How to Be a Good Listener
Being a good listener is something that I've always wanted to be. When I look at famous interviewers like Tim Ferriss, Walter Isaacson and others, I am envious of their ability to ask fantastic questions.
When these people ask someone a great question, you can see the person light up... Excited to respond.
Asking great questions is how you become a good listener. People want to talk about themselves, they don't want to hear about you.
I was listening to an Audiobook called How to Win Friends and Influence People and in it, Carengie talks about how to be a good listener.
He said it's simple: shut up and listen.
If You Give Them the Space, They'll Fill It
As humans, we often try to fill every empty space. In conversations, this means fillers and always feeling the need to talk when there is silence.
Think about the last few conversations you had... Did you allow any silence? Did you allow yourself time to actually think?
Or did you go out of your way to fill that space. Did you drone on and on about your life while the other person just listened. Did you ask any good questions? Did you offer a sympathetic ear?
When you give people space to fill, they'll fill it. You can simply be there and be present.
Next time you have a conversation, try to be still in the silence. Ruminate on what someone has just said and think of a great question to ask them. If you struggle to ask them a great question, then settle for a good one. If you struggle to find a good one, then I know you can at least settle for a bad one.
You see, the key to becoming a better listener is by faking it til you make it. The learning curve may seem daunting but once you start allowing some silence and giving yourself time to breathe, be present and think, then you will be able to be curious.
And once you can do those things, you can ask great questions.
And once you can ask great questions, you can be a great listener!
My name is Asteroids - well, that's my Hive name, anyways. I believe firmly in the future of Web3 technology and its potential to reshape our lives. I'm a serial entrepreneur and my aim in life is to always evolve and find new ways to leverage technology in my life.
As I continue to build things, I find new and important wisdom in all sorts of places. My goal here on Hive is simply to share that wisdom so that you can improve as well.
Working is as much about building good habits as it is about doing the actual work. Remembering this on a daily basis has changed my life for the better.
Until next time,
-A
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