Punday Monday 300!!!

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Welcome to Punday Monday!

Hi fellow Freewriters! We celebrated 2000 days of freewrite prompts on Friday, and today marks 300 weeks of Punday! It's a month of big number celebrations! Join in!

Please feel free to share any of your favorite puns from years past!

tl;dr

Make a pun about the topic of the week,
This week’s topic is Canoes!
Here's how to make a pun, if you don't know: https://peakd.com/contest/@improv/puns-and-prizes-learn-to-pun-easy-fun-anybody-can-be-a-hit-at-parties

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New To Punday?

Pull up a stool, order a spiked PUNch, and get to know some of the regulars. I'm your PUNtender, @improv.

How To Make a Pun

This contest is open to everyone. Here's a handy dandy guide on how to make a pun: Learn to Pun

Rules for the PUN-test:

  • If you hope to win a prize [1 100% upvote per punster, 2 HSBI for a win), your pun must be your original work
  • Puns must be relevant to the topic of the week to win a prize, but they can be very loosely related.

Last Week's Punday Monday:

Here is last week's Punday Monday, and all the puns that were eligible to win this week are in the comments!

Hang on to your PUNderwear. The Winner of This Week's PUNday Monday Is...

OH, WAS THAT NOT ENOUGH POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE FOR YOU?

How’s THIS:

DRUMROLL PLEASE…..

@quinnertronics!

This Week's Pun Topic Is:

Canoes
As in
Why did my parents yell in canoes? They were having a terrible row!

I'm So Good at Puns

If you've never punned before, it might seem like magic! You can do it, too! Learn how in My Free How-To Guide on Punning!

Related Content:

  • @freewritehouse offers writing and word-smithing contests every week
  • https://bit.ly/improvonpopin to join me on a gaming app where I host funny trivia on Sunday nights, and Spades, Hearts, and Liar’s dice on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
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17 comments
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Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard was getting ready for the big annual fishing trip: " I have this lovely green oar, and I love how it looks with the trees and bushes in the background when I am in the lake... But then I have this wonderful blue oar that looks so nice with the sky and the blue water. And I need to choose one, but then it hit me! Either oar! Either\Or! That was the birth of existentialism right there on that lake. I caught good fish, also that day."

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That was brilliant!

Later in life, when Søren Kierkegaard was sick in the hospital, he looked back upon his life with an admittance that he had suffered greatly. An individualist at heart, and a fighter of the Christian and Lutheran Church throughout his later years, in a twist of existential irony he questioned the utility of his efforts in the present and future: "Was my fight worth the toll of health? I got in a stern row with the Church, which keeps reeling for victims by paddling its rivers of lies; but, at least I caught some good fish."

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The American dialect of the English language is quite the fascinating experience for those that are not familiar with the language. Some of it is downright confusing.

I was in South Carolina recently and went to do what any respectable man would do: I went fishing. The guide I was working with, since I had never been there before, was quite the subject when it comes to incredible accents and deciphering what he was saying.

We got to the fishing spot and it was in the middle of nowhere but had some of the best fishing around. Billy had said to me “Canoe git me ma fishen pool ober deer so’s I cun git skwared away n reddy fa da boat?” The only thing that helped me was he pointed with the cigarette laiden hand and the pole was by itself. We ended up catching and skinning a gator, a fitful way to end the day.

‘Murica

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What do you call a Canadian in a canoe or kayak?

Canuck

Yukon also call them that when they are not in a canoe or kayak, eh.

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Billy Joel stopped creating new rock albums after "The River of Dreams." It's been rumored that all his songs fell into the river when he got in an accident with a kayak-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack.

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As a kid, my dad would always get upset if he caught us not taking extreme safety while handling our canoe equipment...he would even take our life preservers to the dry cleaner! This one time I remember was when I came back with a broken oar...I got a real good paddle after that one! 🛶

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Mrs. Tinyschlen brings her husband Mr. Tinyschlen to a marriage counselor.

"He's spending all of our money on things we can't afford. Just last weekend, he bought a huge boat and it's putting us in debt!" complained Mrs. Tinyschlen.

"Big boats are for big men, my dear," said Mr. Tinyschlen.

Replies Mrs. Tinyschlen, "Honey, you don't have a big boat. You have a little wooden canoe."

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What I get you called canoe to Canadian?
hmm 🤔

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Mr. Pennypincher is in trouble with his wife again, at the marriage counselor's office.

"What did he do this time, Mrs. Pennypincher?" asks the counselor.

"It's our Silver Anniversary, and he's being a cheap bastard again!"

"I bought you front row tickets, honey. You should be grateful," replied Mr. Pennypincher.

"That sounds nice. What were the front row tickets for?" asks the counselor.

Answers Mrs. Pennypincher, "A one-person canoe!"

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The canoes were so heavy with all the pizzas they were carrying that they sank to the bottom of the river, causing lots of hungry and angry fish to swarm around them.

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