The comedy Rumble: HOW YOU KNOW A TYPICAL NIGERIAN MOTHER
WARM GREETINGS EVERYONE
SOURCE
I am glad to be sharing this my second edition of the comedy rumble with you all. Let's kick start this.
As an African, a Typical Nigerian to be priced, they are distinct things we do that make us very different from others and that is what makes us Black. Black is gold, Unique, special, and very much talented above all we are strong survivors.
Surviving in a country Nigerian makes one immune and mentally strong to survive any part of the world, surviving is sure for a country like Nigeria, omohhh. The African Giant, lolzzz Nigeria is a great country to say though but, things are out of hand for now.
There are lots of things you hear a woman say then you know this is a typical Nigerian, an African parent to the core. So as a kid growing up, my mom does use these terms/words on me mostly before I use to be angry hearing them too but now I find them very funny.
THE PERSON WHO TOOK FIRST DO HE/SHE HAVE TWO HEADS
As a kid growing, the school was very much not easy though but we tried our very best to see that we came out among th top 10 of the class.
So this slogan does the person who took first have two heads is very much common among our mothers. I heard that sever times. This is me struggling up to the extent of coming third then you are still not satisfied, Mom! it was not easy sha... But on the other hand, I later discovered that is their own way of saying you did your best though they were happy we needed to put in more effort.
THE DECIEVERS AND THE DEBTORS
My mom is under this category, lolzz. Secondary school was fun and quite awesome though I have amazing parents who looked for every means to encourage me to do more.
So The Deceivers, my parents most especially my mom will be like If you take first, I will kill you one foul Omoh at that time eating chicken you are definitely on top of the world oh. But if I count the number of 1st positions that went without chicken hmmm maybe if they gave me those chickens I would have grown a cock head. lol....
Like the promises always kept coming but were hardly fulfilled. Our parents are just the best though quite a talent to make their children do what they want.
The Debtors: If I calculate how much my mom has collected from my hand from when I was a kid till date, hmmmmm I know where I will be ohhh...
Omoh my mom will be like borrow me that your money na when I get I give you or make I take pay transport go market. Two days later money have you gotten my money, hooo, they are fire on the mountain ohh... My mom will be like the food you eat are you the person who provided for it, are you the person taking care of yourself, omoh plenty story go comot.
But from the onset, their sweet tongue will always make you give them the money oh. What really mesmerize me is how we consistently kept giving them the money even if we knew it was never coming back.
THE QUARELLSOME AND BADMOUTH MOTHERS AND THE REPORTERS
As an African child growing up, there are lots of things you hear from your parents ohh, some are good some are quite offensive but it is what it is family is always family.
So when my mom gets angry at me for doing something, what seems used to get under my skin most was how long she did talk back then but they are stories now, no more ranting no more plenty talking.
Above all those ranting, there is always a slogan that our mothers normally use, like 90% of the Nigerian Mothers do make use of that slogan and I find it very fun to say. Here is it, when they are in that serious state of the quarrel my mom will be like As I did not kill my mother, you too will not kill me
Ah who said I was planning on killing you ma! Quite funny though.
The Reporters: We children are always very careful with those our mothers who usually report us to our eldest brothers in the house.
If you have ever been under this category I bet you really knew what you went through. Like it is the exact definition of What I ordered vs what I got
The situation that really happened might be very minor but the way they report it seems you have really killed somebody. Take for instance in the process of your mom trying to slap you and you accidentally blocked the slap in mid-air, God you are finished. Immediately she will start making her calls telling your seniors on how you beat, how you did this, and how you did that. It use to be very annoying but it's quite funny now though it's just their nature to say.
THE COMPARERS
Among all the things that used to happen to me as a kid, this was the one I usually go mad on. My mom will be like look at that one how is his living can't you be like them. But what gets me always laughing is how they turn the situation to compare themselves with you.
When I was your age, I was this, I was that But frankly speaking if any close family member comes visiting that is when you hear the real story. Some of our parents will be like when I was your age I used to take 1st position in my class, Liar! the first they are talking about might be the first from behind ohhh...
They were a story when a father use to tell his son how he use to come first in their class, but one faithful day, the boy happened to stumble on his father's school result the position her saw was out of the world.
THE I DON'T CARE TYPE
In Africa, Nigeria precisely, you see a different type of parenting, and among them is the I don't care type. Funny how they use to reply to some of the questions asked by their children under serious scenarios.
Taking the case of my mom, they were a day she sent me to go drop something for her inside the room and I was like Mommy where should I keep it? the reply was out of the world. Her: *come and drop it on my head`
Another one is a situation where you are hungry and you cry to your mom and be like Mommy am hungry their reply at that instance will be Come and eat me na
Omohhhh, surviving as an African has been right from childhood other, we were all strongly raised and henced that made us never quiet and always keeping our head up no matter the situation, all shoutout to our Nigerian parents.
Thanks for reading everyone
Best regards, and do come back for more
Me very excited: Mommy, I took second position an we're forty in the class.
My mum: The person that took first, did they have two heads.
😂😂😂😂I can relate my gee..I heard that one alot in my house
Omoh same here ohhh..
Our parents are really out of the world hardly satisfied and they have a very funny way of killing somebody's happiness.
E no easy sha. Thanks for leaving a comment dear friend
Your dividers almost gave me a seizure, but the post was hilarious that I still rate it highly.
Seriously though, please refrain from using these dividers here.
Thanks for making time in going through my work.
Correction noted I will desist from using such dividers next time.
Thanks.