I have tried to let go of that feeling of being too cautious and just lower my guard but I can't seem to help it....I actually wonder how people do it. I am a sensitive person, I won't call it an OCD per se but I don't like so many things. For one, I don't like it when I am in the bus and have to feel others skin rub on mine. Now, don't get me wrong...it is not pride or anything related I just find it uncomfortable especially when this other person is sweaty. I may not be the neatest person but I try to maintain neatness in the best way I can.

I think growing up as a child in an environment that is not very "clean", kind of had an effect on me. Hence, why I am all about neatness and being detailed about how I do things. That is why I know right away if someone touched any of my things that has been arranged... oh, I would definitely know. As much as being tidy or neat is a good thing to adapt, it is more personal for me....it doesn't have to be "perfect" but it (whatever it is) should be neat, clean or tidy enough.

Now what is all the talk about, ever since covid came to be I think I have become worse. It gets me worried at times but I can't seem to change my ways still. When I go out I make sure I do the laundry immediately and bathe, trying not to touch anything in the house. I wipe my phone clean just incase, since I just had my bath or washed my hands it would make sense to clean my phone because I used it outside, so before using the phone I clean, call me crazy.

Here, most people no longer wear mask and they really don't care because it is believed that there is no "Corona" and even if there is, it is not something to be so extreme about, meaning it is not serious. When you wear mask to some places they tell you, remove your mask nothing like covid here...don't mind the government. Well not like I mind the government anyways but the least I can do is wear a mask to protect myself.

Now I have graduated to a level of being extra cautious, being too jumpy when someone near me sneezes or coughs without a mask on. One funny thing is, when someone beside me sneezes, I'd begin to feel hot, like I have a high temp hehehe, my imagination at work. I would touch my body and be like "it's like my temperature is rising, I hope I have not contracted corona, like I am supposed to have the symptoms immediately. I don't want to hold a door handle to public spaces anymore but do I have a choice, sometimes I use toilet paper....lol. Ah, I guess that's where hand sanitizer comes in...I prefer washing my hands though.

I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing but I feel like being excessive about it is the problem even though I refuse to see it that way...I have had friends complain lol. Nevertheless, I'd do what's best for me in keeping safe but I'd like to be able to lower my guard though, to the times before covid.