En casa no había tiempo para más que no fuera atender a mamá, nunca más hubo celebraciones de cumpleaños, ni navidades, no se ponía el arbolito, ni hubo cenas navideñas. El tiempo era dedicado a ella casi al 100%, y digo casi porque a pesar de todo también hacía mis cosas, me tomaba un pequeño porcentaje de ese tiempo para mí. Ir a trabajar, hacer mercado, y si, también de vez en cuando tenía un tiempo de esparcimiento, salía algunas veces con mis amigas e iba al gimnasio para tomar clases de aeróbicos y bailoterapia.
Mi padre y yo necesitábamos descanso, éramos los cuidadores principales, lo bueno de ser dos era que me podía turnar con él. En medio de aquella situación me iba de viaje, me tomaba un tiempo solo para mí, era necesario descansar para recobrar fuerzas y seguir. Yo me iba unos días y luego retornaba para que se fuera mi padre. Cuando me quedaba sola con mi madre, yo me estresaba mucho porque tenía que hacer todo, trabajar, atenderla a ella y a la casa. Mi hermano venía en las noches un rato para ayudarme mientras duraba el viaje de mi padre. Eran viajes cortos, pero muy necesarios, me tomaba mi tiempo y los disfrutaba al máximo. Nunca pensé que era egoísta en lo absoluto, si somos cuidadores debemos estar bien para seguir en el rol, por esa persona que nos necesita. Gracias a Dios mi salud no se vio afectada, comía sano y las clases de aeróbicos y bailoterapia hicieron lo suyo.
Fuente
No me gusta acaparar las actividades y abrumarme con ellas, no suelo subestimar a la gente pensando que no son capaces de hacer las cosas por sí mismos. Por el contrario, también fomento la independencia, de no ser así, terminaría agobiándome y eso si que atentaría contra mi salud. Me gusta ayudar y servir al prójimo, siempre que esté a mi disposición y tenga el tiempo suficiente para hacerlo, sin embargo, he aprendido a decir “no” y a “poner los límites” de ser necesario. Aprendí a no sacrificar mí tiempo porque no puedo excederme más de la cuenta, me pongo en primer lugar, porque el primer acto de amor debe ser conmigo misma.
Gracias por leer
Source
[ENG]
Greetings Holos&lotus friends, today I join the initiative proposed by my friend
@mosa71 Hoy estoy solo para mí // Initiative: Today I am all to myself and I take the opportunity to invite
@soy-alemare and
@elamaria to participate.
The question is interesting to reflect on, are you a disharmonized caregiver, the answer is no. I never thought of being a caregiver, since I was a caregiver. I never thought about being a caregiver, since I was a child I have kept to the roles that correspond to me, rather I was focused on the fact that I was the one who needed to be taken care of, I was the one who needed it. When my brother was born, it was only natural that because I was the oldest, I had to take care of him and look out for him, but not as his official caregiver. Although we initially refused to grow up so fast, my parents always encouraged me to be independent, something for which I am deeply grateful.
In fact, it is the mission of parents to make us independent so that when they are not around we are able to face the world. I had to study my university career in another city and that experience strengthened many aspects of me to be independent. It was a very hard period, leaving home and mom's care, but I learned a lot, it was a great experience. I have never felt like a born caregiver, far from it, I took care of myself at the beginning, because my mom even took care of my pets. It was clear to me that someday I would become a caregiver, when I had my own family and my own children, however, life surprises us and gives us the most unexpected twists and turns.
Before I even thought about having children, my mother began to manifest symptoms of senile dementia, some time later, she was diagnosed by a neurologist with Alzheimer's disease. From the first symptoms until the final stage and death, our life changed, I became, without thinking, the main caregiver of my own mother, of that noble woman who had given me life and had showered me with infinite attentions. It was always very hard, in the beginning of the disease she remained irritable, she hardly slept, she ate compulsively, this meant that the market was short-lived. This uncontrolled way of eating behind our backs increased her cholesterol and glycemia levels, months later, in addition to Alzheimer's she was hypertensive and diabetic.
Source
Life was very stressful for those of us living at home, my father and me. She would run away from home, sometimes she wanted to go out at night and convincing her was not an easy task, which is why spending a quiet day was almost an impossible mission. We had to keep an eye on her all the time, and yes, in moments of carelessness she escaped, but thank God we found her. The exhaustion was mental and physical, it also made me grumpy, sometimes I could not control it. Then my mother entered the other, much more serious stages of the disease, in which she became more and more dependent. This involved changing diapers, feeding her, bathing her, giving her water, giving her medications at their respective times, taking her to the doctor, and so on and so forth. When she was still walking, her upper and lower limbs had to be moved because she was becoming crippled, it was inevitable, it was part of that terrible disease. Moving her legs and arms to delay the numbness left me very exhausted, each leg weighed me like a ton.
It was very tiring to take care of the house, to work and also to take care of my mother in that state. My father was able to pay the salary of a person to take care of her and some of the household, like making food for example. We both had to work, but the girl could only be there until Fridays and during the day, the rest of the time it was up to me and my father. Then the inevitable happened, she couldn't walk anymore and was dependent on a wheelchair. Then the situation became more difficult because I had to carry her, it was very hard for me because it was like taking care of a big baby that weighed a lot and was taller than me.
Source
At home there was no time for anything else but taking care of mom, there were no birthday celebrations, no Christmas celebrations, the tree was not put up, and there were no Christmas dinners. The time was dedicated to her almost 100%, and I say almost because in spite of everything I also did my own things, I took a small percentage of that time for myself. Going to work, going to the market, and yes, from time to time I also had some time for recreation, sometimes I went out with my friends and went to the gym to take aerobics and dance therapy classes.
My father and I needed rest, we were the main caregivers, the good thing about being two was that I could take turns with him. In the middle of that situation I would go on a trip, I would take some time for myself, it was necessary to rest to regain strength and continue. I would go away for a few days and then I would return so that my father could leave. When I was alone with my mother, I was very stressed because I had to do everything, work, take care of her and the house. My brother would come in the evenings to help me for a while during my father's trip. They were short trips, but very necessary, I took my time and enjoyed them to the fullest. I never thought I was selfish at all, if we are caregivers we must be well to continue in the role, for that person who needs us. Thank God my health was not affected, I ate healthy and the aerobics and dance therapy classes did their thing.
Source
I don't like to hoard activities and overwhelm myself with them, I don't tend to underestimate people thinking they are not capable of doing things on their own. On the contrary, I also encourage independence, otherwise I would end up being overwhelmed and that would be a threat to my health. I like to help and serve others, as long as it is at my disposal and I have enough time to do it, however, I have learned to say "no" and to "set limits" if necessary. I have learned not to sacrifice my time because I can't go overboard, I put myself first, because the first act of love must be with myself.
Thank you for Reading
https://twitter.com/rodriguez_ylen/status/1660629958106968066
#hive #posh
@hylene74 que gusto leerte y saber tu historia. Me quito el sombrero ante personas como tú que has vivido experiencia de cuiadores de sus familiares.
Que alegría que sabes cuidarte, que consideras importante poner límites.
Recibe mi abrazo 💐
Muchas gracias a ti por traernos estas iniciativas donde compartimos nuestra experiencia. Los extremos no son buenos, gracias a Dios no era yo sola y nos dividíamos las cargas para hacer de nuestro rol de cuidador una tarea más llevadera. Saludos bella.
Mi admiración y respeto para ti amiga. Nada fácil ser la cuidadora a tiempo casi completo. Lo importante es qué, hiciste buen equipo con tu papá, ambos necesitaban ese espacio para respirar y seguir con la ardua tarea.
Quizá tú mamá no sabía quién era, pero ustedes si y así la cuidaron hasta el final. Yo debo aprender hacer ese espacio para mí y ponerme a mi como prioridad también, así poder cuidar a los demás con gratitud y amor.
Me ha gustado leerte bella. Saludos 🤗🌷
Sigue, contacta y apóyanos en:
Atender una madre con Alzheimer es un compromiso que te transforma la vida pero … cómo dejarla sola?. Un conmovedor post donde muchos pueden verse en ese ejemplo
Si lo es, es muy duro también no solo por el agotamiento físico y mental que eso conlleva, sino por tener que verlos desvanecerse poco a poco. Saludos, gracias por comentar.
Amiga querida @hylene74 que post tan emotivo y todo lo que cuentas. Desde que estoy en esta plataforma nunca he querido contar esa parte de mi historia cuidando a mi mamá. Mi historia se parece mucho a la tuya. Me siento identificada con todo lo que escribiste. En los últimos tiempos me quedé sola con mi mamá. Mi médico me duplicó mi dosis para la tensión arterial. Aunque mi madre siempre fué tranquila en muchos aspectos. Me sentía abrumada con tanta responsabilidad. Aprecio muy de corazón tú invitación. Un placer leerte 🥰🤗.
Hola Ela, te entiendo, fueron etapas muy duras que quizás no te hace bien recordar. Muchas responsabilidades nos abruman, es así, pero como éramos dos nos tomábamos un receso, era necesario, si me hubiera tocado a mi sola, no sé que hubiera hecho. Saludos, gracias por tu linda visita.
Gracias a tí amiga por tu gentileza de invitarme. Lo aprecio. Que tengas un Felíz día 🤗🥰.
@tipu curate 4
Upvoted 👌 (Mana: 0/71) Liquid rewards.
Muchas gracias por el apoyo.