Babbles of an Unfocused Mind

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(Edited)

Last month, I was very busy in my life off-line. New things were going on and there was some extra chores to do so that I didn’t get time to be very active on Hive. Nevertheless, my head was full of ideas to write. There were happenings everyday about which I desperately wanted to write but because of shortage of time I could not convert those happenings into content. I thought, I would be writing about them once my routine would return to normal.

About a couple of weeks ago my routine came to its normal, but still it became difficult for me to write as keenly as I was doing before. We usually hear about writer’s block that causes difficulty in writing. The writer simply lacks ideas and words to write. My case is different. I don’t think what I am experiencing can be regarded as writer’s block. There are several topics in mind which I can write on. There are many thoughts running one after the other in my mind. It is not the lack of ideas that is stopping me from writing. Instead it is the lack of focus and motivation that is not allowing me to start.

When there is a recent happening of event, we are more equipped with information and emotions. Because, it is fresh, the feelings are more more fragrant and it is easier to transform them into words. Moreover, when something is inspiration for the writer it needs not to be very big. It can be small and still be very special; but when the same happening becomes the story of past days it loses the emotions attached with it and it no longer remains the inspiration for today’s writing. Even if we remember the major information attached to it, we are likely to miss many minor important elements. That’s the case with me, perhaps. I still remember what I had thought to write on but the topics are no longer inspiring me.

The more problematic thing is that these old ideas in my mind are not letting me move forward. It’s weird and weary. When I think of writing about something new such as any contest going on, a cloud of fear pops up in my mind telling me that I would forget about the topics I already have so I must write about them first. On the other hand when I try to write about on the topics already in my mind, I feel lost. Firstly, I find me unable to decide which topic I should choose for today’s writing. Secondly, as I stated above that none of them have retained their inspirational property for today, nothing motivates me to fight against the clock (as I often write fighting against the clock).

Also, there is a general lack of motivation that I am experiencing. I write because writing gives me inner peace and joy. It is my biggest motivation behind writing. These days the sense of attaining the joy via writing is subdued somewhere. I don’t exactly know why but I can point out some probable reasons.
Writing gives me joy because it accompanies sense of achievement. When this sense of achievement is undermined by some other factors, the over all joyful feelings are eroded. My kids has summer vacation these days. I had planned to work on some of the weaker academic areas of my elder son, so that he would perform better when the schools are reopened. Despite putting efforts, I don’t feel like getting the targets I had set. It is disappointing to me. Perhaps, I have settle higher targets than achievable. Not sure though.

Beside, I am working for three different projects on hive. For two of them (Hivepakistan and vyb) a curator and for dreemport as a guild. Everything takes time and energy to be done. Meanwhile, my mind is full of ideas about Hivepakistan, as the project is in its infancy and many things are to be done. The problem is that everything in my mind is just in my mind and nothing is coming implication, simply because everything needs focussed attention and considerable time to come to reality. The thoughts in my mind along with many other targets are only draining me of energy and blurring my focus.

Along with ideas for Hivepakistan, I am trying to upgrade myself as an ambassador for dreemport as well. I am on it. But the thing is that, it is not giving me satisfaction. Why....! Simply, because there are several other targets that are not going up to mark.

Along with all the afore mentioned reason, there is one more reason that disturbs me a lot. That is the recurrent illness of my son. For the last nine months, he gets fever twice a month. After every two weeks, he has severe asthma attack with nasal congestion, flu, severe coughing and breathlessness. I have to spend nights awakened trying to sooth him. Moreover, giving medicine and nebulization on time is a duty. While he is ill, I have to spoon-fed him. Also, he starts showing tantrums. This all is tiresome.

All these factors have an compound influence on my motivation level. Perhaps, I have become too demanding of myself. Perhaps, I need to set my focus on one or two thing letting the other things aside; but I don’t really know which things to choose and which to drop. Maybe the readers may help me figure out........

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...the recurrent illness of my son. For the last nine months, he gets fever twice a month. After every two weeks, he has severe asthma attack with nasal congestion, flu, severe coughing and breathlessness. I have to spend nights awakened trying to sooth him. Moreover, giving medicine and nebulization on time is a duty. While he is ill, I have to spoon-fed him. Also, he starts showing tantrums. This all is tiresome.

This by itself is very stressful. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Remember, your real life family comes first. How old is your son? What does the pediatrician say?

Hugs! @amberkashif 💕

!LADY

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My son is 5 years old at present. He has childhood asthma. Doctor says that it would go on its time. It may be with him for 12 years of his life.

The weather of my city is so weird. My son has been allergic to sudden temperature changes of weather. I can't help it.

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(Edited)

I thought you were going to say your son was 2-3 years old - he is a little man at 5 years age! What you describe must be very difficult to deal with and you both must get extremely frustrated every time the illness repeats its cycle. Fevers indicate an infection of some type. Does he get sinus infections as well as the asthma attacks? Big temperature variations can create all types of health problems and high humidity makes breathing very difficult.

Sending positive energies to you and your son! 🙌💙🙌

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The first three years of his life were very tough. I can count the nights I sleep soundly during that period. He kept on crying the whole night struggling to breathe.

After 3 years the severity and frequency of his illness decreased. His health got better but for the last 9 months, the illness has been back with great strength.

Thanks for the good wishes @ninahaskin. A lot of !LUV

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You are right, we can do nothing when disturb mentally. Family is more important than work. Don't take the stress if you can't work well. Soon you will be able to do your work nicely. Best wishes for the health of your son. May he recover soon.

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You are right, Tehseen. With tired and over loaded mind, it is very difficult to perform things rightly.

Thanks for the good wishes

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I understand what you are passing through now dear, I'd advise you to try go for a walk sometime too help cool off a little bit.

You have great things you are working on and trust me you need to be of sound mind and health to give your best so, I will advise you do something fun that you haven't done in a while now.

Take care of yourself dear.

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Thank you so much for your caring words @hopestylist . You have given good advice. I will try following them ❤

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It's my pleasure dear, I just want to keep seeing you and also I want you to be fine.

You're always welcome dear 😘.

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You received 1 LADY(LOH) token for posting in Ladies of Hive!

We believe that you should be rewarded for the time and effort spent in creating articles. The goal is to encourage token holders to accumulate and hold LOH tokens over a long period of time.

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Thanks for the token. I will hodl it for sure

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Glad to hear this and you will be glad you did! 💕💰😘 💕

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Oh God, what a difficult time you are going through. At first I sad to hear about your son's condition. I hope he recovers soon insha'Allah. When your son is well, you will get relaxation automatically. Don't lose hope, everything will be fine soon. insha'Allah ✨

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Thanks for your good wishes for my son, Faiza.

Have a blessed day

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My pleasure!! Have a blessed day too dear.

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This is so true, because I remember there was once I have something to write but due to not being in a conducive place I couldn't write it but I have to hold it on my mind, now the next day I set myself to Writing then the old idea already on my mind, couldn't let me proceed forward as I should.

I think in such cases one should try as much as possible not to hold anything in the heart but to let the mind to be free because once you have time for writing something fresh, something must always be on your mind to reflex on.

@amberkashif Your post is a reflection of a real life situation.

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I think in such cases one should try as much as possible not to hold anything in the heart but to let the mind to be free because once you have time for writing something fresh, something must always be on your mind to reflex on.

This is something I concluded yesterday. !LOLZ. I figured out if I kept myself stuck with older ideas, it wouldn't be possible for me to move a single step ahead. But..... uffffff! It is not that easy to let thing go, is it?

Ahhhhhh! I wanna scream seriously

Your post is a reflection of a real life situation.

Yeah , it is about my real life currently.

Thanks for your wise response @repayme4568 .

Have a blessed day

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It is so true with what you said, letting things go sometimes hurt, especially when those thoughts comes from you, but what can we do, we have to move on and try as much as possible to stay cool.
You are welcome Amber, have nice day too.
Happy new month to you 🤗

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This happens to me too, like right now I have topics to write on but, I don't know where to start from, it's kinda discouraging, but in my case it's my child that's taking my attention, and when she's sleeps, I am just tire to even write.
Well just find your motivation, I'm sure you will write something.
Via dreemeport

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How old is your child?

Children need a lot of attention. In the early years in one way. In the later years another way. My kids also take a lot of my attention and efforts my mind feels like bursting at some points, but then life goes on.

Best wishes to you ❤

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They are 4years and 1year respectively 😃 they sure do need attention. Thanks

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I am so sorry to hear that you have so much going on and finding it hard to juggle. When your child isnt so well its hard to get any focus.

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When your child is sick, the life really becomes tough both on emotional and physical level. 😢

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I've read through every line and I think that maybe what you just need is a breather. Take some time off. Do something that is all about you and nothing about work or writing or anything related to it. It's not writer's block, you are stressed out and you need time to rejuvenate and feel fresh enough to come back to this life. Also maybe the workload is much on you, you know having to take of these communities and your son's illness can be quite demanding. How about you cut down on it and focus on just a few and come back to the rest when you feel you are ready to take up more challenges?

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You have understood the depth of the problem and has provided z solution that I think would work well. But you know, it is not that easy to pull your mind away from the thoughts , pressures and stressor. Perhaps, I need to learn how to take the break and be satisfied with it. That day, I would attain the relaxation, I hope.

Thanks for stopping by and making such a wise response to it. A lot of !LUV

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Yes I understand it is not easy to pull away from all these but it is possible. Just choose a day you know you are usually less busy and take some me time on that day. It will go a long way to refresh your mind. Wishing you all the best 😘😘

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ME TIME....... I loved this term. Hehe.

Thanks for you time and support.

Have a lovely weekend 😘

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(Edited)

As someone who is in the same situation as you are concerning focus @amberkashif, when we get so many things going on in our minds, even though we may clear out the front of our minds, there are still things persisting in the background, hanging out in the back of our minds that hampers our focusing on any subject for more than a few minutes. It has a tendency to derail our motivation as well, you have elaborated it very well despite that you claim it's just disorganized babbling and rambling hahahahahahahaha!!!
You've made a very strong post considering the fact that you think you're out of focus!!!
Well done! Nice to see you back in the posts.
As far as your son goes, it's really tough on parents and the children, I know a little about the respiratory issues as I have a couple myself lol. I hope he is able to outgrow that condition sooner rather than later, for both your and his sake (and the household).
This post was obtained through Dreemport.

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you have elaborated it very well despite that you claim it's just disorganized babbling and rambling

!LOLZ. It was disorganised babbling before I had written it. Writing organised it. Hehe

Sorry to know that you also have respiratory problems. These problems accompany many other health issues often.

Thanks for your good wishes for me and my son.

Blessed day 🌹

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aah Sis! You are juggling too many balls 😔

I'm so sorry that little man keeps on getting ill. I will pray for his little body to overcome this sooner rather than later. It is never easy when our children are not well and it seems that this has been going on for some time. This must really be taking its toll on both of you. Family first though, everyone understands that 😍

I am going to say that I agree 100% with @zyzymena here... she has shared some very wise thoughts. You know when we take on too much, we start to drown in the admin of it all and the original joy that we derived from each experience is quelled, sufficiently quashed when we feel exhausted all the time. I would say consider a couple of things... not asking you to share your answers hehe...

Which projects bring you the most joy? Which brings you the least?
Which projects are the most demanding of your time?
Imagine yourself being forced to choose to let go of one of them... which would you choose? Could you do it and be happier?
If you don't feel able to let go of any, how could you manage your time on each of them better? Do you need to do them all every day (you know Dreemport is all about balance so if you need to take a day off a week to have a me day to regain balance and sanity, you should definitely do it - and if you need some time out... then take it... it happens to all of us from time to time). Drop into my DM if you want to chat about DP or VYB ... happy to share some things that I do to make life easier.

As for writing... I have struggled to write too, this last month... lots of things happening off-chain... but I am in for this week's Ecency challenge (and remember if you can't write every day... you can always share older posts that you have not shared to Dreemport previously). Inspiration can come and go and I feel like you are reading my thoughts at the moment !LOLZ ... This here...

when the same happening becomes the story of past days it loses the emotions attached with it and it no longer remains the inspiration for today’s writing.

I need to start setting aside specific time to write every day as I am getting caught up in so many other things that my writing time is suffering... I mean don't get me wrong... I am loving the other things I have been doing...but I know I need to write too... and I am getting irritated and frustrated not writing.

Sending much love to my beautiful Sis... chat soon !LUV !ALIVE

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Nicely said @samsmith1971

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hehe right back at you... the dreem teem looking after their own hey @zyzymena 💗🙏

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Yes! That's how we roll 👍

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!LUV !ALIVE

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Oh my sweet sister, You are Love.

I am happy that I wrote this post and got so many wise thoughts and words for motivation in return. The genuine ones.

Zyzy said things well and you elaborated them well. I am thankful to both of you. You are right that I need to decide what my priorities are when I am not able to continue with everything.

I need to start setting aside specific time to write every day as I am getting caught up in so many other things that my writing time is suffering... I mean don't get me wrong... I am loving the other things I have been doing...but I know I need to write too... and I am getting irritated and frustrated not writing.

I need to write too, Sam. Seriously, without writing I don't feel like alive. Irritation and frustration surrounds me. Last days, when I didn't write because of lack of focus I experiened more anger and frustration. Also, I wasted time in useless activities that I don't usually involve in. I think I need to be more disciplined about my routine. Perhaps then, I would be able to extract that time for me.

After @zyzymena's comment I tried figuring out what the ME TIME is for me; and you k ow what I found out. It is the WRITING TIME.

Thanks for all your support and love,y dreemport family.
Love you all

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Hehehhe! If writing helps you relax then that's great. Just know when it's begining to feel like you are taking too much.

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Hehe. I will try to be more conscious about my feelings now

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!LUV !ALIVE

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