KISS WEEK 57 - THE WAHALA THAT COMES WITH KNOWING.

To know or not...?

You know, I can't really remember who or what I was like five years ago. What I do remember is that, I would pray and cry and beg for things to get easier. It was so easy to get sucked in by life and compared to now, five years ago was child's play. Then, I did not know what I know now. You know what they say...knowledge is power. I have learned that this is true. When you have information about something, there is confidence. But I also learned that knowledge is a burden.

Ignorance is bliss...?

Yes. Like a vice, it wrings round your neck and creates tension; bending you to its will. You see, when you know something, you can't unknow it. I guess this is why people see ignorance as bliss. If I was told five years ago that I would be thrust into a place that would make me question my identity, who I am and what I live for, I'd have probably decided not to grow up. The pain that comes mentally and emotionally with knowing things is not fun. In fact, I read somewhere that the more you know, the unhappier you become.

Even during...

I don't know how true this is but it does carry a molecule there. See, this is why we are also advised to create our happiness and not let our joy be dictated by the things around us. It would be impossible to be happy if we need material things to validate happiness. I'll be turning twenty-two in less than two weeks and I probably still have a lot to learn about life but I feel older sometimes. Twenty-two years and I have learned the following over the past five years:

• No one is going to save you

I'm an avid book reader and it is easy to get sucked into an unrealistic world. But like we say in my place, "with my two two eyes, I dey look road". Which means, I am not blind to how the world works. The only person who can save me, who can alter and shape my destiny is me. That is a lot of pressure. So you see? Sometimes not knowing is bliss but who wants to be ignorant in this day and time?

• Life is just not fair.

Daily, I watch people just get things handed to them. Literally. I don't know if this is life's way of saying fcck you but it sucks to really work for something and watch another person just get it. I am surrounded by such people and it can be toxic if you let it.

• You will not be liked by everyone.

No matter how beautiful or sexy or funny you are, someone won't just like you. It is bitter but it is true. So just be you.

• Good things never come easy.

You have to work for it and even if all you keep getting are lemons, there is always honey right around the corner. So difficulties come with opportunities.

• The world doesn't revolve around you.

I used to get so caught up in this feeling of entitlement as a pre-teen. But then it got knocked out of me. And there is a reason I prefer to stay away from the spotlight. Those are the ways I better handle my demons.

These are just a few of what I have come to learn over the years. And I will be learning more. This morning while fetching water, I kept telling myself that it would all be fine. And when I saw a tweet that read, "when it seems the darkest, your breakthrough is just around the corner", I nearly cried because it said a lot to me.

And one thing I always remind myself even when it feels like I can't breathe...Gratitude. Grateful in the pain, in the midst of the anger, in the flood or even the rain. Like my good friend always says, "someone somewhere has it worse".

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All Images are mine and they are edited using Canva

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