21 Life Lessons - Dig Deep to Find Joy by Kathleen Ciucci

over 4 years ago

21 Life Lessons Cover Art.jpg

About a year ago I read a book called 21 Life Lessons @ 21. It is a compilation of personal stories and advice from 21 prominent South Africans. While the book was originally written aimed at the youth, I felt that it has some pearls of wisdom that are brilliant, regardless of your age.

Chapter 5 of 21 Life Lessons is a personal account from Kathleen Ciucci of the fundamentals to living a happy, joyous and fulfilling life.

She opens her introduction with an excellent quote

"Wherever you go - there you are"

and she explains that she has throughout her life seen and heard people claiming and believing that "if they are only able to ..." fill in said blank, then they will "be happy". It becomes an ever elusive quest to complete the next task, reach the next goal, find a better place etc. and while they are constantly striving to complete or achieve these, they tend to miss out on the here and now.

I have been guilty of this in the past and found myself missing out on "life" because I was too focused on a particular goal where it became almost all consuming. This is detrimental and unhealthy as it does not provide scope for diversity in your life or the ability to enjoy a variety of activities, people or experiences.

While having goals (both short and long term) is good for you and provides something to work towards, something to achieve and some direction in your life, there needs to be some balance where you are able to find enjoyment in other aspects of your life. Unfortunately I have seen this become a stumbling block in the lives of past students of mine where they are so diligent and hard on themselves that they burn themselves out and then they aren't actually any good to anyone and it delays their achievement of the goals they were chasing down.

Sometimes this is also because of a burning desire to be recognized in their field of study. It often happens with younger people that they really want to make a difference and sometimes this is also driven by ego and these days has been exacerbated by social media and the dopamine dependency that is attached to it. This is a very short lived kind of pleasure and doesn't actually provide any long term happiness, especially if it's being pursued for the wrong reasons.

Kathleen believes that true happiness is found and built up with a foundation of love, friendship, relationship and being of service to others and recommends four books (I have noted these at the end) that she found value in as they provided her with the insight to live a better life. She quotes Martin Seligman's acronym PERMA as a good place to start with finding your path to true happiness by balancing these five things:

She goes on to explain that even these five things are sometimes not attainable for various reasons and believes that a deeper more soul fulfilling quest is to find inner JOY instead of pursuing happiness.

Dr Sheldon believes that self inquiry and discovery (which includes taking full responsiblity for your own actions and the consequences thereof) is an important part of finding joy. Joy comes from within each of us and can be used as a resilience 'buffer' even in the most challenging hardships. Having compassion for your fellow human, being forgiving and mindful each day, reflecting & improving and practicing whatever form of spirituality or religion you may belong to or believe in as well as being creative (in whatever form that resonates with you) - will all contribute towards your "Joy index".

I have personally experienced the difference between fleeting happiness and deep soul level joy. The latter is what I call "Being in Universal Flow". For me, it is a soul-felt sense of calm, centeredness and grace. It is acknowledging that I am a very small part of something much bigger, but that even I have a fundamental part to play, that I want my existance to have a positive impact on others and I strive for that in every interaction. Each day there are things to be grateful for and enJOYed, you just need to recognize them and acknowledge them.

So these are some thoughts from Kathleen and myself on what we can do to enJOY life a little bit more and on a deeper level. Change starts with one small step.

The four books that she recommends are:

Beyond Happiness: How to Find Lasting Meaning and Joy in All That You have

by Anthony Seldon

Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill

by Matthieu Ricard

Falling Upward

by Fr. Richard Rohr

Awareness

by Anthony De Mello

If you would like to buy the e-book version of 21 Life Lessons @ 21, it is available online at www.21lifelessons.co.za for $12 USD (International) or R150 ZAR (South Africa).

Be awesome today.

_{^{All artwork has been used with permission from the book publisher}}

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selfimprovement life lifelessons happiness joy inspirationalbook beanicehuman selfawareness southafrica palnet

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2 comments

@hivebuzz 74

over 4 years ago

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@hive-106316 72

over 4 years ago

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