Late night ramblings: "we can't help everyone, but everyone can help some".

Yesterday, as per usual on a Sunday night, I slid to the end/start of my week with a nice, long shower. While I do my hair & skincare routine, I love listening to music and getting lost in my thoughts. At that particular moment, I was thinking a lot about Chris Cornell and his prolific music career.

For those who haven't heard about him, Chris Cornell was a singer, songwriter, and musician, born in Seattle in 1964. He was best known as the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist for the rock bands Soundgarden and Audioslave. He was also a husband and a father. Chris Cornell took his own life at the age of 52, an hour after performing with his band at a concert.

For me, Chris Cornell was one of the voices that could pull me out of the bleakest void. There was something in his lyrics that reminded me of my value as a person, that gave me hope. I felt less lonely. I felt my pain was seen and understood, even by someone I didn't even know.

When he died, a piece of my teenage self died too. The menace of suicide suddenly crept too close. I was scared of losing the battle against depression as well. But it also made me more aware of the suffering of others. It inspired me to seek help and to try and aid others who were going through similar situations. Mental health is becoming an increasingly dangerous issue in our modern society, and I can't believe that it's still such a hairy topic to talk about.

I could cite here a thousand statistics to support my point, but would it really make you see? I'd rather have you think about your loved ones, the people close to you, your coworkers, your neighbors, even the distant acquaintances. Have you noticed if they are struggling? Did you know that even the slightest gesture of comprehension can go a long way to saving a life? We are social creatures, and it's in our biological nature to learn how to read body language. We can use that for the best! We are social beings, so if society is rotten, dying, each individual will potentially be affected, and it's retroactive. We and only we have the power to make the changes, to start the wave. Let's put it to good use!

I've had strangers save me from taking my life just by being their kind, compassionate selves. When even my own family insisted on denying the monster in the room, a stranger gave me the space to freely talk and cry. Then, he offered to buy a drawing of mine "because he loved my style and found it unique". When you feel that you have something to bring into this world, something to say, and the possibility of being heard, you can begin to picture a future, a life ahead of you. People just have to be willing to listen. I am willing to listen. Even when I'm in the worst state possible. That is humanity, my dear reader.

Chris Cornell might not have been heard on time. When I listen to his songs, I can sense his cry for help. I wish I could have given him back at least a fraction of the peace he gave me through his music. I hope he is free of pain now, free of sadness. Free.

Can you imagine what it feels like being told that you are weak, that you are nothing, that the void you have inside is exactly what you deserve? My brain tries to scream that at me ALL THE TIME. Even in my happiest moments, there's a thing crawling at the back of my thoughts, waiting to strike, tear, destroy. It has taken an enormous amount of effort to revert the damage, to remember that it isn't permanent, that I'm alive, whole, and breathing, and that is a beautiful thing. Chris, wherever you are, I can fully understand your words. I ask you for forgiveness in the name of your inner world. And I forgive you if you ever blamed yourself.

Bottom line: be aware. Aware of yourself, of others. Be kind. Be loving. Be human.

^{I'd like to thank THE WEEKEND community and its founder for yet another opportunity to reflect on life and what I can do to heal and to make things better. I thank you for reading this too.}