Gridlock -5minutefreewrite

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For https://peakd.com/hive-161155/@mariannewest/day-1739-5-minute-freewrite-wednesday-prompt-gridlock

Whatever happened? I used to go above and beyond. It wasn't long, I suppose, in the grand scheme of things, but for multiple years I did every freewrite, did the most ambitious of the freewrite options on Saturdays, did we-writes, and nanowrimo and writing a script. I was writing writing writing

And now it's hard to get myself to do anything at all.

Ah, well. le sigh.

Like gridlock, man.

It's so many things. It's a loss of hope, I think? Maybe. But what led to that. I'm appropriating the term hope..or not appropriating, but... taking the more complex idea of hope that I've been hearing about and morphing it... It's a... It's harder to do things because I no longer think that the things I do will matter. Part of it is tiredness, but it's also that my brain has been focusing on all the projects I haven't finished instead of on ones I have. I've become disenchanted with anything I've actually DONE - seen how imperfect they are and begun to think of them as crap, and so now am trying to do only things that, however small, are GOOD, but then I can't even get small projects done, and so I have lost hope that anything I do will reach fruition.

Silly, though. I have done things. We grew tomatoes.



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