skip the asking part.
For the most part, it has made us (using us because I assume it happens to you too), to be self-reliant. And if it even looks as though someone wants to take advantage of the fact that we muster up the courage to ask them, we tell them to forget about it and move on.
Light has been an issue in this country and in this posh area I am living too, it's difficult to ask my posh neighbors to help me charge because it looks as though I am disturbing.
Thank you for coming around. This post was supposed to be my comment on your post. I am glad you found it regardless.
Being self reliant is wonderful but I know how many times I've been burnt or lost an opportunity because I couldn't just bring myself to asking someone so yeah, I can totally resonate with this. It's not something we're proud of but then again, we have no choice. For the most part, we may be considered leeches if we go to people with our issues so why not just stay put and try to solve it ourselves?
I get why asking for help from others makes you sick to your stomach, I do feels the time all the time I needed to ask for someone's help. Which most times this made me figure things out myself.
And when I see people that knows how to rely on others for help I just like their courage. I'm working on be learning how to relax abit and let others in to help when i'm in need.