MORE IN MY HEAD THAN NORMAL. OR IS IT NORMAL?

So I was at a vigil last night from 9:30pm till 5am. Amazing yeah... But i still feel very sleepy. Had to drag myself up to make this post because, I just loved the topic or questions...

I'll be writing on my strange quirk.

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We all talk to ourselves at some point yeah? We all have weird imaginations? But has it ever gotten to a certain level you question your sanity?

I started living in isolation from age 18. I had cut off from a lot of people and my thoughts became louder than you can imagine. At times, I'd have to talk to myself just to feel okay and that seemed to turn to habit I just can't stop.

A lot of times, when my mom is either sleeping or out, I'm up, having conversations with myself and even laughing at/with myself. My landlady had asked me if I'm okay multiple times because she does hear the conversations. This seemed to amuse my ex a lot. I have no idea why.

One time, we agreed to meet up at our usual spot but we hadn't gone for our morning run so we shifted the time to 7pm so we could go individually and have dinner together afterwards.

By 7pm, I was there and very hungry. He was taking quite the time. We actually had an argument and I began to worry that he might not show. I was only worried that he wouldn't come feed me because I forfeited my meal at home. I went from worried to scared then to angry and the following ensued(trust me please, this is no fiction. I still do it till date).

Me: I think you've been stood up. Why the hell don't you know to keep that hole of yours shut?

Myself: What hole?

Me: your mouth you idiot. You are one stubborn girl.

Myself: Don't you think we should be talking about how we'd sleep hungry should he not show up?

Then he comes in at that moment and apologises for keeping me waiting. I waited for a whole of 45mins and that up there is just a hint of what really went down between I and myself.

When he asked me if I'm mad at him I told him no but clearly the voice in my head screamed "bullshit". I didn't tell him, I just smiled at him. It was later on, after we'd eaten that I lost it. I gave him a run down of the conversation I had with myself and how much I was mad at him and how much I could just slap him. He knows how I am about food and he kept me waiting. I rambled for an hour and you know what this guy did through out that time? He laughed!

He then confessed how he intentionally came at that time because I always get animated when talking about my inner conversations. He felt I should go into the movie industry or just become a screenwriter.

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Well, that was that. However, that's not all. I seem to always imagine the worst of everything. For example when I'm going on the road, I imagine that I could just get cleared by a moving car or hit by a bike. I even go as far as imagining loosing my memory and waking up stupid.

When I told my distant cousin this, she looked at me and asked, "so what do you do after you imagined such scenes?"

I told her how I get prepared to make the most of the situation. I used an example of how I imagined falling down the stairs. If that should happen, I'd immediately protect my head and then somehow try to reach for the railing.

My best friend and only close cousin replied with, "oh she'd really do that. She has really fast reflexes it shouldn't be normal."

Also, one time (numerous times actually) I caught the sight of a mouse and kept visualising how I'd end it's life. I even had conversations with myself on what I'd do to it.

Some nights later, it made the mistake of trying to crawl on my curtain lines. It all happened in the blink of an eye. I didn't care and made my hand into a fist before delivering a massive punch. It fell and tried to hide in my shoe, I got it by the tail and flung it against a wall (just like I said i would) then swung it down on the floor before finally ripping it's head off. Too much? Nah.

Anyway, my weird quirk is talking to myself, having the freakiest imaginations and also something else.

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I get vivid images of me screaming, punching walls and causing wrecks(like throwing chairs and breaking glasses) in my head when I'm pissed but I do nothing of that sort. I just let my body tremble with fury and go home and still not do anything at all. I don't know if that's good at all.

Well that's me. I'd like to know yours. To participate in the prompt, click HERE.

THANKS FOR READING, SAYONARA!

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