THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON TAKING (A peek into the mind of a music artist).

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Being able to make music is one of life’s greatest gifts to me. Growing up I never really thought of myself as talented, so when I found out I could make music (and I truly enjoyed the music I was making ) it filled me with happiness and confidence in other areas of my life as well.

Unfortunately once I decided to pursue a career as an artist that gift began to seem more like a curse, or better still a gift that keeps on taking.
I began to pursue my career as an artist the year I got into college, I was apathetic towards the course I was meant to be studying so I figured music would save me from a regular 9 to 5 as a public administrator. Ironically I work partime for a company and it’s more 9 till the boss falls asleep than nine to five so that part didn’t exactly work out.

Music took away any chance I had at fully immersing myself into public administration, whilst I didn’t have any interest in it at the start, by my third year in the university I discovered that I actually understood and enjoyed it more than I thought and I would have made more of the opportunity if I had given it a chance from the start. This is not to say I didn’t graduate with a good grade, but whilst my mates studied and attended seminars and picked out post graduate programs, I wrote and recorded several songs that never really saw the light of day and my obsession was so great that I once took money meant to register a course and used it to record a response to Vector and MI Abagas beef. Was I involved in the beef? No!!! Did anybody ask my opinion on the beef? No!!! Did I send it to either vector or Mi? Not at all!!! Did I shoot a video for it? Yes. Did I release either the audio or the video …Nope, I don’t even have the song anymore. Did I have to pay double to register the course at a later date? Yes.

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Looking back I realize that the decision was a rather foolish one, but even now…if I get a song stuck in my head it will torture me until I release it, I will literally be like an addict looking for his next hit of whatever he is addicted to. For example I once gathered the courage to speak to the most beautiful girl in my department, I honestly didn’t expect her to say yes to a date but she did and she wanted to go out on Friday that week, I spend most weekends in the studio so I wasn’t particularly pleased but at the same time I was thrilled to have landed a date with such a beautiful girl. I dropped by the studio earlier than usual so that I would be done by 5 when we were supposed to meet up. To cut the long story short I abandoned my phone and ended up sleeping in the studio and I wasn’t even the artist recording, she hasn’t forgiven me to this day.

Artists generally don’t have a lot of luck with relationships because music is a very jealous lover, I’ve spoken with enough artists to know that when our relationships with humans start to take too much of our time we begin to feel like we’re not properly committed to our dreams and that is why we’re not moving at the pace we want.

Music took away my ability to enjoy sleep, most nights I’m either up recording or writing and if I do happen to fall asleep, I wake up feeling like the laziest artist in the world.

These days I feel like music has taken away my youth and my peace of mind, whilst my mates were out having fun and finding love, I was locked up in the studio finding my sound and hoping I would get to enjoy life eventually…it has been seven years and eventually still hasn’t come.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining and only counting losses, but it has actually been a beautiful experience as well, from meeting all my favorite artists to traveling around Africa for work to winning the cookout Africa and getting a chance to work with Grammy award winning producer Vincent Berry II, music has given me a lot. Purpose & drive as well as a direction for my life. But It has taken a lot as well and is slowly driving me crazy. I decided I was going to pay more attention to things outside music like Hive and my girlfriend (ex), I’m trying and I encourage all artists/producers/sound engineers and really everyone in general to build a life outside their work, as hard as it may seem and as much as we love making music.

P.s to those who love and appreciate the art…that three minute song you love didn’t take three minutes to make, artists go through a whole lot to give you masterpieces to listen to…show the musicians that make you happy some love and respect.

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Thank you for reading ✌🏾❤️



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