A wonderful Wednesday walk to the top of Wheeler Peak Wilderness

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Wake up shivering in the predawn freeze and shaking in fear at the fastfading dream of going shopping at the local grocery store when a mass shooting breaks out. Catch your failing breath, then fall into a coughing fit that feels like forever and ever unhappily ever after. Recover and wonder if something's wrong with your immune system. Unwrap yourself from the dirty unwashed goosedown disaster that is your ancient sleeping bag, sit up, try to relax, and try to remember where in hell you are and what day of the week it is. Fumble around the stilldark tent till you find your phone, power it on and check to see what day of the week it is. Wednesday. Okay. Check to see that you're wearing pants, then roll out of your tent and stand up and remember where you are. Taos Ski Valley, New Mexico. Okay. Stare at the sky and cough. Clear, nary a cloud in sight, twilight rising. Pull up your CARROT weather app to check the forecast. Green lights all day long, good stuff. "Look at all those stars twinkling up there," says CARROT. "Who the fuck do they think they are?" LOL, nice one. Actually laugh out loud. Make a mental note to cold-email the CARROT devs later and ask if they happen to be looking for humor writers, because you happen to be available and pretty fuckin' funny if you do say so yourself. Walk over to the firepit and unzip and start pissing in it right as a truck decides to go rumbling by with full-frontal view of your pissing dick. Oh yeah, you're camped pretty close to the road, should probably be a little bit more discreet with that sort of shit. Okay, whatever. Time for breakfast. Dice up a russet potato and then put all them spudly chunks in a pan and then grab your sharpest knife by the handle not the blade this time and use it to carve some frozen coconut oil out of the jar and then dump all them lovely little coconut oilbergs into the pan and let everything all fry up for a while with some salt and pepper pepper pepper. Give those spudly russet chunks a few minutes to brown, then add the yellow onion and green brussels sprouts, and finally two whiteshelled chicken eggs. Flip once and flick off the burner. Add hot sauce and eat with cold fingers and fork. Clean up cough a few more times and start your car. Drive up the road through the village to the trailhead and park. Ascend Wheeler Peak via the standard ontrail route and then descend via the extremely nonstandard offtrail route. Arrive back at the trailhead to discover that your car is still there and nobody has broken into it, good stuff. Start your car and drive to TSV's Gila parking lot to take advantage of cell coverage that's much better than at your campsite, so as to catch up on your emails, manage your Splinterlands rentals, laugh at all them silly LinkedIn headhunters, add to your increasingly massive TwoRunt dossier, buy a few more Hive Punks, et cetera et cetera. Drive all the way down to Taos to buy beer. Drive all the way back to your campsite and start drinking beer and pissing indiscreetly in the firepit again. Write the first draft of something really stupid that you'll definitely want to drunkenly publish on the Hive blockchain someday in the very near future. Continue drinking. Forget where in hell you are and what day of the week it is. Cough. Enter tent get into sleeping bag and go to freezing sleep.


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11-24-21. Why didn't you tell me that truck was coming @otherbrandt?



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Hell to the yes Brandt that was just enough build up for sorta decent photos I guess, good call, good thing you didn't say much else or sorta decent would come up short like TwoRunt in Pahrump and I hate to go from ha!I to not ha but did you see this?

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Damn that's sorta decent and super weird because I lived in Waukesha for several years back in a former life of mine…

!PIZZA

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(Edited)

PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!

PIZZA Holders sent $PIZZA tips in this post's comments:
brandt tipped nineclaws (x1)
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@brandt(3/10) tipped @ginnyannette (x1)
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You can now send $PIZZA tips in Discord via tip.cc!

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WEEEEEEEEE that was fun.
So.
Is that what you did with the body, then?

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Shhh don't tell anyone.

🤐

!PIZZA

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Such a fun read you really should contact Carrot your humor may fit well there

Amazing rugged scenery

Thanks for joining Wednesday Walk :), I truly enjoy exploring the world virtually each Wednesday seeing walks from all around the globe and feeling I am there and experiencing it all myself, such as I did in your post just now :)

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Howdy @tattoodjay, thanks for enjoying my Wednesday walk! Cool community you got going :)

Cheers and !PIZZA

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Thanks it’s nice to see it growing
Have a great day

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Well that's a pretty epic Wednesday Walk and I look forward to that drunken writing ramble that you mentioned! I love a good comedy! 🤣

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Thanks for swinging by @chocolatescorpi! Wheeler Peak is epic for sure but especially epic on Wednesdays :)

I look forward to that drunken writing ramble that you mentioned

Spoiler alert, this post IS that ramble. Turns out the first draft was good enough, so it went and got itself published :D

!PIZZA and !BEER

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Well I look forward to more of your rambles, especially if they are as entertaining as this one was! 🤣

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Beauty pictures! I can feel the frostbite and see puffs of white breath on the air. You need a roaring fire without exhibitionistic water works to putting it out. Too much putting it out could freeze up the works, even if it's worth the show and tell.

Seems like @otherbrandt set you up for display purposes.

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Did someone say dick pic? Here I am.

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Ahhh, there's the hustler popping up on cue. Keep it in your pants, I hear it's a fine delicacy for some animals.

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That's a great setup for a joke, but I'm not gonna bite.

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Chicken, guess you can always bite that.

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I feel like a roaring fire in these parts would become a roaring forest fire before too long. I do occasionally build campfires but try to keep them small. Unless I'm camping in a place I don't like of course.

!PIZZA

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Sounds like a lot of deadfall waiting to go up in a blaze. Not good. Small controlled campfires.

Unless I'm camping in a place I don't like of course.

Careful the fire doesn't outrun you.

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QUALITY CARROT HUMOUR!

Freezing sleep is probably the most peaceful of all! 😁

Just keep a defibrillator next to the alarm clock; so the paramedics can revive you, so you can make another post...Ya know!!!

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Freezing sleep is probably the most peaceful of all

That is likely true. Thanks for the defibrillator suggestion. I shall purchase one immediately.

!PIZZA

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Ah, those coconut oilbergs. Cold coconut oil is probably the number one cause of rage on campsites. Something like this:

This spoon is doing nothing! Where the hell is the knife?
Finds a fork.
This fork is doing nothing! Where the hell is the knife?
Finds a spork.
This spork is doing nothing! Where the hell is the knife?
Considers throwing glass jar against rock...

Anyway. I hope your cough gets better soon. Need a shot of fire cider with that morning coconut oil.

I can't properly imagine your level of cold, but your pictures certainly look cold and fresh and brisk. The scenery reminds me of the only time I have seen snow, which happened to also be in New Mexico. It wasn't a very cold day in April. I don't think I was even wearing long sleeves. We were standing out in the middle of nowhere somewhere, and a cloud just blew in, it got cold all of the sudden, and a teeny bit of loveliness fell from the sky, and then it was gone. Such an odd, ethereal experience.

I'm sure @otherbrandt was very busy on that morning and is completely blameless. Probably he was peeing on the other side of the road, and the truck driver was staring at him. Such a hero - always taking one of the team.

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Considers throwing glass jar against rock

I have certainly considered such things at times, but then that would mean @otherbrandt would have to go clean up the mess, and that guy already has more on his plate than he can handle. Sometimes I think he is just one empty beer can in the woods away from losing his goddamn mind.

Your single snow experience sounds surreal. I didn't grow up with snow as a kid but ever since early adulthood I've had gobs of it every winter. If you ever want to visit Leadville and have a 99% chance of not seeing snow then you will have to come in July. That's your window, one month.

!PIZZA

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I will keep those snow odds in mind. A name like Leadville - it sounds cold and bleak. And @otherbrandt might enjoy insanity. Who knows.

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Leadville can be very cold and snowy and sometimes bleak, but it gets a lot of sunshine. So you could walk outside one day in January and it might be 15 outside but not a cloud in the sky and feels like freezing. Shorts weather.

I lived in Leadville for almost 5 years. It's a cool town but recently it's started getting discovered and ruined by rich people looking for vacation homes. I doubt I'll ever live there again.

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